My last article was about communication between parents and schools. Communication is good, of course, but what is it, really? We usually think of communication as one person articulating to another exactly what he thinks and how he feels. We assume that people who communicate well are truthful, saying what they mean and meaning what they say. The Torah says, “Midvar sheker tirchak – Stay far away from falsehood.” What could be clearer than that as a directive for truth in communication?

But is telling the bald truth always the best way to “communicate” – that is, to express ourselves so that the other person will accept our words without becoming either devastated or enraged? How important is it to speak the truth, and when should honesty be put aside for other important values? We have all heard the famous Rashi, in which he explains that G-d Himself altered the truth to avoid hurt feelings. It happened when Avraham and Sarah heard that they were going to have a child. Sarah was 90 years old, and Avraham was 100. She laughed and said, “After I have withered shall I again have delicate skin? And my husband is old.” But when Hashem spoke to Avraham, he changed Sarah’s words to “…I have aged.” (Stone Chumash). Hashem changed what Sarah said, says Rashi, so that Avraham wouldn’t be insulted about being called old – at age 100!

“…Who will live and who will die; who will die at his predestined time and who before his time…who by sword…and who by stoning….” (Nesana Tokef)

The prayer Nesana Tokef is one of the reasons the period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is called the Days of Awe. The days are awesome, all right. Life is, too. But sometimes that truth flits briefly across our consciousness and disappears…for the moment.

Here in Yerushalayim, the High Holidays came and went. Yes, there was the Iran deal, and Putin was sticking his fingers into the Syrian imbroglio, but otherwise, it was business as usual in Jerusalem. Stands were set up outside the GRA Shul in Shaarei Chesed for the arba minim, they were selling prefab sukkas on the corner of Keren Kayemet and Usishkin Streets, and the weather on the first night of Yom Tov was fantastic – as opposed to the rain we got on the first night last year.

As a longtime resident of Israel, I guess I’ve come a long way since the days when I viewed all Jews not from Kovne, Lithuania, as horse thieves. Yes, I can certainly pat myself on the back now for having become the tolerant lover of all Jews that I know myself to be. Yet it didn’t happen in a day.

I can still recall, as a boy in frugal, Litvishe Baltimore, people’s disdain upon hearing of families that had married out – that is, their sons had married non-Litvak, non-Baltimorean, Brooklyn girls, and had been pressured by the girls’ families not only into holding their weddings in Brooklyn (Oy vey! Why didn’t they compromise on Wilmington?) but to holding lavish affairs with Viennese tables! – heaven help us.

A land of dreams, yearnings, hopes, and aspirations. I ask myself and wonder, is it really true? Am I really fulfilling my dream? While sitting on the plane, I am experiencing the culmination of the myriad details of the last few months being actualized. For those who know me well, it came as no big surprise when I announced that I was packing up and moving to Eretz Yisrael – because, for me, the question was never “if” but “when.” Raised by my parents, who instilled in me the desire to live in the Holy Land, my love for Eretz Yisrael only increased the more I traveled there during summer and winter breaks. And for those that don’t know me well and ask why I’m moving, especially as a young single woman, my response is simple, “Eretz Yisrael is home.” It’s not more complicated than that. Where else can you feel so acutely the atmosphere of kedusha (holiness), a sense of Jewish pride, and passion towards the study and practice of our eternal Torah?

The second week of November is National Split Pea Soup week, which is not exactly headline news, but it does give me an opportunity to write about peas and related legumes. As a clinical nutritionist, I am always happy to pontificate on the health benefits of such a humble but nutrient-dense food group.

First, let’s get some terminology straight. Legumes, also known as pulses in the UK, are the broad category that includes beans, peas, and lentils. But nowadays, many people just use the simple term “beans” interchangeably with legumes, to refer to the whole category. And that’s what I’ll use in this article.

Beans come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors. In addition, they can be eaten in many forms, including whole or split, ground into flours, or as separate “fractions,” such as protein, fiber, or starch.

Vicki Kampler had a decision to make. She lived 120 miles north of her married daughter in Baltimore, 120 miles south of her married daughter in Teaneck, and 6,000 miles west of her married son in Israel. And for almost 11 years, since her husband died, her kids had been urging her to move closer to them.

“I was living in my beautiful three-bedroom, three-bathroom, two-story home in Philly,” says Mrs. Kampler. “All my memories were there. I never thought I would move away from this place, where I was exceedingly happy for 54 years.” Mrs. Kampler woke up one morning intending to redo her living and dining rooms. “The wallpaper and drapes still looked fine, but I decided that, after 23 years, it was time for a change. As I was about to leave the house to pick out new wallpaper, I said to myself, ‘No, I’m not. I’m going to move!’”

~~Did you know that reading from an iPAD can make it harder to fall sleep and affects how sleepy or alert you are the next day? According to researcher, Dr. Anne-Marie Chang,  from Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston , MA, " this includes any electronic device such as eReaders, laptops, smartphone or certain TV screens used prior to going to bed."   Dr. Chang is an associate neuroscientist in BWH’s Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders and co-author on the study published in the journal, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.   She states "The new research supports conclusions from older studies, which have also found that screen time before sleep can be detrimental. We know from previous work that light from screens in the evening alters sleepiness and alertness, and suppresses melatonin levels. This study shows comprehensive results of a direct comparison between reading with a light-emitting device and reading a printed book and the consequences on sleep."  It can also cause visual stress, visual distortions, migraines/headaches, attention & focus problems, anxieties, sensory processing disorders, and sensory overload.

New Taraveling Paraphanalia in Israel

Given the opportunity, would you choose to go back to high school and become a teenager again?  My guess is that your answer mirrors the sentiments of many people whom I asked this question: a resounding NO! What is it about adolescence that is so challenging?  Why is being a teenager so difficult?

According to Eric Erikson, one of the founders of psychology, adolescence is the age when a person is in search of their identity. An adolescent is looking inward and outward to figure out who and what she identifies with, what she wants to make a part of herself, what she will reject and how that may affect her future. Values, morals, and rules are no longer givens. An adolescent is asking questions and searching for the answers that resonate with her. She is testing the boundaries and limits of those in authority to help her identify her own boundaries and limits. She is not willing to take what is spoon-fed to her because she fears that it might taint the person she wishes to become. She is looking to her peers for approval and acceptance so that she can have the courage to accept herself.  Finding one’s identity is not an easy process.

A child is born with severe developmental disabilities in Baltimore. The doctors gently convey to the parents that their child will not only find school difficult, but his life will be profoundly affected by his disability, and he will never be able to live a “normal life.”

It is heartbreaking, but no amount of tutoring will make a child with profound intellectual disability able to function in a regular classroom. We like to think of therapy as a magic pill, but a child with severe deficiencies in a particular area will not be fully “cured” with any amount therapy, though he may be strengthened and benefit from it greatly.