Friday – it’s a day of standing in the kitchen, giving baths, setting the table, lighting the candles…and wearing costumes?

Purim this year falls out on none other than an already busy Friday. So when exactly are we cooking for Shabbos? Not sure, but what we can be sure about is that we’ll have not only two delicious meals on Shabbos, but one on Friday as well. Putting aside the food (which will be prepared at some unknown point in time), let’s talk about some of the other mitzvos of the day and how they may (or may not) look different this year.

Let’s start with mishloach manos. Between preparation and execution, it is probably the most time consuming of Purim’s mitzvos, especially when it involves themes. Themes: it’s a word some families love and others dread.

Since Chanukah, or even before, many families discuss endlessly what they are going to be – and then search Amazon or other stores to get materials to make the perfect costumes… only to discover that a younger sister insists on being a ballerina and ballerina only, so you must cajole her into wearing the absolutely “horrid” painter’s apron and hat by promising her all the Dum-

Dums you receive in your mishloach manos.

With Purim quickly approaching, it feels like a good opportunity to once again consider the dangers of teenage drinking. My personal preference – and the preference of just about every professional in the entire world – is that teenagers should refrain from drinking alcohol on Purim or any other day because no good comes from it. Alas, teenagers are curious and skilled at finding pathways to drinking, usually through alcohol stored at home. And some parents and community leaders seem to give drinking a pass on Purim, unfortunately.  

The good news is that most teenagers will choose not to drink on Purim, though some will. With that in mind, I put together 10 strategies parents might consider well before we start to read the Megillah to mitigate the dangers of teenage drinking. 

All of us impact the world around us on some level. Whether we are educators, parents, employers, employees, or friends, we all interact with others and want to have a degree of influence on the people around us. When we see someone act in a way that needs improvement, we instinctively want to share our beliefs about the proper mode of behavior, and we hope that they will listen to our advice. Many of us may be surprised that, on a regular basis, our advice is often not followed. This is becoming increasingly more prevalent even among authority figures such as parents and teachers. Of course, authority figures often have the power to use coercion, but today that causes much resentment and is only used as a last resort. What then is the most effective way to have a positive impact on others?

The main focus of this article is to answer this question from my personal perspective as a rebbe dealing with beis medrash age talmidim. However, it is equally applicable to parents and, to a certain extent, to all of us who have social interactions. (The essential insights are true for younger children as well, although they have to be applied differently than the approach discussed in this article.)

To my dearest granddaughter,

You called last night to ask me about “Great Zaidy’s Box,” and I promised to call back because I was listening to a shiur. (I did try by the way.) Well, you got my literary juices flowing, so now you are getting a story to pass on to future generations.

Many, many years ago, Yaakov Boehm and Rochel Goldstein were growing up in Eastern Europe, on the Czech/Hungarian border. They both lived in small villages, not far from each other. Their families were quite poor, and they lived very simply. Great Bubby’s favorite doll was made of yarn, and Great Zaidy's favorite ball was made out of string. But, believe it or not, they were happy and content!

Without computers, telephones, radios, or even newspapers, they knew very little about the war that was brewing in Europe in the late 1930s and the early 1940s. They were young adults, out of their teenage years, actually the same age as your older siblings, when their world turned upside down.

“How can I forgive him after all he did to me?” 

“I just don’t see how I can ever move on from the pain.”

 “When is this person ever going to leave my life?”

There are people who walk around in their day-to-day lives carrying resentment towards people who have wronged them in the past. They desire to detach themselves from the pain, but it is difficult. They look to Hashem and ask, “Why did you give me this person in my life?” Although we say, “time heals wounds,” some people ask, “How much time do I need until I finally can forgive this person?”

*  *  *

Forgiving is not easy; in fact, it can take a tremendous amount of strength – and certainly time – to forgive someone who has injured our emotional core. But forgiving is a learned art that can relieve us of a tremendous amount of emotional anguish. Most people do not enjoy carrying with them pain from the past. They prefer letting go and moving on with life. The question is, how?

Over the last 40 years, the Baltimore community has helped many widows and orphans after they have unfortunately lost a loved one and there was no plan to replace the lost parnassa that the deceased had been providing for the family. I have been involved, too often, in helping raise these needed funds. Many millions have been raised, and tzedakas like Avigdor’s Helping Hand, a New York-based tzedaka organization, and our local Ahavas Yisrael Charity Fund have provided tzedaka to these mishpachos. Rabbi Boruch Brull, the executive director of Ahavas Yisrael, has been at the forefront of many of these efforts.

