by Shmuel Joab
In light of the recent
back-and-forth in the letters to the editor page in the Where What When about
being dan lekaf zechut, giving the benefit of the doubt, I would
like to clarify the concept and when it applies.
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“That’s it! This is the last time
I’m going to put up with this type of behavior!” Mr. Rosenfeld was outraged at
the sight of more wrappers and snack bags littering his carefully tended
flowerbeds. The trouble began a few months earlier, soon after his neighbor,
Mrs. Hasenfeld, passed away. The house was put on the market and, several busy
Sunday open houses later, was purchased for a respectable sum by the Feldstein
family. Even before they moved in, Mr. Rosenfeld noticed changes. The
landscaping team had been replaced by a neighborhood kid with an old lawnmower.
Between the dull blades and the halfhearted effort, large areas of the yard
were overgrown, and he could almost feel his property value descending. After
the move, things only got worse. Despite a few bearable introductions around
moving day, Mr. Rosenfeld felt that very little attention came his way from
next door. The only things coming his way were bits of trash and debris left in
the yard by the neighbors. This morning, upon discovering evidence of the
entire Shabbos party in his garden, he could take it no longer. He stormed inside
and informed his wife that he intended to reach out to the authorities. Mrs.
Rosenfeld knew that it would be difficult to talk him out of it just then and
suggested that he wait until after breakfast and his daily Wordle before taking
action.
“Maybe they just don’t realize
what’s happening?” she suggested a bit later, when things were calmer. “They’ve
really got their hands full.”
Mr. Rosenfeld was not buying it. “How
could they possibly not notice? The stuff is everywhere! They just don’t know
how to treat neighbors, and I’ve had enough of it!”
“I’m not sure,” his wife responded,
“I feel like we should give them the benefit of the doubt.”
“What doubt?!” he retorted, “I
don’t have any doubt!”
Is Mr. Rosenfeld required to give
the Feldsteins any benefit of the doubt?
The Requirement
In parshat Kedoshim, the
Torah teaches “B’tzedek tishpot amitecha” – You shall judge your friend
favorably. When considering his actions, you should not judge him as a rasha,
a wicked person, but rather b’tzedek – as a tzadik, a righteous
person. The Chafetz Chaim discusses the parameters of this mitzvah at length. In
the beginning of Sefer Chafetz Chaim, the authoritative laws of lashon
hara, the Chafetz Chaim clearly states that this a Biblical mitzvah,
according to all poskim (see Peticha, Asin 3). The laws are very
straightforward.
The Details
The specific requirements of when
this mitzvah applies generally depend on two factors: the character of the
person who committed the supposed offense and the level of perceived
wrongdoing. People of excellent character, who display a general attitude of
fear of Heaven, must be judged favorably even in cases where the act appears
more likely to be wrong. So long as there is a possibility of finding
justification for his actions, one is required by the Torah to do so.
Even in regard to average people,
one is required to judge favorably in a case where it is 50:50. Even in a
case where the action appears more likely to be wrong, the Chafetz Chaim
strongly advises that you should leave room for doubt and not decide for
certain that the action was incorrect.
Only in regard to one who is a
known rasha, wicked person, is there room to judge unfavorably. In fact,
the Chafetz Chaim rules that, concerning a rasha, one should judge unfavorably,
even in cases where it seems more likely that the action is actually correct.
Room for Doubt
Even though it has been clearly
established that there is a mitzvah, an obligation, to judge the average person
favorably, it is not as clearly defined how imaginative one must be in thinking
of justification for the seemingly negative action. The halacha only requires
us to judge favorably in cases where there is a legitimate possibility that
there was no wrongdoing, but what defines “legitimate”? In the above example,
especially given his perception of previous events, Mr. Rosenfeld does not see
any reasonable explanation for his neighbor’s incendiary behavior. His wife, on
the other hand, seems more eager to find an excuse for the neighbors, with a
plausible explanation that they simply don’t realize how much it disturbs her
husband.
