When I was in Moshav Matityahu last month, former Baltimorean Lisza Beltz Jessel took me on a tour of a couple of miklatim (bomb shelters) that were used during the Gaza War and Operation Rising Lion (the 12-day war with Iran last June). Although Operation Roaring Lion was looming, we weren’t certain just how imminent it was. This is Lisza’s experience of the two previous wars.

“The real fear was in the very beginning, after October 7^th, because Moshav Matityahu is close to an Arab village that is very much a hotbed. Every Friday, this village would have protests to attract the press, so on erev Shabbos, the wind would often bring tear gas used at the protests to elevated neighborhoods, including parts of Kiryat Sefer, which is next to our moshav. The possibility and fear of a foot attack by intruders was hard to live with – you couldn’t sleep at night. Many of us had been very laissez-faire; no missiles have ever fallen here. Since we, like nearby Kiryat Sefer, are a makom comprised of learning people, it is considered that we are also under the bracha of the Chazon Ish, who said a missile will never fall in Bnei Brak.

I stayed in touch with Anne the way I’ve kept up with several high school friends for decades – by emailing annual birthday wishes. This past March 30, I had an uncanny feeling that I should call her instead.

I had lost track of Anne for years after graduation, until my extensive Google search in 2012 discovered her past and present whereabouts – a move to Hawaii, her intermarriage, and a subsequent move down South. When Anne’s husband answered the phone and shared the sad news that she had recently died, I suspected that she did not get a Jewish burial. After expressing my condolences, I did not want to hang up until I knew for sure.

“I am so sorry to hear this sad news! Was she buried in New Haven?”

“No, she was cremated. I’m trying to figure out now what she would have wanted me to do with her ashes.”

I was shocked but not at all surprised. I knew that nearly 50 percent of American Jews today opt for cremation over kevuras Yisrael (Jewish burial) – and the trend is growing. In fact, Anne’s cremation was the first of three cremations performed within the past nine months on people I’ve known for years. The second was that of a retired Jewish physician who was an avid baseball fan. He made his wishes known to his family; he did not want to take up space being buried. Instead, he requested that his ashes be strewn over second base of an undisclosed ballpark. Although his Jewish wife was appalled by the thought of cremation, her devotion to her husband and respect for his last wishes won out. The third cremation was of an intermarried Jew who never identified with being Jewish and had “converted” years ago.

I must admit that when Purim falls on erev Shabbos and erev Pesach falls on Shabbos, it can be challenging. But now that Pesach is packed away and the last load of laundry is in the washer, there’s no time to waste. It’s time to start planning for another challenging yet eagerly anticipated event: Nismach’s fourth annual Labor Day Weekend Shabbaton, planned for Friday through Sunday, August 29 to August 31.

The Shabbaton attendees are primarily members of Nismach Maryland, the local friendship and activities group for Jewish almanos (widows) formed in 2016 by Stephanie Savir-Perlman of Silver Spring. They have been joined by other almanos from as far away as Boca Raton, Brooklyn, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Lakewood, Monsey, New Haven, and Passaic.

Both of us having personally experienced widowhood, my husband, Michael Steinberg, and I – aided by a small army of our family members, friends, and neighbors – particularly look forward to hosting yet another beautiful, bekavodik, and uplifting Shabbos for approximately 60 women.

As you read this, you might think that you’ve never heard of anything sadder than a Shabbaton for widows, but nothing could be further from the truth. As the organization’s name implies, Nismach is a group that encourages happiness. It is patterned after the international group, Samchainu, which gives support to 2,700-plus widows throughout the world. Our activities are uplifting and fun with the intention of reminding the participants that, even though our husband has died, we all need to continue seeking happiness and enjoy life.

When I settled in Baltimore in 1979, it was understood that “learning in kollel” meant the kollel of Ner Israel, established just 20 years prior. Today, 250-plus kollel fellows learn at Ner Israel’s Kollel Avodas Levi, and dozens more learn in other local kollels, which seem to have sprung up overnight. In part two of this series, I highlight some additional kollels that contribute to Baltimore’s reputation as a makom Torah, a place that is conducive to growth in Torah.

The Baltimore Community Kollel

In March 2000, the Baltimore Community Kollel opened its doors as an early morning kollel with an inclusive mission to enhance the love of Jewish learning and practice for all Jews – young and old, learned and novice – regardless of background or level of observance. In Elul of 2003, the morning kollel was transformed into a full-time kollel. (It is the longest running full-time kollel within city limits.) The Kollel bought its current building on Labyrinth Road in 2005 and moved in almost 20 years ago.

When I settled in Baltimore in 1979, it was understood that “learning in kollel” meant the kollel of Ner Yisrael, established just 20 years prior. Today, 250-plus kollel fellows learn at Kollel Avodas Levi (subsequently named in memory of Rosh Hayeshiva Rav Yitzchak Ruderman, zt”l) in one of the five to seven chaburos (learning groups, see sidebar), with guidance from its Rosh Kollel, Harav Ezra Neuberger. Yet, dozens more men are learning in other local kollels, which seem to have sprung up overnight. Here are just some of them.

Kollel Nachlas Yosef

“There’s a real energy in the beis medrash, and everyone is shtieging,” says Rabbi Aron Tendler, rosh kollel of Kollel Nachlas Yosef. Named in memory of Rabbi Yosef Tendler, zt”l, longtime menahel of Ner Israel’s high school, the kollel was founded to ensure that young men entering the workforce or who are in school have a place to learn with the same intensity and enthusiasm they experienced during their yeshiva years. It is open to those who want to learn long term, short term, or even one seder (session, see sidebar) a day.

The kollel, under the guidance of seder rosh chabura, Rav Shimon Greenwald, started with 12 yungerleit (young married men); another seven, who are learning in Eretz Yisrael, joined for the month of Elul. To create an environment of intense and enthusiastic learning, the kollel yungerleit learn in one chabura (learning group) in one beis medrash, where they can take advantage of the great group dynamic and enjoy the ru’ach haTorah (the atmosphere of Torah) that comes from such an experience.

Morning and afternoon sedarim at Kollel Nachlas Yosef are held in its beis medrash on Smith Ave. For night seder, the kollel joins the many bnei Torah learning in Derech Chaim (Rav Pinchas Gross’ new shul). “Indeed, it is a wonderful testament to the amazing people of our kehilla that so much Torah is being supported throughout our community. And it is inspiring to see how many people come to learn after a long day at work,” says Rabbi Tendler.

One of the proudest, most memorable moments of my life occurred soon after I turned six years old, when my name appeared in our local paper, the New Haven Register. And, thanks to my mom, a”h, who was as sentimental as I am, I have it documented in the original yellowing clipping, headlined, “Register Fresh Air Fund Reaches Total of $18,637.”

The Register Fresh Air Fund was an initiative of our hometown paper to raise money to send local indigent children to camp. Together with my neighborhood friends, Beth, Lizzy, and Lynn, our Lemonade, Cookie, and Candy sale raised $21, a respectable donation, considering we charged a mere two cents per item!