I am a big believer in buying insurance that will protect you and your family. I am not a professional financial advisor or an insurance broker. I am a conservative businessman, and many people come to me for financial counsel, which I am happy to give, using my extensive life experience as a guide.

It happens to the best of us: You’re ready for dinner, the aroma of fresh pizza and fries fills the house. Before settling down at the table, you take a quick detour to the fridge to get the ketchup – and you can’t find it. You were pretty sure the ketchup was there the day before. You check everywhere, but you just don’t see it. You conclude that someone must have finished it, shrug, and get a new bottle from the pantry. (You should always have backup ketchup for emergencies.) And then, a certain unrecorded number of slices and some fries later, you go to put the ketchup in the fridge only to find the one that you had been looking for earlier sitting there, as smug as a plastic squeeze bottle can be.

Things have an uncanny way of avoiding our detection (or we have an uncanny way of not noticing what’s in front of us). Either way, the ability to conceal is a crucial survival skill to many animals (and, apparently, ketchup).

In Israel, Thursday, the 22^nd day of Shevat, 5785, will surely be a day enshrined forever in the long, storied history of the Jewish people. It may or may not register much in America, except for some blog post or possibly a newspaper article of the event. There will be sighs and emotions for a moment, which may even last a few moments, possibly even an hour. Then it’s off to Target or the JCC.

It won’t be anything like that here in Jerusalem and the whole of Israel, today. I don’t say this to cast aspersions on our brethren who don’t live in Israel. G-d forbid. I know there are millions of Jews around the world who will be heartbroken by the news and pictures. What I am trying to say is that it won’t be life as usual in Israel. Not today.

Earlier this morning, the remains of the Bibas family (or so we thought – more on that later) and Oded Lifshitz were returned from Gaza in coffins. Most of the world will yawn. But for us living in Hashem’s land, it is a day of grieving, a day full of sadness and restrained, silent rage. While other days have been weighed down by similar sorrows over the last 500-plus days, there have been none quite like this one. The entire country is in a state of shock even though most feared this day would come. Now that it has arrived, it is far worse and heavier than anyone could have imagined. A malaise has taken over the city and the country; everyone is wondering how we got here and, more importantly, how we keep from, G-d forbid, getting back here. 

Although it’s still more or less the middle of the winter, with even more cold weather and snow forecast for later this week, gardeners have their eye on the prize and are looking forward to the upcoming growing season with keen anticipation! How does one anticipate the warm months when, bs”d, seeds will miraculously sprout, vines will grow high and wide, and the long-awaited fruits of one’s labor are ready for harvesting?

Besides just thinking about what the great outdoors will have in store, there are actually concrete steps that can be taken, even at this early stage. Now is the time to peruse seed catalogues and decide what vegetables you would like to grow. In addition to having a much greater variety of seed (and plant) offerings, seed catalogues – available through the mail or online – also give you much more information about their seeds: i.e., disease resistance, time to harvest, anticipated size, etc. Like any other important endeavor where you would like the best chance of success, careful planning is the key.

We inherited our refrigerator from the previous owners of our condo. Okay, so it wasn’t the latest and greatest. It didn’t take up one entire wall in our kitchen and couldn’t hold enough food for 15 families. But it was good enough for us.

Recently, I decided that I wanted to start using the icemaker and dug out the manual that came along with it. I figured I’d read the booklet while I was at it and stumbled upon something amazing: My fridge has a Shabbos mode! Well, how do you like that? I practically jumped for joy. This discovery was like finding money in the backyard. And all along I thought my old appliance was far from being state of the art. I thought it didn’t compare to the other new and gleaming appliances that stood boldly and beautifully in my kitchen. Who knew?

I don’t ever remember having a well-lit refrigerator. I was used to not being able to clearly identify the many contents that were contained inside. I kept the light bulbs unscrewed at all times so I wouldn’t have to remember to unscrew them before Shabbos. Well, no more. I simply press two buttons simultaneously, and viola, the readout says “Sb” and I’m good to go. I don’t know what to do with myself.