he Family Business: Like Father, Like Daughter 

 In case you missed our last article, I am a fairly new teacher at Bais Yaakov, and my father has been teaching in yeshivos for more than 20 years. It’s nice to be able to come home at the end of my day and talk shop with my father, and as it turns out, many of the questions and issues he has dealt with (and continues to deal with) are the very same ones I come home with. Take a moment and eavesdrop on another of our recent dinner conversations.

by Shani, Dena, and Daniella

Babysitting – a loaded topic for sure. Finding a babysitter can be challenging in and of itself, but once we do find one, how can we best facilitate a good babysitting experience for the babysitter, children, and parents, too? We trust babysitters with our most precious jewels, sometimes for the majority of the day. Don’t all parents want to know what the sitter is really thinking? To get an insider’s perspective, we spoke to a real-life nanny, Adriana Rosie, to find out what babysitters really care about.

Adriana is better known to some as the “non-Jewish Nanny.” A single ad she placed on care.com turned into a career nannying for the Jewish community of South Florida. Having never interacted with a Jewish person prior to her first babysitting job, just two years ago, Adriana has fallen in love with the Jewish community and eats yapchik with the best of them. We sat down with her to get her take on the dos and don’ts when it comes to babysitters, her must-have baby products, and her thoughts working in the Jewish community.

Whenever I speak about staying safe in dangerous times, I remind people that my purpose is not to scare them. Whether I am giving my seminar, Refuse to Be a Victim, or teaching women how owning and carrying a handgun fits into their defense of family and home, I try to empower rather than frighten.

Carjackings, muggings, home invasions, and even squeegee encounters can be scary and demoralizing. We may not be able to stop these situations, but there are often ways to avoid them – and if you cannot avoid them, you can survive them. Situational awareness is your best tool. Keep your eyes and ears open, and keep your head on a swivel. The earlier you recognize a potential threat, the more likely that you can avoid or mitigate it.

As darkness descends a bit earlier each evening, our opportunity to notice the night sky increases. Gazing up at our galaxy spread out before us like a luminous tapestry, one can’t help but feel very, very small. The absolute vastness of space is so overwhelming that we can easily lose ourselves in its ostensibly endless depths. At the same time, we know that everything was created especially for us, and being aware of the essential role that we play in holding up the universe imbues us with a universal sense of purpose, making us feel very, very significant.

As an accountant, I talk to a lot of people about their finances and the difficulty of covering their expenses, and I am often asked about what is the best way to obtain a car: new, used, or leased?

Cars are, without question, the most expensive consumer item – not counting houses and tuition, that is. Clearly, the smoothest way to buy a car is to buy one brand new. There is no worry about who owned it before or if it has problems that were covered up. It will certainly drive nicely (and have that new car smell). The only downside is that it is the most expensive option. Therefore, if one is trying to save money, he or she will buy a used car. You see, many people keep cars for three to ten years and then sell them, often back to the dealer in the form of a trade-in. The dealer then resells that car – hence, the enormous business of selling used cars. Here is how it works: The original owner trades in a car to a new car dealer. That means the car owner is selling the car to the dealer for, say, $5,000. The dealer then resells the car to a used car buyer for $10,000. In this example, $5,000 is the wholesale price, and $10,000 is the retail price.

Welcome to Rhodes – the Island of Rhodes, that is, not Rhode Island! Rhodes is a small island near the coast of Turkey. Rhode Island is one of the New England states. Interestingly, there is a connection between the two. An Italian explorer in the 16^th century thought an island off the east coast of America looked similar to Rhodes, for the coastline and beautiful beaches that make up both of these lands. And after seeing pictures of the beaches and castles in Rhodes, I am ready to take a trip there myself! In the meantime, however, I may have to make do with Newport on this side of the world.

Reviewed By Rabbi Mordechai Shuchatowitz, Head of the Baltimore Bais Din

In a previous article, we discussed a case in which a carpool group committed to including a family in their carpool for the coming year. Although this family lived a mile-and-a-half away from the other families, they were needed to complete the carpool, so they were accepted. Later, a new family moved in within a few blocks of the other drivers. The group then wished to back out of their commitment to the far-away family.

We discussed the halacha of mechusar amana, one who is not trustworthy for backing out of a verbal commitment. If someone gave a verbal commitment to another, halacha says that the commitment must be honored.

We will examine some new scenarios that involve the question of backing out of a commitment, and we will see whether the halacha changes in these new cases.

