More Readers Respond

So, dear readers, let me set the record straight – right here and now: Yes, I am thinking about retiring. But not tomorrow. Not next week. Not even next month. Just… eventually. Someday. In the distant land of “the Future.”

You’d be surprised at how many people have asked me if I’m retiring since I first wrote an article in the Where What When two months ago. They ask at weddings, in 7-Mile Market, even in the school hallway – always with the same wide-eyed question: “Are you really retiring?”

Well, of course I am. Eventually. I mean, doesn’t everyone retire at some point? That brings me to the purpose of this column: to explore what you all think about retirement. I’m especially interested in hearing from those still in the “thinking about it,” “wondering if I should,” or “silently panicking” phase.

Just this past Shabbos, I was sitting outside with my beloved Shabbos Afternoon Shmooze Group, where we sit and try to solve the world’s problems between Mincha and shalosh seudos. And the topic came up. All four of us still work. All four of us still claim to “like” our jobs. And – most importantly – none of us has been gently nudged toward the exit.

There’s an eight-year age gap among us, yet we share a deep sense of friendship, commonality, and all feel pretty vital and purposeful in our professions. Are we slightly delusional? Maybe. But you’d have to ask our coworkers – assuming they’re not secretly pondering the same questions!

My friend Judy put it best: “I’m working till I drop!” We all just nodded in silent agreement, checking our watches to see if it was time to head home and set up shalosh seudos.

So, in the spirit of research (and procrastination), I continue with this column. I have three interesting letters to share with you, again, from people who are happily retired.

 I was young once upon a time, but I, too, have reached the “old man” years. I have seen many things, yet sharing the miklat (bomb shelter) this past week with 30 some neighbors opened my eyes.

Over 15 times we gathered, and though mechitza-less, we men and women gravitate to different sides of the miklat, an echo of the splitting of the Red Sea.

A 70–year-old man who minds his own business sees and hears things that are difficult to internalize, difficult to forget, such as the wan tired faces of the teenagers. I have raised – and been raised by – eight daughters. I am no stranger to the desperate sleep needs of the young and hearty.

The booms begin....

We men sit, of stolid face and posture, pretending it’s no big deal. Bring them on, our faces declare, until the next boom arrives, and our hearts ... flutter ... stutter.

On the other side of the miklat, truth resides.

With every boom, a responsive squelched scream … accompanied by a half-leap from the fragile plastic chair. Then the next boom ... and again ... the leap...the chair.

And the Master looks down … for so He desires – to unsettle, in order to settle.

In these crazy times, when the news does a complete 180 degree turn every day, when there is much more that we do not know than what we do know, I would like to take a look back and a look forward.

For many years, Israel faced a nuclear threat from Iran, and that fact had great political meaning. Two American rabbis I am close to each expressed these fears to me, separately, 30 years ago, during the Oslo period, in almost the same words. Both viewed holding on to all of Judea and Samaria (my view) as endangering Israel. Both rebuked me, more or less gently. One said, “If we provoke Iran by holding on to Judea and Samaria, and they drop an atomic bomb on us, maybe Kiryat Arba where you live will survive, but I have my doubts about the millions of Jews in the Tel Aviv area.”

The two men who thus addressed me were not hedonistic, bar-hopping atheists. They were both learned men, committed to teaching as much Torah as possible to as many young people as possible, and that was what they spent their lives doing, one in America and one in Israel. They were both very good at what they did, and both still are. I almost never respond quickly to oral arguments, and I just listened when they spoke, especially as I revere both.

by Rabbi Eliezer Gevirtz and Tzippy Basch (Feldheim 2025)

Reviewed by Chaim Yehuda Meyer

It has been said of Rabbi Alexander Ziskind of Hordona (author of Yesod V’Shoresh Ha’Avodah, a guide to everyday Jewish living) that, what’s more amazing than someone who was able to abide by his teachings, is that someone of that caliber lived in our times. This was Dr. Raphael Moller, z”l, father, husband, doctor, shul president, and askan. Always On Call, a monumental work 14 years in the making does an excellent job of covering the life of this great man. Rabbi Eliezer Gevirtz and Tzippy Basch illuminate the eyes of their readership with the image of someone whom Rabbi Yakov Perlow (the Novominsker Rebbe), zt”l, called, “an image of limud haTorah, of yiras Shamayim, of gemilus chasadim, and of osek b’tzorchei tzibbur,” both in his personal and professional life.

Today, I interviewed Elise Wolf.

What year did you graduate from Bais Yaakov of Baltimore, and how have you seen the school change since??? 

I graduated in 1986. We had two classes with 35 girls. We had outstanding teachers, like Mrs. Willner, and Rabbi Steinberg was principal. There were color wars, trips, and productions! Back then, the plays were written by students or borrowed from other schools. Or we put on popular plays like Oliver or The Sound of Music.? 