The Gemara in Shabbos (127b)
relates the story of a man from the Galilee who traveled far from home to find parnassah,
eventually landing a job in southern Israel. After he had labored in the fields
for three years, he decided it was time to return home and approached his
employer on Erev Yom Kippur requesting payment with which he could support his
family back up north. “I don’t have any cash on hand,” replied the wealthy
landowner.
“Maybe you can give me some fruits
which I could sell…,” requested the impoverished worker.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have any,” came
the reply.
Land? Sorry. Livestock? No.
Housewares? Nothing doing. The disappointed employee slung his bag over his
shoulder and began to trudge home empty-handed after three years of work. After
Sukkot, the employer traveled to the north of Israel. Besides the wages in
full, he also brought three wagonloads of food, drink, and treats. The worker
was beside himself with joy and invited his former employer inside for a feast.
When they finished, the man from the south asked his former employee, “What did
you think when I told you I had no cash?”
“I thought you must have found a
good deal on some merchandise and used up your cash.”
The questions continued. “And when
I told you I had no land?”
“I figured that you had given it
over to someone to manage, and you were already committed to him.”
The employee continued to explain
how he understood that each item he asked for was simply unavailable. The
fruits had not been tithed, and even the housewares had been designated as a
donation for the Beit Hamikdash. The stunned employer thereby swore, “By the avodah,
that is exactly what happened!” The Gemara concludes with the statement: “Just
as you judged me favorably, so too may you be judged favorably by Hashem.”
The question may be asked, do we
really expect the worker to go to such lengths to justify someone else’s
actions? Here is a man who worked for several years, far from his family, just
to put some bread on the table, and the master cannot give him even one red
cent? The answer may be that, while there is no obligation to bend over
backwards to put a positive spin on things, it is still a worthwhile endeavor. The
more creative we act towards others in pushing away their seeming wrongdoing,
the more we will find ourselves justified by Hashem.
A Caveat
This does not mean, however, that
one may act carelessly and disrespectfully and then demand of others to judge
him favorably. Each person is always responsible for what they do and is
obligated to behave in a courteous and conscientious manner. Certainly, if
someone is confronted and called out on their unjustified negative behavior,
they could not have a claim against the other party to judge them favorably. If
indeed there is a reasonable explanation, they may defend themselves
accordingly. The obligation is really an inward obligation, as we personally
perceive other people’s actions, not as they perceive ours.
In Conclusion
In employing this middah
(character trait), we are mostly helping ourselves. There is a well-known book,
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. One of these habits is defined
as “Seek to Understand.” When we place our focus on finding justifications and
excuses for others, we are constantly reaffirming the natural tendency of
people to want to do the right thing. Regardless of what the mainstream media
is feeding us, the truth is that most people are trying to do their best. Instead
of spotting other people’s negative behaviors, we are in the habit of seeing
the good, and this can help us to become more positive and optimistic in our
own lives. R’ Mordechai Schwab, zt”l, was a mashgiach in several
yeshivas. The position of mashgiach generally includes a certain amount
of discipline, making sure the bachurim in yeshiva are keeping the
schedule properly. Another mashgiach once inquired of R’ Schwab, “How
can I do my job and still judge people favorably? I am meant to enforce the
rules of the yeshiva, and when I see something questionable, I must address
it!”
R’ Schwab answered him that he too
had thought about this. What he had discovered is that nearly 80 percent of the
time the actions ended up having an acceptable explanation. “I would rather be dan
l’kaf zechut and be correct 80 percent of the time, rather than judging
unfavorably and being right only 20 percent of the time,” he said.
The Shaarei Teshuvah of
Rabbeinu Yonah, a medieval ethical work, brings the story of a rebbi and his
student walking together. Suddenly, the student nearly gagged as a vile smell
penetrated his nostrils. Looking around for the source of the odor, the student
discovered a rotting carcass on the side of the road and exclaimed loudly about
how putrid it was. The rebbi responded, “Don’t you see how white its teeth
are?” This is the way of righteous people, to always seek out the good traits
of their friend and to focus on the positive.
Additional sources: Shaarei Teshuvah, section
3, #218, and Sefer Chafetz Chaim Hilchos Lashon Hora, klal 3, #7
