When my coworker Haviva Bulka first mentioned that she was housing Baltimore’s new Proposal Gemach, my curiosity was piqued. What in the world is a proposal gemach? Does it make volunteers available to propose for you if you are as shy as Miles Standish? Legend has it that the leader of the Pilgrims wanted to marry Pricilla Mullins but lacked the confidence to propose. Instead, he sent his friend John Alden to pop the question. When John conveyed Miles’ proposal, Pricilla said, “Speak for yourself, John.” They got married and lived happily ever after – John and Pricilla, that is. I soon learned that the Proposal Gemach does nothing of the sort.

Our tradition obligates us to care for our parents until the end of life – personally, if possible, yet if not, then to employ caregivers for their assistance. The assumption is that the issue of providing appropriate care is now resolved. However, as someone who has been involved as a mental heath therapist, care advocate, and sometimes a relative with individuals and families approaching elder care both at home and in facilities, I can say that this is when the real watchdog effort needs to take place.

A number of years ago I attended a family bar mitzvah in Israel. Everyone there was related to the bar mitzvah boy. There were grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. I noticed two strangers sitting at one of the tables and wondered how they were related. It turns out they weren’t. They were seminary girls who had called and asked if they could come for Shabbos lunch, since the family was on the list of Shabbos lunch hostesses.

“Why not,” the hostess thought. “There is plenty of food!” The two girls sat though the whole family simcha. I worried about them, because I thought we should be paying more attention to them so they wouldn’t feel like outsiders. But the girls seemed fine and unperturbed by this peculiar situation.

It seems strange to put two perfectly normal girls from normal families in the position of poor people who have no place to eat and need to ask strangers for a place in the middle of a family simcha. This year my granddaughter is in seminary in Israel, and I was interested in hearing about her experiences going to strangers for Shabbos.

Among many other challenges of aging is determining when it is appropriate to accept assistance with healthcare. There are several different options available, such as remaining in your home with aides, moving to an assisted living facility, or moving to a nursing home. Each option has different financial ramifications and considerations. I hope to provide you with an idea of the relative costs and ways to pay for the different options. In addition, I will go through some of the estate planning techniques available to assist you in this process.

I was in the pool yesterday swimming laps. I’m getting into a nice routine these days. I know what clothes to pack and have all my toiletries arranged together so I’m ready for the shower after my swim. When I’m in the locker room, I hear a lot of plastic bags crinkling as other women organize themselves too. I’ve gotten pretty good at this schedule and very rarely leave something behind.

Not much has been written about Rebbetzin Tamar Shteinman, and that which I have read did not do the personality of this great woman justice. It is therefore an honor to bring the life story of Rebbetzin Tamar Shteinman to light.

For this article, which is part of a series about the wives of Gedolim, I was zochah to get to know Rebbetzin Sarah Yisraelzon, the daughter of Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, zt”l. It was Rebbetzin Yisraelzon who put me in touch with a granddaughter of her dear neighbor, Rebbetzin Tamar Shteinman, a”h. Rebbetzin Shteinman’s granddaughter was able to paint a very warm and vibrant picture of her beloved savta. It was also a real privilege to speak to Rebbetzin Tova Shapiro, the only living daughter of Rebbetzin Shteinman.

?It’s amazing how easily luxuries can become necessities. When that happens, we start taking those luxuries for granted. I was fortunate to have grown up in a home where nothing was taken for granted. My mom and dad appreciated whatever they had and were grateful for it. As a result, it was natural for them to express immediate appreciation for even the most simple gift or kind gesture. These days, expressing appreciation and saying thank you seems to have fallen on hard times.

Showing hakaras hatov (gratitude) to Hashem for His blessings is challenging for those who don’t naturally express thanks to others. It seems that too many people are self-absorbed almost to the point of narcissism. I’m wondering if there is a direct correlation between the volume of one’s material possessions (i.e: “stuff”) and the dramatic decrease in the measure of gratitude one demonstrates.

Taking a few moments to pause our hectic race against our “to do” lists to look at the world around us will reveal the bounty of blessings we receive every day. We live in a time when technology allows us to connect with family and friends who live far away, we enjoy the familiarity of our close-knit neighborhoods, and we are free of the weight of anonymity that plagues larger, “in-town,” communities. We are also fortunate to live in a state where the seasons change, each one bringing new gifts. The shift in the temperature, and the mood that comes with it, breaks the monotony of daily life, such that each morning promises adventures in weather that even the meteorologists can’t predict.

Dr. Elie Krakowski is no stranger to the readers of the Where What When. We interviewed him over 20 years ago, shortly after his move to Baltimore, and over the years he has graciously agreed to contribute articles in response to our pleadings. Now we turn to him again to explain the current crisis in Ukraine.

Dr. Krakowski, mostly retired now, has a PhD in international relations from Columbia University in New York. During the Reagan administration, he was Special Assistant to the U.S. Assistant Secretary of Defense at the Pentagon. He coordinated multimillion-dollar programs in humanitarian aid and contributed to presidential national security directives. He helped U.S. intelligence agencies improve the way they collect, analyze, and distribute intelligence data. His main role while at the Pentagon was as an architect of American policy on Afghanistan. He also participated actively in the negotiating process that brought an end to the Soviet-Afghan war.

Sara Levin* is a spunky 8^th grader who attends the local Bais Yaakov. Her father is a lawyer and her mother is a professional organizer and party planner. Sara is the youngest child in a large family. It has always been the goal of Sara’s parents to raise fiscally responsible children, and for the most part, all six of Sara’s siblings are prudent with their money and make educated decisions about it. How did Sara’s parents accomplish this? Let’s use a small example to illustrate how Sara’s parents have helped her be fiscally responsible.