Page 90 - issue
P. 90
is meaningless. to her, find one who will. Not every sin- Israel with
You do not write anything about her gle has to follow this new protocol. If Arky Staiman
your shadchan was not comfortable,
tznius, her middos, or her chesed. I am she should have kept it to herself and it’s not just a tour...it’s israel!
sure that she is exemplary in all of not denigrated you. As long as your
these areas, yet you fail to mention daughter feels that she is ready to get call now for fall & winter tours!
them and probably did not tell that to married, there is nothing wrong with
the shadchan either. her calling the shadchan. I would sug- israelwitharky.com
gest that you find shadchanim who 410-216-1020
Now for the shadchan issue. She is think “out of the box” and do not deal
right that in typical yeshiva circles a sin- solely with “cookie cutter” prospects. unforgettable@israelwitharky.com
gle starting out is presented by a par-
ent. But you know what? I am not one Before proceeding further, though,
of those shadchanim! I feel that part of you should sit down with your daughter
the shidduch crisis nowadays is the fact and create a “profile” that she can pres-
that parents are too involved. It never ent to a shadchan. Let her stress all her
used to be like that even in the yeshiva positive attributes and the kind of guy
world. A young man was given a name she really wants – whether it is learning
and pursued it on his own. He called a or working or less mainstream – and
reference – not more than one in those forget about all the other silliness.
days – to find out about the family
background, and that was it. There It would further be in the best inter-
were no pictures and no questions like est of both of you for you to accept your
“what type of tablecloth is on the daughter the way she is and value her
Shabbos table.” All this is silliness and differences. She will find her zivug in
not important in a marriage. the right time no matter who the shad-
chan is and despite the fact that she is
In my opinion, your daughter did the not conventional.
correct thing in advocating for herself,
and the shadchan was wrong to berate I wish you hatzlacha and venachas
you. If this one does not want to speak from your entire family.◆
86 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
You do not write anything about her gle has to follow this new protocol. If Arky Staiman
your shadchan was not comfortable,
tznius, her middos, or her chesed. I am she should have kept it to herself and it’s not just a tour...it’s israel!
sure that she is exemplary in all of not denigrated you. As long as your
these areas, yet you fail to mention daughter feels that she is ready to get call now for fall & winter tours!
them and probably did not tell that to married, there is nothing wrong with
the shadchan either. her calling the shadchan. I would sug- israelwitharky.com
gest that you find shadchanim who 410-216-1020
Now for the shadchan issue. She is think “out of the box” and do not deal
right that in typical yeshiva circles a sin- solely with “cookie cutter” prospects. unforgettable@israelwitharky.com
gle starting out is presented by a par-
ent. But you know what? I am not one Before proceeding further, though,
of those shadchanim! I feel that part of you should sit down with your daughter
the shidduch crisis nowadays is the fact and create a “profile” that she can pres-
that parents are too involved. It never ent to a shadchan. Let her stress all her
used to be like that even in the yeshiva positive attributes and the kind of guy
world. A young man was given a name she really wants – whether it is learning
and pursued it on his own. He called a or working or less mainstream – and
reference – not more than one in those forget about all the other silliness.
days – to find out about the family
background, and that was it. There It would further be in the best inter-
were no pictures and no questions like est of both of you for you to accept your
“what type of tablecloth is on the daughter the way she is and value her
Shabbos table.” All this is silliness and differences. She will find her zivug in
not important in a marriage. the right time no matter who the shad-
chan is and despite the fact that she is
In my opinion, your daughter did the not conventional.
correct thing in advocating for herself,
and the shadchan was wrong to berate I wish you hatzlacha and venachas
you. If this one does not want to speak from your entire family.◆
86 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
