As any good boy scout will tell you, there is a technique to building a bonfire. If you put together large sticks, as I’ve seen in picture books, the fire won’t catch. If you put a match on a pile of leaves, they will light quickly and burn out just as quickly. If you want to build a bonfire, there needs to be both tinder to start the flame and larger logs to sustain it over the long term.

Building a bonfire struck me as a good metaphor for chinuch, after a conversation I had with some other women. They had raised their children half a generation ago. Their children complain that they left their schools without feeling a deep connection and understanding of their Yiddishkeit; they were only drilled and tested to excel in Torah learning. I have had an entirely different experience. I find my children’s chinuch to be inspirational and aspirational. In fact, when I talk to young parents, I’m more concerned about the continual push for even more inspiration and less academics. The pendulum has swung in the other direction.

Lakewood is a 164-mile ride up the New Jersey Turnpike from Baltimore, but it may be too close for comfort when it comes to guarding ourselves against a measles outbreak in Baltimore and Silver Spring. What are we doing, and what should we do to protect our community?

Dr. Sondra Heiligman, a Baltimore pediatrician, explains the basics of the measles vaccine and the ramifications the current measles outbreak may potentially have, chalila, on our greater local community.

“Boruch Hashem, we have the ability to give immunizations so we can prevent most cases of the measles. The shot is known to give approximately 93% prevention of measles after one dose; after two doses, it is 97%. All day, people call me, asking what they need to do if they are visiting Lakewood. Some parents have asked advice regarding visiting parents if they are taking children who are too young to get their first or second dose of the measles vaccine.

With reams of scientific data available online, and information available through the CDC, your personal physician, and other community forums, clearly you know all there is to know about vaccines, viruses, and epidemics...or do you?

With the recent measles outbreaks in Monsey, Brooklyn, and Lakewood, as well as in Europe and Israel, government leaders, school principals, and parents face difficult decisions – even though, as of  November 18, 2018, there is no known outbreak of the measles virus in Baltimore.

 Although vaccination has been proven to prevent and even eradicate many diseases – and although a majority of the population is vaccinated – a parallel movement has grown up of parents who believe that vaccination may harm their children and have refused to have them vaccinated. Feelings run high on both sides, as might be expected when issues of life-and-death, literally, are involved.

My career as a game planner for Chanuka parties began when I was a child living at home with my parents and siblings. Every year, I planned a treasuMy re hunt for each member of the family. When I was in Gateshead Seminary, far away from home, I chose presents for each of my siblings (small things like chocolate bars) and then wrote four or five clues for each present. The whole box was sent before Chanuka with instructions to my sister closest in age to me to hide the clues and the presents.

Forty-five years later, in my role as Bubby, I am still planning Chanuka parties. I’m lucky that a number of my married children live in Baltimore, which makes it easier to get everyone together. I like to imagine that my children and grandchildren look forward to seeing all their aunts, uncles, and cousins once a year at a party. What is the definition of a party? I guess each family has its own definition. But, most likely, every Chanuka party includes food and games. Sometimes, I have the nachas of hearing one of the grandchildren ask if we are going to do such and such a game again this year. If they ask that question, then, of course, answer is going to be yes. If you, my grandchild, enjoyed the game and remembered it, then why not?

“Your pantry saved me during such a difficult time…”

“Saying thank you is not enough…”

“Mi ke’amcha Yisrael…”

“I have no words…”

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Bikur Cholim of Baltimore has earned a reputation for providing numerous essential resources and constant support to the cholim (sick) of Baltimore. One of the organization’s most utilized services is the Bikur Cholim Hospitality Rooms found in multiple local hospitals. These pantries provide a wide variety of kosher food, free-of-charge, to families as they tend to their loved ones.

Recently, Karen Katz found herself in a hospital with a family member who needed medical attention. Unable to go home, she made her way to Bikur Cholim’s Hospitality Room and found a comfortable room that provided food, reading material, and, most of all, a place to relax and reenergize. With the desire to publicize this service, Karen approached me to write an article about Bikur Cholim’s Hospitality Rooms. As a Bikur Cholim volunteer myself, I thought writing this article would be a piece of cake. But as I began to research, I was overwhelmed by the magnitude of chesed Bikur Cholim of Baltimore does every day via its Hospitality Rooms. Moreover, I was astounded by the sheer number of volunteers and donors who keep the pantries running and fully stocked 24/7.

