Everyone enjoys a shidduch
story, and the Where What When has asked me to start off their new column
with a few of my shidduch experiences
over the past many years. The new column, “Dating Perspectives,” will take
the place of “Ask the Shadchan” and will feature a different writer each month.
The couples in the stories below may recognize themselves,
but readers will not. They will, however, hopefully be entertained.
Different Neighborhoods
I made my
first shidduch over 60 years ago,
before I was married. I had come to New York from my home in Cleveland and
was living in Williamsburg. In those days, most girls who lived “out of town” –
that is, anyplace that was not New York – came to the Big Apple in hopes of
meeting someone. I worked in an office during the day and attended Bais Yaakov
night seminary. Bais Yaakov in Williamsburg was the only seminary for girls in
the country, and the night seminary was for the working girls.
An
interesting tidbit from my seminary days: Some of the girls would wear short
sleeves, not knowing the tznius
standards at Bais Yaakov, but they soon found out. One of the rebbes, a sweet
and kind man, sat in the front of the class and intoned, three times, “Es iz mir kalt. es iz mir kalt, es iz mir
kalt” (I am cold) while waving his hands over his arms. The girls got the
point, and it made such an impression that I don’t think any of us have
forgotten the rebbe to this day.
I met a lovely girl in my classes, and we
became very friendly. She was looking for a shidduch,
of course, and little did I know that I would be the one to make it, launching
my new “career” at the same time.
It happened like this: In those days, young men
also came to New York to date. The trip was pretty expensive so, unlike today,
they might go out with more than one girl during their three- or four-day stay.
One time, a family member came to New York to date a certain girl, but it did
not work out. I said to him, “I think I have a shidduch for you; while you are here, you can take her out.” Lo
and behold, it turned out that they were from the same remote city. They lived
in different neighborhoods and had never had the occasion to meet. They went
out, and, as they say, the rest is history.
A Home Run
Years later, we were living in Baltimore, and a
young lady – she was about 25 – used to frequent our house a lot. She was
interested in meeting someone. She was very tall and needed a tall guy. One day,
my neighbor said, “I have someone I would like you to meet; can I send him over
to you?” I said, “Sure, why not?” I cracked up when I met him because I
just immediately felt that this was the right guy for this young lady. He was
very tall, and everything about him seemed perfect for her. He wanted to
meet her, but he had “cold feet” and never asked her out. Finally, she took
matters into her own hands. She said to me, “Mrs. Katz I’m having a World
Series party, and I’m going to invite him.” Amazingly, he came – and once he
came, he came and he came. Well, that was the beginning of a very happy
ending. They started dating and eventually tied the knot.
Good Bones
My husband and I worked in kiruv for many years. One of our college students was a very frum girl attending a local university,
where she was studying to be a doctor. She was going for quite a while with
a frum guy at the school. Then they
broke up. She came to me devastated and asked, “Where am I going to find
another frum guy in college?” I said
to her, “Don’t worry. If it’s bashert,
it will happen.”
Not long after that, a man whose shidduch I had made called me and said
he had a friend in law school. Could he bring him over? I met the young man,
who had just come back from Eretz Yisrael, from Machon Shlomo. He was a good
looking guy with long peyus and an unkempt
beard. I asked him, “Would you go out with a doctor?” He said, “Why not?” Right
away, I said, “I have a shidduch for
you.” Then I called the young woman and said, “I just met your chassan.” They started dating, and sure
enough it was a shidduch!
Postscript: A funny thing happened once they
got married. She was studying medicine and had to bring home bones to study,
but he was a kohen, so he had to leave the house until she was finished
studying the bones. All’s well that ends well. She is a doctor, and he is a
lawyer, and, b’H, they are now
grandparents.
* * *
I hope you enjoyed these stories. Each shidduch has its own mazal, and one
never knows from where the basherter
will come. For all of you who are in the parsha and sometimes become frustrated, know that your zivug might be right around the corner
and will suddenly appear out of nowhere. Remember, Hashem is the true shadchan, and one never knows what He
has planned for you.
I wish hatzlacha
to all of you in the parsha and hope
you will find your bashert very soon.
Have a wonderful Purim!
The Where What
When welcomes our readers – whether shadchan, single, parent, or rav – to contribute to our new column, “Dating
Perspectives.” Please email us at
adswww@aol.com.
