When I was young, we used to play a game called Telephone. One person whispered a sentence in the ear of the person next to her, and that person passed it down the line. The fun of the game was to hear the final message, which was always very different from the original one.

The same misunderstandings happen in the real world when telephone, text, and email messages – even face-to-face conversations – get muddled when repeated from one person to another. Whether it is a typo in a text or ambiguous words that are misinterpreted or simply because people sometimes hear what they want to hear, the result is the same: the speaker’s intent doesn’t come through.

You might think that communication in our digital age would be an improvement over the past. But, although everyone today has their own phone and can be reached wherever they are, our instantaneous digital conversations have their downsides. You can’t read the other person’s body language when texting or emailing, so you miss cues to understanding. Emojis are a poor substitute. Texts, especially, are usually written in a hurry and are often misunderstood. Sometimes people even send a text or email to the wrong person! When people talk face to face, at least you can see the other person’s expressions and reactions. Yet, even that is not enough. 

We all want to live a long life in good health. But to do that, we have to get old. Aging is not easy and sometimes requires support from grown children, service providers, and the community.

Mrs. Smith* explained how difficult it was when her elderly father suddenly deteriorated from one minute to the next. He was living independently and taking care of himself, when he suddenly became disoriented and could not be left alone. It was very difficult to transport him, so the family really needed care at home. “We felt so lost,” explained Mrs. Smith. “We needed information about who could provide services like blood tests or IVs at home. We just did not know where to turn. It would be great if somebody would compile a list of service providers to help families in our situation.”

Mrs. Smith added, “One of the things we really appreciated was kindness from the people we met in the hospital or who came to our home. When you are in such a vulnerable situation, being treated with respect and sensitivity is most important. My father was an intelligent, articulate gentleman, and I wanted the caregivers and the people that interacted with him to treat him respectfully.”

I went on to speak to many service providers in our community. The information I gathered can be useful to families and seniors as they age. I found it amazing that every person I spoke to taught me something new. Most of all, I learned that supporting the elderly is not a one-person job. Caregivers, whether they are children or employees, need the support of society. I thank the people who contributed to this article.

All of us listen to the news and hear the facts about the war in Eretz Yisrael. But nothing compares to hearing from people who are living through it. I spoke with a few of my relatives to find out what it is like.

I spoke first to my sister, Chaya, who lives in Bnei Brak. I asked her why she sounds so calm. Wasn’t she worried that a missile might fall on her head during our conversation? She explained that it is a defense mechanism. “You can’t live in constant fear and remain sane,” she said. “Life goes on as normal most of the time.”

While we were taking at about 10 p.m., Israeli time, one of Chaya’s daughters was outside going for a walk with her friend. I found that hard to believe. Chaya explained, “The children are prepared. They understand that if an alert comes, they should go into a shelter room in a nearby building. Other adults on the street help the children. If a siren goes off while people are on a bus, the bus stops and people go into nearby buildings.

While we were talking, there was an automated call from her children’s teachers explaining that, although there would be no school tomorrow, the children would learn over the phone.

A young patient of Dr. Sondra Heiligman, a beloved pediatrician in our community, once went to an urgent care for an earache. The PA who examined the child playfully told her that he saw an elephant in her ear. The child was surprised and said that her doctor, Dr. Heiligman, had said the same thing. It turned out that the PA was one of the students who had studied under Dr. Heiligman.

This amusing anecdote shows Dr. Heiligman’s enjoyment of children as well as her desire to serve others, including medical students. These qualities, along with her interest in science, led her toward a career in pediatrics. Volunteering in the hospital playroom was one experience that helped shape her path. She graduated from Albert Einstein College of Medicine in 1985, did her residency and training in Maryland, and later completed a fellowship in pediatric endocrinology.

It is one thing to learn about history from books; it is another to hear about it from people who lived it. I visited Mrs. Klara Margaretten, a Baltimore senior, who shared her interesting life story.

Mrs. Margaretten is the mother of Judy Landman and Lazer Margaretten of Baltimore. Her husband was Yaakov Mordechai Margaretten, the younger brother of Moshe Magaretten, who used to be in the chicken business in Baltimore, and later ran the kitchen at Ner Yisrael. Klara’s husband was the youngest of 14 children, of whom only five brothers survived the Holocaust.

Read More:From Budapest to Baltimore: A Profile of Mrs. Klara Margaretten