Sara Levin* is a spunky 8th grader who attends the local Bais Yaakov. Her father is a lawyer and her mother is a professional organizer and party planner. Sara is the youngest child in a large family. It has always been the goal of Sara’s parents to raise fiscally responsible children, and for the most part, all six of Sara’s siblings are prudent with their money and make educated decisions about it. How did Sara’s parents accomplish this? Let’s use a small example to illustrate how Sara’s parents have helped her be fiscally responsible.
When Sara and her siblings,
after 6th grade, received birthday money or Chanukah gelt, the money was deposited into a
fee-free bank account that had a debit card. The money was not put into a piggy
bank where it could be frivolously spent, nor was it put into a savings account
with little or no access to the money. Sara was given a debit card, and her
parents explained that her money was in a bank account. Any time she wanted to
use her money for an ice cream cone, the latest fad, or a gift, Sara would
swipe her debit card. She understood that every time she swiped her debit card,
money was being deducted from her account. On a monthly basis her parents would
show Sara her statement, which included her deposits and withdrawals. Sara
clearly understood how much money she had in her account and what she was able
to spend. Additionally, her parents helped her work on the mathematical
equation of the percent of deposits made that she should give to
tzedaka. Sara’s parents then helped guide her to what options she had in
giving tzedaka and how to best deliver it to the organization, whether in
person, by mail or online.
There are a few things we can
learn from this example. First, Sara’s parents made a concentrated effort to
instruct Sara and her siblings about money. Second, Sara’s parents also took
concrete steps to teach Sara about money in a very practical way. I know Sara
and her parents personally. It seems that this method worked for Sara and her
siblings. Will it work for your children?
Each child and each family is
different, however your children will learn about money even if you aren’t
deliberately teaching them. Children learn by example. Playing a key role in
shaping your children’s thinking about money usually translates into taking a
very active role in giving them the gift of financial literacy. Here are a few
lessons that may work for you and your family.
Modeling Good Financial Behavior
Money and a working knowledge
of financial literacy are central to our everyday lives and affect so many
of our day-to-day decisions. Money dictates where we live, what clothing we
wear, how we decorate our living space, and what foods we serve our children.
Modeling good financial behavior is paramount in helping our children
understand financial values. Do you want your children to develop good spending
and saving habits? Do you want them to understand the value of money? Do your
children hear you complain about not having enough money but then see you spend
money on yet another pair of Tory Burch shoes or an expensive silk tie added to
the burgeoning collection in your closet? When a
tzedaka collector comes to your door, how do you greet them? Do your
children see that you offer them a drink and welcome them into your home,
whether you are giving one dollar or a hundred? Think about what
message you are subliminally sending your children.
The lesson: Show
your children that you are being consistently responsible with both saving and
spending money.
Setting Boundaries
Going to the zoo for Chol
Hamoed? Do you let your children stop at the gift shop and purchase that
adorable stuffed giraffe or keychain as a tangible memory from their trip? Establish
specific rules before the trip begins. Children want to know what to expect and
anticipate. Children really don’t want surprises. Rules should be very simple
and straightforward: No purchases will be made on Chol Hamoed trips, including
mementos or trinkets from the gift shop, and no purchasing soda, water, or
snacks from snack vendors. When children, from the oldest to the
youngest, know and understand these rules at the outset, there is less chance
of a tantrum at the gift shop. All family members are happy because everyone
understands that the priority of the trip is to have a good time, enjoy each
others company and make beautiful family memories. Period.
The
lesson: Set boundaries with your
children.
Saving Money
Did your child receive money
for Chanukah or for their birthday? Talk to him about what he is going to do
with it. Is he saving it for a scooter? Does he have enough to buy one? Did he
spend their money on a baseball mitt and bat and now don’t have the extra money
for the scooter? Or did he fritter it away on Slurpees and other junk? This is
really a teachable moment.
Lesson: Saving money teaches children
goal setting, discipline, and delayed gratification.
Skip Retail Therapy
Ahhh, retail therapy. It’s the
term for shopping with the intent of improving our bad, sad, depressed, and
stress-filled moods. Stop inviting your kids to go shopping – just to shop. Stroll
through the mall, window shopping and pining for different Yom Tov shoes or a
different headband, teaches the wrong lesson. It teaches your children that
there is always something better than what they already have. Shopping should
be done when something is absolutely needed. Instead, take a walk with
your kids, bake a babka, learn a new game, shmooze with the neighbors, or find
another activity to bond with your children and improve your mood.
Lesson:
Shopping should not be a leisure activity
for families.
Less is More
Less really is more. How many
toys, books, Legos, art supplies, cars, games, dolls, and balls fill our
playroom shelves? How many skirts, dresses, sweaters, and pairs of shoes fill
our teenage daughter’s closets? Do we really need all of it? Without all the
stuff that has accumulated in our houses, we can focus on what is really
important in our lives: building relationships, being productive, and saving
our landfills by not purchasing unnecessary items.
Lesson: Living with less stuff shows
our children that it is not the material things in life that really matter.
I hope that one of these
suggestions will be helpful for you and your family. The goal is to teach our
children financial awareness so they can avoid many mistakes that lead to poor
money decisions and lifelong money struggles. Financial literacy, like building
a house, lays a foundation for your children to build strong money habits early
on. Educating your children about money and financial behavior is a process
that takes time and consistency. Practice what you preach, and your kids will
learn good habits about money. You are setting the tone in your house as to
what is important and what is not. Focus on the important things in life –
which, after all, aren’t things at all.
Rivka
Resnik has developed a Life Skills curriculum for high school students. For
more information on the curriculum, coaching, or the Kosher Money Podcast
please contact info@livingsmarterjewish.org.
*
Name and identifying information have been changed.
