In my original article, entitled “The Search for a Rebbe,” I presented some of the major qualifications one should seek in a rebbe or rav – namely, someone who elevates the individual, takes a deep personal interest in him, and whose words resonate. I would like to elaborate on the final qualification.

There is a misconception among some people today that the ideal is to become a carbon copy of one’s rebbe. Such students may feel that if the rebbe is holier, wiser, and a greater scholar than them – it follows that the student should lose his own identity and model himself completely after the rebbe. This, however, is a serious mistake.

Rav Naftali Amsterdam, zt”l, asked his great rebbe, Rav Yisrael Salanter, zt”l, “How can I serve Hashem properly? If I had the mind of the Sha’agos Aryeh, the heart of the Mesillas Yesharim, and the rebbe’s middos, I could serve Hashem. But what am I supposed to do in my present state?” Rav Yisrael famously responded, “My dear Naftali, you are mistaken. It is with your mind, your heart, and your middos that you are supposed to serve Hashem!” Each individual is created with his own personality and a specific set of strengths and challenges. He has his own unique mission in the world that only he can fulfill. It is tragic when one doesn’t even realize that he has his own personal mission.

As a therapist and music teacher who has also had her fair share of days as an elementary school teacher, I’ve seen the challenges of technology surge. We educators and parents are constantly faced with questions: How are we to maintain the values learned in yeshiva alive, and how do we keep up with the rush of instant dopamine that the screens all around us provide?

I read a beautiful idea in the Family First article, “Cradle of Innovation.” Rabbi Zweig shares a thought, in the name of the Alexander Rebbe, on the pasuk, “Binu shnos dor v’dor. The Rebbe translates the word shnos as change. In each generation, he says, it is important to note the changes and challenges of that generation and tailor chinuch accordingly. And I marvel at the magnificent job our rebbeim and morahs are doing, racing to keep up with all the innovations in our surroundings, including smartphones, texting, the internet, and WhatsApp.

Today I interviewed Mrs. Rochel Rochkind, a woman of extraordinary strength who is at the foundation of many key Baltimore community moments.

When did your family arrive in Baltimore?

My mother’s parents moved to Baltimore from New York in 1940, so she moved with them.

What was your experience, being part of the first class of Bais Yaakov of Baltimore?

Bais Yaakov was founded in 1942. My grandmother and mother were listening to the Jewish Hour on the radio and heard amazing things about Bais Yaakov. They were so impressed that they decided to send me there for school. My class was the first to go through the whole system, nursery through twelfth grade. We were eight girls. Now, we are all older, and many of us have children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren in Bais Yaakov.

“It’s as though he has died a second time,” the mourner intoned softly to the menachemei aveilim who were gathered around to pay their respects. “We first noticed it when he kept getting lost and had no sense of direction. He continued going downhill, until it got to the point where he didn’t recognize me anymore. That was when I lost my Dad the first time.”

Unfortunately, this sentiment at shiva is very common. Dementia is like a thief that steals the very essence of a person. It can cause an intelligent, talented individual to become a prisoner in his own body. Dementia comes in all stripes and colors, expressing itself in many ways. It doesn’t discriminate against any culture, race, or religion. Victims include prominent figures, such as judges, doctors, and rabbis. According to the NIH, dementia affects four percent of the population by age 75 and 20% by age 85.^[1]

Early Shabbos morning, my husband was walking to shul when he saw four huge deer in front of our neighbor’s house about to cross the street in front of him. He froze, and the deer froze. Waiting for something to happen, my husband stared at them; they stared back. Then he decided that either he would get to shul on time or, G-d forbid, get attacked by a deer. When he shared this story, he made a joke about it, probably to lighten it up for me, by singing “On his way to Daf Yomi, Zaidy gets run over by a deer.” We laughed, but we both knew that this incident wasn’t funny. While we appreciate the sleek beauty of Hashem’s creation and enjoy seeing them in our yard, we know that the free-running deer in our community are causing problems that need to be solved.

Just a few weeks ago, I “bagged” my first deer. Allow me to qualify that. No, I’m not a hunter; I had no intention of taking a deer in any fashion on that day. It was an entirely accidental event. Driving down my street on my way to shul, in the deep darkness just a few minutes before 6 a.m. – a daily modus operandi that permits me to learn for about half an hour before davening begins – a small deer darted in front of my car’s right side. No one, I am convinced, could have averted that deer collision. Still, an awful lot went through my mind as soon as it happened. I assured myself that I had not, chas v’shalom, struck a child; surely, it couldn’t have been a careless and unguarded child running into the street to catch a lost ball. Children simply aren’t out playing at 5:55 a.m., when the only background light is provided by streetlamps. The fact that I had seen a momentary flash of light brown as the collision occurred allowed me to take a first deep breath.

