Summer is coming
to a close (how quickly the seasons change), and children will soon don their
backpacks, filled with pristine notebooks and newly sharpened pencils, and head
out the door. What are their thoughts and hopes – and what are those of their
parents and teachers? If last year was a successful one, they anticipate more
happy times. If last year was a disaster, they hope this year will be better. But
all of them, all of us – parents,
teachers, and kids – wonder what they can do to make this upcoming year a great
one. Here are some insights and ideas from children, teachers, parents.
Kids and Former Kids
When it comes to
the activity that takes up most of their days, children definitely have their
opinions. I asked four school age children how they would improve school. They
suggested more extracurricular activities like music and art. They said that
teachers shouldn’t have favorites or act nicer to kids who dress in fancier
clothing. And they wanted school to end school earlier with less school in the
summer.
A few former
children also remember the good and the bad. One young man said, “School was so
boring and uninteresting to me. One teacher just opened the textbook and read it
to the class. My eyes close just thinking about it! The only bright spot in those
long years were the few teachers who bothered to make their classes pertinent
to us, telling stories and making an effort to make the lesson relevant.”
Another young man
remembers a teacher who didn’t emphasize tests and grades. “This teacher often
did not return test papers – in fact, didn’t give many tests at all. It made me
enjoy school more when I didn’t have to worry about comparing myself to others
and could concentrate on learning lishma (for its own sake).
Yitzchak, who is a
talmid chacham today, credits his success to a rebbe who spent a lot of
time talking to him and encouraging him when he was in high school. “My 12th
grade rebbe convinced me that I had the ability to continue learning and to
become great in Torah. His encouragement really changed my life!”
Insights from Teachers
Leah, a young
teacher who had a difficult time getting her class to cooperate advised, “Please
do not talk about the teachers in front of your children. My students did not
respect me because they picked up vibes from their parents that I was too
young; I finished school not very long ago, and they remember me playing in
their backyard. My students thought that I was a kid myself so why did they
have to listen?”
Chana, a veteran
teacher, would like parents to know these points: “Convey to your child that
the teacher cares and wants the best for her. If the child has that confidence,
she will be able to navigate small crises with more ease. Also, if the classes have been shuffled,
reassure your child that, even though this year will be different, it will be
okay. Make sure your child has something to eat in school. Many children do not
like the school lunch, and if they do not bring anything from home, they are
hungry all day.”
Shoshana, another
veteran teacher, adds, “Share with the teacher right at the beginning of the
year – or even before school starts – if your child has a specific issue that
will affect her learning. For example, if your child has difficulty reading or
is uncomfortable reading out loud, let me know so I will be sensitive to her
problem and not embarrass her. I can also activate the resources that we have
available in the school to help her.”
Parents Weigh In
Penina, a parent,
does just that. “Communication is important!” she said. “If I have specific
concern about my child, and I know the teacher personally, I write a letter the
beginning of the year explaining the child’s personality and strengths and
weaknesses.”
Tzipora agrees on
the importance of communication, “Some of my children are very hard workers,
but their grades do not reflect that. I tell this to the teachers in the
beginning of the year so that they will be more understanding and not think that
my child did not study. I have had many children go through the system already
so our family, with its idiosyncrasies, is well known. If two children get a 65
on a test and one studied for two hours and the other one did not study at all,
it is a dissimilar situation and needs to be treated differently.”
Rivka, a former
teacher and a mother of six school-age children, said emphatically, “I don’t
care about academics. Actual learning is only a small part of school. What’s
important to me is that my child comes home happy and with his self-esteem
intact. Her husband chimed in, “It is very important that every single child,
especially boys, has an enjoyment and a satisfaction in their learning. A boy
who feels like a failure in learning already has one foot out the door of
Yiddishkeit. Even if 90 % of the class is doing great, and only 10% of the
class is floundering, that is unacceptable. The school has to have a system in
place to help the children who are not succeeding even if they require the
parents to pay for the extra help.”
Dovid, who has attended more orientations than he can
count, says, “I wish the teachers would know how foolish it sounds when the
math teacher at the child’s orientation says, “I don’t give a lot of homework;
it usually won’t take more than 10 or 15 minutes a night.” Then we have four
other teachers at the same child’s orientation say the same thing. Doesn’t the
teacher know basic math? Five times 15 minutes doesn’t equal 15 minutes, it
equals an hour and 15 minutes – and that is a lot of homework!”
Advice from a
Grandmother
Toby, a grandparent with many years of experience sending
her children to school, has weathered the good students and the poor students, the
report cards and the teachers’ calls. Her main message to parents is this:
“Whether your child excels or doesn’t is not always significant and doesn’t
foretell the future. The most amazing fifth grader will not necessarily be the
most amazing adult, and the most troublesome tenth grader may still become a
wonderful grown-up. You never know; things can and do change. If you hear great
things about your child, be happy but not complacent. And if you hear bad
things about your child, be concerned but don’t despair!”
Each person’s
journey though the school system is different. Hopefully some of these ideas
will be useful. Most importantly, the new school year is a new beginning, and
like all beginnings, it is a chance to start again. Wishing all Where What When readers a wonderful new
school year.