I have served as a very proud member of the board of Pearlstone from its inception in 2001. Pearlstone, today, in 2018, is a 180-acre nature retreat and conference center as well as a working organic farm complex just 24 minutes from Pikesville. Once you arrive at Pearlstone, driving through woods-lined roads and bountiful cornfields, you are in the picturesque outdoors, far from the hustle-and-bustle of city and suburban living. You have entered the scenic rural countryside. You will witness lovely sunsets at dusk and marvel at the bright stars and vast heavens by night. You may sing and roast kosher marshmallows at a campfire or relax by toasty fireplaces in our lobby or lounges. Then you will experience a deep and restful sleep in one of our newly-redecorated guest bedrooms. You will be awakened by the crowing of the Pearlstone roosters in the morning. You will enjoy watching the Pearlstone goats grazing in grassy pastures and squawking chickens running about. The air is fresh, so take deep breaths and suck it all in. Take a morning stroll and visit the large pond for boating (soon to be licensed for fishing), and the two large outdoor swimming pools. Visit our farm and gardens and pick strawberries and blueberries. Welcome to the Pearlstone!

As a parent and as a teacher, I’ve been to a lot of November parent-teacher conferences. My children’s school in Rochester was small enough that they scheduled the entire team to meet with the parents of each student at the same time. During one meeting, a teacher very seriously noted that my child was losing his place when taking a test leading to missed questions. I didn’t know how to respond or help. Another teacher leaned in, “I found the best tool,” she said, holding up her pointer finger, “My finger. I point to help him when he needs. Do you want to borrow it?” Everyone laughed, and we had a productive conference.

Why do we do these conferences? Both parents and teachers spend a good portion of the day with a child but never at the same time. We need an opportunity to share our observations, concerns, hopes, and dreams for each child in all academic, social, and emotional areas. Face-to-face conversations get more done than those over the phone. Having a designated time for the conversation guarantees that every student, not just the most concerning, get this focus. We are allotted four minutes of time to accomplish this very weighty goal – kind of like speed-dating but about our kids. It’s not much time, but there are things we can do before, during, and after the conference to make the most of the opportunity.

To the Shadchan:

I have been dating for seven years now, and this is my story: I am a professional, pretty, and have a good personality – at least according to my friends.

At this point, most of my friends are married and busy with small children. Besides, they no longer seem to know eligible guys. They know lots of shadchanim, though, and every time a new one comes to town, I get a call: “Did you know that Sara the matchmaker is coming? Oh, you’ve got to call her!”

I’ve met lots of shadchanim. There was a time when I would drive to New York and Lakewood to meet them. I decided that it was a waste of time as they have girls in their cities to set up. Let me tell you, going to a shadchan can be overwhelming. Some of them think they can ask you the most personal questions. It is demeaning! It is almost if you are going for a job interview, except I don’t think a boss would dare ask the questions I get asked – like, why aren’t you married yet? And what are your three most prominent attributes? They seem to just go down a standard worksheet. And in the end, do they ever have an idea? No! Nothing. Some shadchanim actually engaged me in conversation and seemed interested in me as a person, although they, too, did not have suggestions. But at least it was a positive experience.

As a new grandmother, several years ago, I was excited to greet each grandchild and to celebrate their milestones as they grew. My paternal grandparents were quite elderly when I was a child, and I did not get to know them well. However, I did get to know my maternal grandmother. She taught me to knit and to embroider. She was an excellent cook, and I have fond memories of watching her make waffle cookies with an iron over the open flame on her stove. Later, I was able to ask her questions about her life as an immigrant in America. It was a connection that I made between her and the generations before her. So I looked forward to also making a connection with my grandchildren.

The great part about being a grandparent is you do not have to worry about the hard parts, like discipline or outcomes. It is all fun. If there is a temper tantrum, you just take them back home. It is so satisfying to get to know your grandchildren individually. Each grandchild is unique and special. Dedicating time to spend with each one alone can be very rewarding. I have recently returned from a trip to Costa Rica with my twin granddaughters, the youngest of my nine grandchildren. I have had many other fulfilling experiences with all my grandchildren. Aside from the fun and adventure, spending time together forges a relationship that is wonderful and enriching for both.

What are the food trends for the coming year? 

Well, first, there’s a new super-food hitting our community: the acai berry. This berry is found in the rainforests of Brazil. It is packed with antioxidants, anti-cancer substances, and may even boost brain function. (Who am I not to give my brain a boosting?!) The berry is a gorgeous purple color and is all around super fun. How do you even say it? It is pronounced ah-SA-ee. The actual berry has a very short shelf life, so the easiest (and cheapest way) of using it is either in a puree or a powder. The puree has the most fiber and the most health benefits.

Here in Baltimore people are making acai berry bowls. These are a smoothie-like puree made with frozen fruit and served in a bowl – then topped with fresh fruit. (We even make these at Sweet and Good Catering!) However, in Brazil and New York, the acai berry has moved beyond just the smoothie bowl and is being found in all sorts of savory dishes and even drinks.