Page 70 - issue
P. 70
SHADCHANASKTHE cause shalom bayis problems for my
To the Shadchan, BY MASHE KATZ sister, but I do want to get to the bot-
tom of this. I don’t want to involve my
Ihave brother-in-law who is a popu- is saying not nice things about me. I parents, because they would never for-
lar and outgoing person. have asked my sister what he says, but give him. So I decided to talk to my
Unfortunately, he is also a loud- she does not want to be in the middle. brother-in-law myself. My problem is
mouth, saying whatever happens to what to say. I’m not going to be able to
cross his mind without thinking. As I’m not necessarily accusing him of teach him how to speak or change his
you can tell, I am not fond of him. maliciousness. But he is not a refined impulsive nature. I also don’t want to
Lately, I’ve become aware that peo- person, and I can just imagine how he tell him not to say anything at all, as
ple doing shidduch research are talks. Anyone who deals with shid- that, too, would sound suspicious to
calling him about me, even though he duchim knows that when you give callers.
is not on my list of references. I am hav- information, you need to emphasize
ing trouble getting dates, and I have the positive and present any negatives How would you address this prob-
reason to believe that my brother-in-law in a positive light. My brother-in-law lem?
just blurts things out.
YThe Shadchan Answers:
I am in a quandary. I don’t want to ou are asking a very difficult
question, I hope I can shed
some light on the subject.
First of all, how do you know it is
your brother-in-law who is giving
the negative information? Maybe
it’s one of your references, whom
you trusted to furnish a positive,
even enthusiastic, image but is instead
saying negative things about you.
That once happened to me. I called a
(continued on page 70)
66 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
To the Shadchan, BY MASHE KATZ sister, but I do want to get to the bot-
tom of this. I don’t want to involve my
Ihave brother-in-law who is a popu- is saying not nice things about me. I parents, because they would never for-
lar and outgoing person. have asked my sister what he says, but give him. So I decided to talk to my
Unfortunately, he is also a loud- she does not want to be in the middle. brother-in-law myself. My problem is
mouth, saying whatever happens to what to say. I’m not going to be able to
cross his mind without thinking. As I’m not necessarily accusing him of teach him how to speak or change his
you can tell, I am not fond of him. maliciousness. But he is not a refined impulsive nature. I also don’t want to
Lately, I’ve become aware that peo- person, and I can just imagine how he tell him not to say anything at all, as
ple doing shidduch research are talks. Anyone who deals with shid- that, too, would sound suspicious to
calling him about me, even though he duchim knows that when you give callers.
is not on my list of references. I am hav- information, you need to emphasize
ing trouble getting dates, and I have the positive and present any negatives How would you address this prob-
reason to believe that my brother-in-law in a positive light. My brother-in-law lem?
just blurts things out.
YThe Shadchan Answers:
I am in a quandary. I don’t want to ou are asking a very difficult
question, I hope I can shed
some light on the subject.
First of all, how do you know it is
your brother-in-law who is giving
the negative information? Maybe
it’s one of your references, whom
you trusted to furnish a positive,
even enthusiastic, image but is instead
saying negative things about you.
That once happened to me. I called a
(continued on page 70)
66 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
