I have a good friend who put me down as a family reference on her children’s shidduch resumes. I have gotten phone calls over the years asking about the family. Now their youngest child is entering shidduchim, and the calls are starting again. The situation has changed, though. Being a good friend, I have information about this child that people might want to know. Watching her grow up, I have seen her in many situations, and my opinion of her is that she is selfish and has a difficult and unpleasant personality. I now feel uncomfortable answering questions. Should I tell or not tell? I said to my friend that maybe I am not doing a good job and she should take me off as a reference. She said, “Oh no, you know us so well.” But I don’t think she would want me to express my unflattering opinion to callers.

A few months ago, neighbors of mine, Meira and Eli Greges, moved to Ramat Beit Shemesh, in Eretz Yisrael, with their four children, the oldest of whom is only seven. Meira’s parents, Eliezer and Sandy Gunzburg, still live here in Baltimore. Since I am friends with Sandy Gunzburg, and I know that Meira is close to her parents, I wondered what could motivate a young couple to leave their parents to move across the world. But, first, I asked Sandy what she thought.

I have been reading your column for the past few months and appreciate your abundant information and wise insights on alcohol and drug abuse. Alcohol is an ancient drug, and we know – or are at least learning – about its dangers and how to deal with them. But now that marijuana has become legal, what are the hidden consequences? Do we have to be concerned about cannabis-laced brownies at a kiddush or wedding or on the Shabbos table? Will edibles become as common as sushi and as acceptable as a glass of wine or shot of whisky? Can a person unknowingly overdose on such edibles and become very sick? Finally, you wrote a lot last time about the effects of cannabis on teenagers. What about adults? Is there any difference in the symptoms or rates of addiction? How do adults react to cannabis, and how would it affect their parenting?

It’s Thursday night, and I’m setting the table for Shabbos. As I spread the snowy white tablecloth onto the table, I feel something crunchy beneath my feet. I peer down and spot a lone Cheerio laying peacefully on the rug. I smile as I pick it up then start to unfurl the plastic table covering. Oops, there’s something else underfoot. This time, it’s a piece of pretzel coating from the schnitzel we had for dinner the night before. And look, I see a piece of construction paper over there.

The purpose of this article is not to make judgments; rather, it tells how frum life was back–in-the-day and how things have changed over the past 70 years. There have been some very positive changes and some negative ones. Let the reader draw his or her own conclusions.

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In the 1950s, I was a student of Talmudical Academy, my sister was a student at Bais Yaakov, and our family was a part of the very small and close-knit Baltimore Orthodox community. Our home and my parents were very frum, with many minhagim (customs) and special music for all Yom Tovim that were based on a strong German mesorah (tradition) passed down by our avos (ancestors) from generation to generation. Our home was one of hachnasas orchim, chesed, and tzedaka. Limud Torah was not visible in the home and was centered, instead, in our schools and our shul. Granted, there was no ArtScroll back then. Still, how was it that our home had practically no sefarim?

“Miriam the prophetess took her drum in her hand, and all the women went forth after her with drums and with dances.” (Exodus 15:20)

Rashi, commenting on the Mechilta of Rabbi Yishmael, says that the righteous women of that generation brought instruments with them due to their confidence in Hashem’s miracles. They knew the geula (redemption) was coming and prepared for celebrating it while still in Egypt. Song has a special place in our tradition, and some of us feel a special communication with Hashem through music. Yet Jewish women don’t always have the opportunity to express themselves due to the halachas of kol isha (the intimacy of a woman’s singing voice). So, what can they do to connect to Hashem through music?

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I want to share some examples of what women in our community are creating to inspire themselves and others and to connect to Hashem.

I grew up in a musical family and began studying classical piano at the age of five. Throughout my youth and college, I also studied guitar and music theory. I sang in numerous choirs, composed music, and performed in many different venues. Music was a major part of my life, even though I ended up pursuing a different vocation. But Hashem beckoned. I became completely observant, and all my vocal performances ended. I stopped composing because what I had previously expressed in lyrics no longer interested me. My story is in no way unique. I have spoken to many women who followed similar paths.

by Shani, Dena, and Daniella

Winter break is coming. And now that the price of a dozen eggs is almost as much as the cost of the chicken itself, how do we plan a family winter vacation that won’t break the bank? We enlisted the help of three experts to help us all plan a winter getaway that is more budget conscious.

he Family Business: Like Father, Like Daughter 

 In case you missed our last article, I am a fairly new teacher at Bais Yaakov, and my father has been teaching in yeshivos for more than 20 years. It’s nice to be able to come home at the end of my day and talk shop with my father, and as it turns out, many of the questions and issues he has dealt with (and continues to deal with) are the very same ones I come home with. Take a moment and eavesdrop on another of our recent dinner conversations.

by Shani, Dena, and Daniella

Babysitting – a loaded topic for sure. Finding a babysitter can be challenging in and of itself, but once we do find one, how can we best facilitate a good babysitting experience for the babysitter, children, and parents, too? We trust babysitters with our most precious jewels, sometimes for the majority of the day. Don’t all parents want to know what the sitter is really thinking? To get an insider’s perspective, we spoke to a real-life nanny, Adriana Rosie, to find out what babysitters really care about.

Adriana is better known to some as the “non-Jewish Nanny.” A single ad she placed on care.com turned into a career nannying for the Jewish community of South Florida. Having never interacted with a Jewish person prior to her first babysitting job, just two years ago, Adriana has fallen in love with the Jewish community and eats yapchik with the best of them. We sat down with her to get her take on the dos and don’ts when it comes to babysitters, her must-have baby products, and her thoughts working in the Jewish community.

Whenever I speak about staying safe in dangerous times, I remind people that my purpose is not to scare them. Whether I am giving my seminar, Refuse to Be a Victim, or teaching women how owning and carrying a handgun fits into their defense of family and home, I try to empower rather than frighten.

Carjackings, muggings, home invasions, and even squeegee encounters can be scary and demoralizing. We may not be able to stop these situations, but there are often ways to avoid them – and if you cannot avoid them, you can survive them. Situational awareness is your best tool. Keep your eyes and ears open, and keep your head on a swivel. The earlier you recognize a potential threat, the more likely that you can avoid or mitigate it.