Page 72 - issue
P. 72
JDITATTEINRGS by Shira Alt
n my role as a dating mentor, I often encounter
singles with the “dating jitters.” One young lady,
Rina, typified this dilemma. About to go out on
a first date with a guy she was really excited
about, she worried that her nervousness would
ruin things. She has had dating experiences in
Ithe past where she couldn’t figure out the right
things to say and how to answer her date’s
questions in a way he would find interesting. Her
worry about what he would think often led her to
give one-word answers and come off as boring.
“How can I relax,” said Rina, “if I know the person
I am with is scrutinizing me and every word I say,
and any wrong move on my part could just end
everything.” Rina wanted advice on how to be
more interesting and less anxious.
The first thing I did was to reassure Rina that
feeling nervous on dates is very common. (I hear it
from my clients all the time.) In fact, the guy she is
dating may very well be feeling nervous, too!
Dating is a vulnerable place to be. For all sin-
gles, the more confident you feel and the more you
accept yourself, both your strengths and weakness-
es, the more comfortable you will be meeting new
people. One way to boost your self-esteem is to
identify your strengths and find ways to use them
64 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
n my role as a dating mentor, I often encounter
singles with the “dating jitters.” One young lady,
Rina, typified this dilemma. About to go out on
a first date with a guy she was really excited
about, she worried that her nervousness would
ruin things. She has had dating experiences in
Ithe past where she couldn’t figure out the right
things to say and how to answer her date’s
questions in a way he would find interesting. Her
worry about what he would think often led her to
give one-word answers and come off as boring.
“How can I relax,” said Rina, “if I know the person
I am with is scrutinizing me and every word I say,
and any wrong move on my part could just end
everything.” Rina wanted advice on how to be
more interesting and less anxious.
The first thing I did was to reassure Rina that
feeling nervous on dates is very common. (I hear it
from my clients all the time.) In fact, the guy she is
dating may very well be feeling nervous, too!
Dating is a vulnerable place to be. For all sin-
gles, the more confident you feel and the more you
accept yourself, both your strengths and weakness-
es, the more comfortable you will be meeting new
people. One way to boost your self-esteem is to
identify your strengths and find ways to use them
64 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
