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personalities and learning styles.
Whenever possible, volunteer for
school or class activities, or find other “invisible” issues that make it hard to
ways to show your interest in the class
and your readiness to support the
teacher’s goals. Show respect for the
teacher, including asking for advice and
input.
Beyond these general measures, the
question is, what do you do if an issue
arises that requires advocating for your
child? There are some basic dos and
don’t’s that can help you improve the
situation and avoid making things
worse.
◆◆◆
DO request a time for a meeting;
DON’T try the hit-and-run method of
blurting a problem at dismissal.
Sometimes all you need is a short
meeting between you and the teacher;
at other times you may want a full
meeting that includes all school staff
who interact with your child, as well as
a professional or two, such as the
child’s pediatrician or specialist.
Sometimes a child’s work seems to
indicate a lack of motivation or even
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laziness. This is especially common
with learning disabilities and other
understand why a bright child is doing
substandard work. In such situations,
bringing a professional to the meeting
adds a layer of verisimilitude to your
concerns and ideas. It also means that
your concerns are heard as real issues
rather than as criticism.
Bringing your child’s pediatrician or matter how wonderful, does not bring
counselor to such a meeting offers fur-
ther advantages. Sitting alone – or even her presence can communicate that
with a spouse – facing four-to-six
school personnel can feel very intimi-
dating. Your thoughts and reports can
come across as more emotional than
factual. The professional who accompa-
nies you can advocate for your child in
ways that you may not be able to. In
addition, that trained individual can
process what is being said more objec-
tively and, chances are, respond more
accurately than you can. The profes-
sional you bring can also point out any
flaws in the solutions presented by the
school team or, in many cases, high-
light the pluses of those solutions and
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add to them. In the event the pediatri-
cian or counselor/therapist can’t be
there in person, it’s possible to arrange
his or her presence on the phone and
that can work, as well.
While having a friend accompany
you to a meeting with all involved
school personnel will give you a certain
comfort level, my recommendation is to
resist that temptation. The friend, no
another level of expertise, and his or
you simply don’t have the confidence to
handle such a meeting. It’s important
to show that, even though you recog-
nize and appreciate the expertise of all
the people at the table, you also realize
that as the parent, there are things you
may see and understand that others
don’t.
DO always be positive. Assume the
teacher wants to help and has your
child’s best interest at heart. DON’T
blame or attack the teacher or the
school.
Too often, a parent’s negative
approach results in defensiveness or
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