My next thought, while still on my minute-and-a-half ride to shul, was that selichos would be beginning the following week. If ever there was a wake-up call about how our lives hang in the balance, this was it. The notion of taking the life of a larger mammal was truly humbling and unsettling for me. And what is it that our people of yesteryear were supposed to be thinking when they offered a korban for a wrongdoing? That it could/should really have been me lying on the mizbe’ach giving up my life. For all its brevity, this collision surely was a most humbling experience and a kapparah of notable degree. With “only” an $800 car repair to go along with the experience, I must believe that I got off rather easily.

 My husband and I made plans to visit our family’s kevarim, something we actually look forward to each Elul. Mount Moriah is where my paternal grandparents, great-grandparents, and great aunts and uncles are buried. It’s a beautiful place, as cemeteries go, and since it’s close to Newark Airport, we enjoy watching the planes take off and land alongside the freeway where we drive.

The best part is that the cemetery is located an hour or so from Lakewood, which means that we get to spend Shabbos with our precious children and grandchildren. Some of my granddaughters and I have a wonderful tradition which started back when I was a child. In those early childhood years, my father worked long hours and was hardly ever home during the week. In fact, family legend has it that when I was three years old, I didn’t even know who my father was. As the story goes, one day, while my mother was giving me a bath, she named all the people in our family who loved me. When she was up to the second cousins, I stopped and asked her about “that man.” My mother looked at me and said, “What man?” to which I answered innocently, “You know, the man with the glasses who lives here?” My mother incredulously sputtered, “You mean Daddy?”

You run into the store for a gallon of milk and somehow end up with a cart full of groceries. That’s no accident. Stores are designed to make you spend more. From the smell of fresh bread to the way milk is tucked in the back, you are forced to walk past everything else first, picking up “goodies” along the way. But when you understand how the store is designed, you can shop with confidence and keep your grocery bill under control.

Smart grocery shopping does not mean cutting out the foods your family enjoys. It means learning how the store works and making choices that benefit you instead of the marketing team. With simple strategies, you can bring home what you need, skip the extras, and save money.

Two Ways to Start

·         Shop the Outer Loop: The essentials – produce, dairy, bread, and meat – are almost always placed around the edges of the store. Filling most of your cart from these areas keeps you focused on fresh, real foods. It also limits the number of times you pass shelves of packaged snacks that tempt you to overspend.

·         Start with Sales: Instead of planning meals and paying full price for everything, look at what is discounted that week and build from there. If chicken thighs are half off, plan two dinners with them. If apples are on special, add them to snacks and desserts. Letting sales guide your menu automatically lowers your grocery bill.

With Yom Kippur soon approaching, our thoughts turn to the most important fast of the year – and, perhaps, to fasting in general. Although we Jews may be among the few in our secular society to still fast for religious reason, we are not alone in observing religiously mandated fasting. From Ramadan to Lent, in Hinduism and Buddhism, abstaining from food and drink has been a universal practice across cultures and faiths.

What stands out for Judaism’s 25-hour fast on Yom Kippur is the prohibition not just from food but even from water. One might note that in Buddhist practice, only advanced ascetics, under the guidance of an experienced teacher, fast without water for this long. But regardless of the timing or severity, the goal of religious fasting is not punishment but purification: a way to turn inward, reflect on one’s life, and reconnect with G-d. 

In the wake of October 7, pro-Palestinian demonstrations and encampments erupted in universities around the country. They often devolved into antisemitism, where Jewish students were attacked, intimidated, and feared going to class. The Trump administration began an investigation of 60 universities under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act for failing to address antisemitism on campus and failing to protect Jewish students. And in January 2025, President Trump issued an executive order on antisemitism that expanded federal oversight and threatened to withdraw federal grants. While some universities, such as Columbia, Brown, and the University of California, complied with the order, Harvard refused and took the administration to court.

Among the accusations lodged at Harvard by the government were tolerance of antisemitism on campus, consideration of race in admissions, DEI (diversity) training, and allowing transgender athletes to play on teams with players of the opposite gender. Although the Trump administration has gone after many universities and colleges for the same things, Harvard’s $53 billion in endowments and large share of research awards has made it a prime target for Trump.

Days after Harvard commenced litigation against the federal government, Agudath Israel of America issued a statement chiding the school for focusing its energy on fighting Trump rather than combating antisemitism. Agudath Israel thanked the government for its moral clarity and principled stance on the issue, even as Harvard chose to fight the administration wholesale rather than taking steps to reform or rectify the situation. According to the Agudah, “Federal funding will be tied up, research will be halted, and Jewish students will remain less protected as the case wends its way through the courts.” Instead, reforms were needed to make Jewish students feel safe on camp