One of the most stressful things about being a parent is taking your child with a learner’s permit out to practice driving. I don’t think my father ever forgot what happened when he took me driving as a teenager. Suddenly, we found ourselves on the beltway going in the opposite direction of all the other cars. My father remained calm, and we quickly got off at the next exit, but it was very scary.

I remember one of my first driving experiences after I got my license. I lived on Yeshiva Lane and took the car to go to Shapiro’s, the kosher supermarket on the corner of Old Court and Reisterstown Roads. I turned right on Old Court but then was too scared to make a left turn into the Shapiro’s parking lot. I just continued driving straight, on and on, because I was afraid to turn around. Soon I was lost. This was in the days before cell phones and Waze. Finally, I was brave enough to pull over at a pay phone and call my mother. She called our neighbor and cousin, Sheftel Neuberger, z”l, who knew everything. After I described which billboards were in front of me he directed me on how to get home. 

When illness strikes, so much is at stake, yet a person feels like he is lost in a forest with no way out. Thankfully, our wonderful Jewish community has many organizations to help people who find themselves in that situation. There are a number of organizations in the NY/ NJ area that help people with everything, from expediting appointments to getting insurance coverage to running to a pharmacy for an unusual medication. They include Echo, Refuah Health Line, Chaim Medical, and RCCS. Our Baltimore organizations also help people with advocacy and referrals. All the organizations in both cities work together and assist each other serve the people who need their help. 

I have been thinking about simchas lately. This is a subject that affects almost every family. And while a simcha is truly a joyous occasion, a highlight in our ordinarily mundane lives, it comes with a myriad decisions and the delicate managing of relationships. I gleaned many of the ideas in this article from a collection of essays called Rays of Hope by Rabbi Chaim Zev Ginsburg.  

Are You Coming?

Whom to invite to the simcha and who should attend are

My brother Aharon Dovid is 16 years younger than I am. He was born when I was in the 11^th grade. When I am with him and some of his students, he likes to introduce me as his younger sister. The students look a little shocked, but it always gets a good laugh.

Aharon Dovid, also known as Rabbi E, is an expert at getting people to laugh and connecting to others. All the things he used to do that annoyed his teachers when he was in school he now uses for his career. To be a kiruv professional, you need those skills. Aharon Dovid works as a kiruv rabbi on the NYU campus, where the students he meets love him and look up to him. I know he is always busy, but I am not sure what he does all day. I thought it would be interesting to hear about his activities, goals, what he considers a success, and whether things have changed since the war in Israel began.

My sister, Esther Baila Schwarz, who lives in Monsey, is a well-known speaker for women on Torah topics. Recently, she took a new position with a hotline called Libainu, where girls between 12 and 18 years old are encouraged to call with their questions on hashkafa topics or any problems they have. My sister is the one who answers their questions and often repeats that she is not a therapist or a professional, just a nice bubby who answers questions. Although I am far from my teenage years, I was amazed at the wide variety of questions that the girls asked. I think you will also find them interesting. With Esther Baila’s permission, I am presenting some of the questions and her answers.

“Having a baby is earth shattering,” says Judy Yankelove, a local lactation consultant. “A new mother needs support. She should eat right, get rest, find friends to talk to, and ask for help from friends and family.”

This advice seems obvious, and this was how new mothers were treated in Europe. My father, who was born in Germany in 1930, told me that women stayed in bed for two weeks after giving birth. However, times have changed, and women today are reluctant to take it easy. Or perhaps our very busy lives make it difficult. Even the healthcare professionals have abandoned the “old-fashioned” ways and send new mothers and babies home after 24 hours, unless there is some complication.