As I wrote last year, Pesach is very different here in Israel. The war brought us many challenges, and I will try and give you my perspective from the ground. During the early days of the war, no one was allowed outside due to the constant flow of missiles from Iran. In conjunction with the Chief Rabbinate of Israel, there were no minyanim allowed due to pikuach nefesh. Shuls were shuttered, and any other sort of gatherings were not allowed. After about seven to ten days, Home Front command allowed gatherings of 50 people, so neighborhoods such as ours had a minyan in an underground parking garage, in our case because of its proximity to a shelter.
Originally,
my wife and I were planning on visiting my mother in Baltimore in early March
on the way to our grandson’s bar-mitzva in New Jersey a couple weeks later. We were
hoping to spend time with our children in the States as well as with my
siblings and friends, whom we miss very much. But Hashem had other plans. Our
flight to America was cancelled on numerous occasions, and by the time we got a
flight to leave 10 days later, our travel became extremely problematic. One of
the personal casualties of this war was both of us having to watch our grandson’s
bar mitzva siyum via Zoom.
Once
shuls were allowed to re-open for the chag, we were limited to 50 people
davening in the shul’s shelter. Friday, April 10th, was the first
day since late February that we were able to have a minyan with full
participation in shul. During the restricted days, minyanim were done on a
first-come-first-served basis
sign-up sheet. My wife, feeling she did not have an obligation to daven with a
minyan – even though she does
so every week – felt that signing up was not appropriate if it took away space
from someone who was obligated to daven. She settled for Yizkor at home.
The
streets were void of tourists, and it was obvious everywhere. Hotels opened
right before Pesach for Israelis, along with the few-and-far-between people who
were lucky enough to get a flight to Israel. I have to admit how personally
disheartening it was to hear about people rushing to leave Israel – traveling
10 hours to Egypt or traveling through Jordan to head back to America for the
Chag Ha’geula.
Forget the horror stories you may have heard or the fact that Pesach celebrates
us leaving Mitzrayim to be here in Eretz Yisrael. It was people saying
they didn’t
want to be “stuck” in Israel, or parents saying their children were “stuck” in Israel that made me wonder, what we are doing?
How can any Jew say they are “stuck” in Israel?
I
get it. People want their children home for Pesach. I don’t begrudge them that, and I totally
understand, but to me, this is a major teaching point for parents about who we
are and what we truly believe in. I wonder how Hashem “felt”
when He saw His children rush to leave His land. Yes, it is difficult not to be
with family for Pesach. I live with it every day, not only every chag.
But in my opinion – and only my opinion – something about it just doesn’t
feel right. I would apologize if I felt what I am writing here is disturbing to
people, but that would not be genuine. Something about it just seemed – I don’t
even have the words – maybe off?
* * *
I wrote
something for our son to say on our behalf at the bar mitzva on Shabbos, and I want to excerpt a
piece of it here because it changed my perspective forever, and maybe it will
help you in some way.
“Your Savti and I are very sorry we have not been able to
be with you this week. Our plans were altered by the enemies of our people, and
though it has taken me some time to get over my disappointment to not hear you
read from the Torah or spend time with you, I read something recently that a
friend of mine wrote, and I want to share it with you. Decades ago, I worked
for a great man and great friend, Rabbi Yitzchak Lowenbraun, when I was
employed by NCSY. During his last year or so, he was dealing with a terminal
illness and knew he had limited time left on this earth. Because of various
factors, including restrictions during Covid, he was going to be having his
Pesach Seder alone and not with his many children and grandchildren. My friend
asked him how he was going to deal with not having anyone around him for the
Seder, and his response helped me deal with our absence at your bar mitzva this
week. In truth, it’s very simple but it’s the way he said it that struck me, and it is something
I want you to listen to. He said, “I am exactly where
Hashem wants me to be.
