Driving has always been a pleasurable pastime of mine, and it has become more than a way to get from here to there and the source of many interesting experiences.
When our children came of age – 15
years and nine months – my husband and I teamed up to prepare them with the
rudiments of a successful life of driving in Baltimore. My husband gave them
their basic starter hours, and a certified driving instructor taught the
Maryland required course. Once they could safely drive on the street without
incident, I took over so they could hone their skills and get to their
milestone of 60 hours required by Maryland MVA. This was followed by a
celebratory trip to the MVA where they passed the test and received their
licenses. They always appreciated the aftermath: congratulatory messages from
relatives, high fives from close friends, and a new feeling of maturity and
independence.
In addition to training my kids, I
also volunteered to work with their friends and other family friends. After all
my children became seasoned drivers, I was encouraged to go professional by
people who saw my ability to exude patience in the passenger side. About 10
years ago, I began working with young ladies to improve their driving skills
and acquire hours towards the Maryland driving test requirement. In addition, I
started working with women who were already licensed but needed confidence and
encouragement to master lane changing, beltway driving, parking, or any special
technique. I enjoyed working with these individuals and would like to
share a few vignettes of the close to 100 ladies with whom I have driven.
A Skill for All Stages of Life
A young lady from out of town was
about to begin a new job and needed help figuring out how to get there. We
started with the basics. Learning the geography of the neighborhoods was vital
to learning how to get to her future job. Where is Fallstaff Road? What is the
speed limit on Reisterstown Road, Park Heights, Willow Glen, etc.? Once
she had an idea of where she was going and how fast to go, we began practicing
in earnest. Within three sessions, she figured out how to get to her job
safely. At that point, she no longer needed lessons.
Note to parents: Long
before your child is ready to drive, you can teach her from the comfort of your
own driver’s seat. Point out street names and landmarks as you cruise around
the city. Ask her if she knows how to get home from where you are. Or how to
get to Seven Mile Market, the library, school, etc. This will give her a big
advantage when she turns 15 years and nine months.
A woman in her 60s was traumatized
by a near car accident 30 years before. She had not driven since. We started
from scratch – empty parking lots, basic right and left turns, gentle braking,
etc. After several months of practicing together, she was able to drive herself
to her family’s house, doctor’s appointments, and work! Driving herself back
and forth to work was a major milestone, giving her a newfound sense of freedom
and opening up her world. She was no longer dependent on her coworkers and
friends for rides. For weeks after she relearned how to drive, she kept
thanking me for giving her confidence to overcome her fears that had been
haunting her for the past 30 years.
Then there was the young lady who
had just graduated from high school. She had a couple months of vacation before
beginning seminary in Israel. As we practiced driving, she demonstrated
telltale signs of high anxiety. Whenever she rounded a corner, she went into
panic attack mode. As a result, we experienced a couple of minor accidents
together. I told her that she shouldn’t feel pressured. She insisted that she
had to continue with the lessons so as not to disappoint her mother. I ended up
intervening. Discussing the situation with her mother, the mother meekly asked,
“Oh, you figured out her diagnosis?” Using my best psychiatric nurse manner, I
replied, yes. I asked her to please stop pressuring her daughter, as that would
only exacerbate her anxiety and panic attacks. Her mother agreed. I gave a huge
sigh of relief as we discontinued our lessons.
I will never forget the day my
daughter passed her driving test. My husband took her to the MVA because I was
working. I must have been with a patient, and so he left a message with our
unit social worker. When I was free for a minute, she approached me gently.
With concern mixed with pity in her voice, she looked me straight in the eye
and said, “Your husband called. He wants you to know that your daughter
passed.” I whooped with joy! The social worker stared at me in shock. It was
then that I realized that her understanding of “passed” was very different from
mine.
Al Pi Darko
We are taught that we must teach a
child according to his or her way. With that in mind, here are various
scenarios you might encounter with different types of children.
If your child asks, “Should I get
my license the day I turn 15 and nine months, or somewhere within that week?” you
need to find out if her 15.75 birthday is on a weekday or the weekend. If it’s
a weekday, she should go for that date.
Another child might demand rather
than ask. She might insist that she needs to get her license at age 14-and-a-half
simply because all her friends were doing that. If that’s the case, you
will need to hide any spare keys to the car and lock them up in the closet
where you keep loaded guns.
A third child might not ask to
drive at all. In that case, leave her alone. Remember, no pressure. Sooner
or later, she will either ask you when you think she should drive, or demand
that you teach her immediately. You need to deal with her as you see fit.
I am currently “pre-teaching” my
grandchildren how to drive. I want them to feel confident when they embark on
their driving career. Some call me ambitious, some call me intrepid, and some
call me plain crazy. Whatever my nom de plume, I am thoroughly enjoying
myself.
Here are a few pointers when
teaching your child to drive:
·
Make sure your child is
looking far down the road when driving and not just looking over the hood.
·
Have your child be familiar
with buying gas. This is a very important skill and takes about five minutes to
learn, which are included in the 60 hours.
·
Take a clue from the “Waze
lady”: Give instructions ahead of time and repeat them as you go. “We are going
to make a right at the light,” As you come closer to the light, say, “Now we
are going to make a right.”
·
Above all, be aware that
this is bonding time. Do your best to relax, exude calm, and build confidence.
With
confidence in the right measure, you will see your child drive and thrive.
For questions
about driving, feel free to shoot me a text at 443-562-5440.
