Dear Shlomo, 

I come from a family of high achievers, and I don’t seem to be able to do what they do. I always fall short and then get angry at myself. This makes me really tense and anxious, and I end up sleeping a lot because I am so worn out from being so angry at myself.

Yaakov

Dear Shlomo, 

I’m concerned about my husband. His depression and anxiety are having a profoundly negative effect on me and on the rest of the family. I want him to go to therapy, but he is not interested. Can therapy help someone who does not want to change?

Concerned

Q: I am a single 26-year-old female who has been dating for seven years now, and I have a secret that I don’t feel I can share with anyone. It hurts me to write this, but it’s unfortunately the truth: I am angry with Hashem. Why would Hashem, Who can do anything, put me through this? I davened so hard for so long, I did so many segulos. I poured out my heart to him. Why would Hashem knowingly put me through this torture of seven long years of hopelessly looking for my future husband?! I wish I didn’t have this feeling. I look back longingly to my younger years when I was full of hope and had such a strong positive connection to Hashem. How can I get rid of these feelings that are getting in the way of my connecting to Hashem?

Rochel

There is nothing more infuriating than the feeling that someone is deliberately trying to ruin your day by saying or doing something to trigger you on purpose. Maybe you were even in a good mood (for a change) before your friend/coworker/partner decided to bring up an issue that you deliberately asked them to avoid. Life is hard enough, right?! 

Question: Recently, my wife was very badly hurt in a car accident. Hatzalah was called, and she was rushed to the hospital. It was very scary to see here lying there helpless and bleeding. She was in Shock Trauma for about a week. I was not able to be with her because of the virus situation, although I was in touch over the phone. 

Ironically, my wife is much better, but I find that I am not feeling so well myself. I have trouble sleeping at night, meaning I fall asleep, but I wake up in the middle of the night feeling very stressed out and can’t fall back asleep. I am also much more sensitive during the day, and my tears are very close to the surface. I think I am suffering from the trauma that I experienced through my wife’s accident. I don’t want to go to a therapist. Can you suggest any techniques I could use to help myself recover from this ordeal?