“The
last three weeks Savti and I have said, Hashem has a plan and there must be a
reason we are not in America for your bar mitzva. But what Rabbi Lowenbraun
said was different. It was the ultimate acknowledgment – not a we-don’t-know-the-reason-but-I-guess-we-will-find-out moment – but, instead, it is an I-don’t-need-to-try-and-figure-it-out-because-I-am-exactly-where-Hashem-wants-
me-to-be. No wondering, no trying to think about “why
us?” or “what a pity” – just, I am where Hashem wants me to be.
“Years
ago, it was Rabbi Lowenbraun who saved my life. Full stop. He was a mentor and
a spiritual guide for me and my family, and even years after his death, he is
still teaching me. This is how a Jew reacts. To know that you are exactly where
Hashem wants you to be. There is no need to try and figure out why me… maybe I
could have… maybe I should have. A true eved Hashem knows.”
* * *
Pesach
did have the added benefit of frequent trips to the mamad, our safe room, but all in all, this
Pesach was unique – and safe.
On some days/nights, we headed to the safe room six or seven times, but the
average was more like two or three times a night. The booms on top of us
sometimes shook our building, but for the most part, the sirens were
simply loud and, if we weren’t so used to it, I would say they were annoying. Some
people might think it was terrifying. We did not. Like the constant sounds of Israeli
Air Force jets above us at all hours of the day and night, eventually the booms
were simply the background noise of the show that Hashem was putting on for His
people day after day. What follows below are thoughts I wrote down about a week
or so before Pesach. Maybe it will give you some insight into our perspective
here, and I hope it helps you understand what we are living through and why
most people here don’t really care what the world outside has to say. We
know better.
This
is what I wrote in the midst of the war:
It is a few hours before Shabbat here
in Jerusalem. Last night, we were interrupted two times before midnight and
once after amidst five Iranian ballistic missile barrages fired within an hour.
As of this morning, there are no reports of injuries or deaths. We are
privileged to see the hand of G-d at work every single moment of every single
day here in this holy land.
So today I am going
to take a pause in my normal writing and do what we all should do every day. It
is estimated they have sent anywhere between 300 to 500 ballistic missiles in
total since the beginning of this war two weeks ago. Sadly, I believe we have
lost 16 citizens to these attacks, most of whom were not in a protected space
or were in a makeshift one that was not built for these kinds of events. These
deaths are tragic. The death of one Jewish person is like destroying an entire
world. Everyone in Israel is brokenhearted over this loss of life, but no one
has shaken off their resolve. Israelis know why this has to be done. It is for
our children and our grandchildren’s grandchildren. The consensus here is this war does not
end until we destroy all our enemies so that what happened 30 months ago, on
October 7, 2023, never happens again. To accomplish that, we need to get rid of
the head of the snake. Iran.
I
can only imagine how frustrating it is for Iran and its proxies to know their
rockets, drones ,and missiles, while inflicting damage on the country, have yet
to accomplish their main goal which is to wipe Israel off the face of the
earth. I don’t
believe they ever considered just how many of their weapons would end up in a
field somewhere instead of killing as many Jews as possible, and it must be
driving them crazy. Well, those who are still alive, of course, and I pray
their exasperation has no limit.
* * *
When
I think of the confluence of events that brought us to this place in time, it
simply boggles the mind. Therefore, I need to publicly acknowledge the
incredible miracles and wonders of the Guardian of Israel. Make no mistake: The
IDF and the IAF as well as all the missile defenses we have here, the Mossad,
the entire apparatus including the Prime Minister, deserve all the credit for
what they have accomplished. But I think everyone in the country knows that
nothing they do happens without the guidance and help from Hashem. I do not
have the requisite skills to say what I want to say. In light of that, I will
let the words of the Jewish Shabbos prayer Nishmas Kol Chai (the Soul of Every Living Thing) speak for me
as I am unable to encapsulate my feeling of gratitude to Him any better than
this.