The high school used to be seventh through twelfth grade, so it has significantly grown in size. You might not know everybody in your grade like you did then, but because of the size of the grades, there are many more opportunities today to be involved in your school.? 

Chol Hamoed Pesach. My wife and I joined Shmuel Chaim Naiman for a foraging walk in the hills outside of Ramat Beit Shemesh. He is the son of Rabbi Abba Zvi and Mrs. Rochel Naiman of Baltimore. Rabbi Abba Zvi was my classmate in TA since second grade.

Walking the paths through the fields, we learned about wild oats, carrots, figs, and other plants. We learned about spiritually connecting to the physicality of Eretz Yisrael. Around our group of Anglos, we saw Israeli families, some of them very chareidi, also trekking in the hills. Is there a better way to spend Chol Hamoed?

The finale of the tour was the story of David and Goliath, who fought it out in the Elah Valley below us. Also visible dotting the surrounding hills were rising apartment complexes. Here was Israel – history, nature, and rebirth – all in one foraging walk.

by Aryeh Berkowitz

Whether you’re planning a chasana, a bar mitzvah, or a vort, everyone knows that music makes the simcha. But what music? And which musician? One-man band or orchestra? Extra singer? Which songs? How loud?

When it comes to choosing the musical entertainment, I have found that people have many questions. Here are answers to some of the common ones as well as some you may never have thought of.

 It never occurred to Dov Pear that he would one day have a stand at a local farmer’s market selling homegrown “specialty” mushrooms to a regular returning clientele. And yet week after week, he is doing what he loves: growing and selling gourmet mushrooms at local farmer’s markets.

How did this come about? Dov explains that he has always had a fascination with mushrooms whenever the family took hikes in the woods. “If you’re not looking for them, they can really go unnoticed. But like anything, once you start looking, they seem to be everywhere.” Fascinating by the myriad varieties they found, the next question was, “Can I eat these, and can I grow them?”

Eating wild mushrooms is HIGHLY DISCOURAGED unless you are an expert in mushroom identification and have been trained in the field by other experts. The simple reason is that a mistake can be deadly; some poisonous mushrooms look similar to edible mushrooms. A family friend who is an expert in mushroom identification took the family on a foraging hike and showed them a couple types of mushrooms that they could safely pick as they had no look-alike competitors. “I would never rely on a field guide or mushroom app and go ahead and eat a wild mushroom, unless I had an experienced forager with me,” says Dov.

Dov wondered if there was a safe way to grow mushrooms. It was at this time that Covid kept everyone at home, so Dov signed up for an online course and began his journey into mushroom cultivation. “It’s ironic that, as a kid, I thought that mushrooms were the embodiment of the sitra achra. How was it possible that my family actually ate them?” He remembers one time when his mother served spaghetti sauce with tiny bits of mushroom, and he had a full-blown meltdown at the table, until his wonderful mother picked out each and every mushroom for him. (He did not share how old he was at the time!)

Everyone who has children worries about chinuch (education). From the time a baby is born – and does nothing but sleep, eat, and cry – parents worry: Will the baby become spoiled if I pick him up the minute he cries? If I let her cry, am I teaching her that I don’t care? As the child grows older, the dilemmas just multiply, and of course, when he or she goes to school, chinuch becomes the teacher’s problem, too.

Are the children of our generation different from children 50 years ago? Probably. Each generation of children is affected by the surrounding society – as are parents and teachers. While we like to imagine that they used to just “know” how raise and educate children, whereas we have lost our way, maybe we are idealizing the past, and our confusion stems from today’s different social realities. Or maybe we are merely more aware of the complexity of the task. To get some insight on this very important topic, I surveyed parents, teachers, administrators, authors, and parenting instructors.

Today’s Children

Not surprisingly, people love their pet dogs. It is estimated that about 50 percent of U.S. households own at least one dog, accounting for a pet dog in 60- to 65-million households.  During the Covid pandemic, with people spending more time at home, about 3.1 million pet dogs were added to American homes.

Walking is the most common form of physical activity among adults in the U.S., and walking a pet dog is a great way to get the recommended 30 minutes of daily exercise. But there are hazards. In just the past few months, several of my friends had falls while walking their dogs, resulting in fractures of a wrist, a finger, a hip, a humerus, and an ankle. One walker’s fall resulted in a subdural hematoma. All but one of the injuries occurred in women. This is not surprising as women are more likely than men to walk a pet dog and may be at increased fracture risk because of underlying osteoporosis.

Risk of injury while dog walking is common and on the rise. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania analyzed statistics from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and found that from 2004 to 2017, the number of hospital emergency room visits involving bone fractures in older adults who had been walking leashed dogs more than doubled. The increase was attributed to two factors: a rise in pet ownership and increased emphasis on physical activity among older people.