As a grandmother, I raised my children quite a few years ago, and I never heard of tongue tie. These days, I hear about it often. What is tongue tie? And is it a new problem, or has it always been an issue but people were unaware of it?

Heather McCormick, a speech therapist and certified lactation counselor who works at the Tethered Oral Tissues Clinic (TOT) at Kennedy Krieger Institute, explains that tongue tie (or ankyloglossia) is a term used to describe functional impacts when the tongue does not move freely in the mouth because the frenulum, that thin strip of tissue connecting the tongue and the floor of the mouth, is tight or shorter than normal. “Tongue ties can also occur with lip ties (under the upper lip) and buccal ties (in the cheeks),” she says. “The term Tethered Oral Tissues (TOTs) is the umbrella term that includes all of these. Assessment of TOTs is based on how the baby is functioning, not how the frenula look.”

 ?I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point, I grew up. The special thing about growing up 50 or 60 years ago is that growing up meant taking responsibility for yourself. If you were a guy and you wanted to get married, the first question your perspective father-in-law asked was “How do you plan to support my daughter?” These days, the question commonly asked to parents and prospective in-laws is, “How do you plan to support the young couple?”

Dear Dr. Kidorf,

Recently, I was talking to my friend about the recent law making marijuana legal for 21-year-olds. She said, “So what? It’s not worse than alcohol. If we don’t outlaw alcohol, why should we outlaw marijuana?” To me, this is a ridiculous statement. As a parent of middle- and high-school-age children, I am very concerned about what this means for my children and the children of the community. As if alcohol were not bad enough, what’s to stop teens from using it? What’s to stop them from driving “drunk”? What about peer pressure, addiction, and the long-term consequences for their mental and brain health? It could even happen that small kids will consume marijuana unknowingly in the form of brownies, candy, or even pizza! The horrific possibilities just blow my mind. I even worry about my married children and their kids, who are dealing with marijuana smoke from someone else in their building.

I don’t even know how to start to process this change. I never thought that I would have to have this conversation with my kids. In summary, what should we parents be thinking about regarding this law and how should we talk to our children about it?

Blew your budget? Outta cash? Depleted your checking account? Maxed out on your credit cards?

Chanukah is coming, and like most of our wonderful Jewish holidays, it takes money for all those gifts and Chanukah gelt that you are hoping to distribute. Or perhaps you have a more mundane financial obligation coming up and simply don’t have the money to fund it. Hopefully, this article will give you some recommendations to get money quickly. Remember, these are only suggestions, which may or may not work for your family situation. But even if only one or two of these tips work for you, it will translate into found money.

As a child, Baltimore resident Jaclyn Sova loved school – so much so that she pursued a teaching career as an avid supporter of formal education. Yet it was the informal instruction she received outside the four walls of the classroom that most resonated with her and had the greatest influence on her commitment to Yiddishkeit.

Today, the Chumash and Machshava teacher at Bnos Yisroel and Bais Yaakov of Baltimore is imparting the same passion and skills she developed in her youth to students at both high schools through BGCUBED (Building Girls to Gain and Grow), a unique program of Atlantic Seaboard NCSY and the Orthodox Union (OU). 

Just over one year has passed since we pulled away from our house for the last time in a rented pickup truck packed with 11 suitcases, five carry-ons, five personal items, a stroller, car seats, toys, activities, and snacks. With our home and cars sold, we and our three children left our beloved Baltimore behind.

My husband and I are native Baltimoreans. My mother, Cindy Futeral, a”h, graduated from Bais Yaakov in 1980, and I followed her 26 years later. After high school, I attended Maalot, Towson, and University of Maryland at Baltimore. My husband had been a student at Talmudical Academy, Rambam, and Ner Yisrael, followed by University of Maryland at College Park. We loved Baltimore with its calm lifestyle, where keeping up with the proverbial Cohens was not central to our success.

I grew up in a different time. The lines between adults and children were drawn with precision. I called adults Mr. or Mrs., and it never occurred to me to answer back to my parents. When I ate with adults other than my parents, my siblings and I sat at the children’s table. We never felt left out; that’s just the way things were back then, and we accepted it without question.

Mostly everyone I knew learned proper manners. We said please and thank you, ate with our mouths closed, and were taught not to interrupt adults when they were speaking. My mother insisted we speak correctly, using correct diction. In my small town, my friends all said, “I’m going over my friend’s house” and “It was so fun.” I learned to say, “I’m going over to my friend’s house” and “It was so much fun.