Were our mouth as full of song as the
sea, and our tongue as full of joyous song as its multitude of waves, and our
lips as full of praise as the breadth of the heavens, and our eyes as brilliant
as the sun and the moon, and our hands as outspread as the eagles of the sky
and our feet as swift as hinds – we still could not thank You sufficiently,
Hashem, our G-d, and G-d of our forefathers, and to bless Your Name for even
one of the thousands and thousands of thousands and myriad myriads of favors,
miracles and wonders that you performed for our ancestors and for us.
I
speak for myself when I say I understand this moment very clearly. What we are
going through is truly biblical. Our prophets warned us thousands of years ago
about this very moment in time, and while the Catholic Church and the Muslims
continue to deny our relationship with Hashem, we know better.
But now says the L-rd that created
you, O Jacob, and He that formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have
redeemed you, I have called you by your name, you are Mine… You are My
witnesses, said the L-rd, and My servant whom I have chosen;
that you may know and believe Me, and understand that I am He; before Me there
was no G-d formed, neither shall any be after Me. (Isaiah 43)
* * *
Yesterday,
I was made aware of a post by a well-meaning woman who said her heart was
breaking for the Land, which has had to endure much of the pounding from our
enemies. As soon as I heard that, I had an almost visceral response. The Land
is not to be pitied. On the contrary. It has waited thousands of years for her
people to return, and now that we have come home, she is protecting us with
power, pride, and strength. The Land of Israel takes the blows meant for her
inhabitants and brushes them off with a chuckle. As the prophets declared, she
has opened up for her children, and together they have turned her once
desolate, barren landscape into the magnificent and majestic sight it was
destined to be.
Hashem,
our G-d, and G-d of our forefathers, it is Your hand at work, and I want You to
know I recognize all of this even when I cannot see it in front of my eyes. I
know I am not alone. Those of us here with You in the land and our people
around the world know it is all You. It is You who has brought us back home,
You who has comforted us in our sorrow, You who has enabled our strength, and
You for whom even these words cannot suffice. The great sage Rabbi Levi
Yitzchak of Berdichev said
all this far better than I am able to:
Master of the Cosmos!
I want to sing a little song for you.
You, You, You,
You You —
Where shall I seek you? And where
shall I not seek you?
Where can I find you? And where can I not find you?
You, You, You,
Oy, if I go – You!
If I stay – You!
Only You. Always You.
Here: You. There: You
When it’s good – You.
[When it is] Heaven forbid, bad – Oy,
You;
In the east: You. In the west: You.
In the north: You. In the south: You!
You, You, You,
In the Heavens: You. On Earth: You.
Above: You. Below: You!
You, You, You,
Where I turn to, And where do I return
to?
You – You!
* * *
I
can only speak for myself when I say I do not deserve any of the blessings You
have given me. I do not know what I have ever done for the privilege of living
here in Your holy land. I don’t know what I have ever done to have been given a wife
and children/grandchildren, ka”h, as spectacular as You have given me. I
can never repay You for all that You have given me. It is only by Your mercy
and grace that I have anything at all.
I
truly could not go another day without acknowledging what You have done for our
people. You have sustained us just as You promised our grandfathers. Our
enemies have changed over millennia, and we, Your people, have seen them all
come and go. But the one constant through all of that Hashem, is You. You, You,
You!
Thank
You, Hashem for everything. My words are so very limited. I am truly
embarrassed, and I apologize for not being able to do You justice.
Nevertheless, the wheels of history continue to churn, and none of it happens
without You. Thank You for allowing me to live at this time and to witness what
I am seeing as it unfolds. I truly am at a loss for words as You can obviously
see. My love for You, Hashem, is overwhelming. Though these words are limited
and insufficient, they are heartfelt and overflowing with gratitude and
appreciation. Please accept them from a child of Yours who just wants to be
close to You.
You
have opened the gates of heaven for Your people, and we are in awe of every
moment of every day for we know You are here with us.
To
You alone we give thanks.
