Page 70 - issue
P. 70
SHADCHANASKTHE I have been thinking of going to a
BY MASHE KATZ shadchan on my own and not telling
my parents until I meet someone I’m
To the Shadchan: to start dating, that I am ready and do serious about, but that is sneaky and
not want to wait. Their answer was that would be hurtful to them. I love and
Iam 21 and in school for my masters in our family the younger does not get respect my parents, but I think they are
degree. I work hard and also find married before the older. living in the past and holding me back.
time for chesed and for fun. My
friends are almost all married, but I I see that other girls do get married Please don’t tell me to discuss it
have not been out on even one before their older siblings. And consid- with a rabbi, because I am not close
date. The problem is that I have two ering how hard shidduchim are these with one. I would like some advice on
unmarried older sisters and a days, I want to get started. I have hint- how to start with or without my par-
brother ahead of me. I know that ed as much to my older sisters, and it ents’ help.
people have called my parents about doesn’t seem to bother them. I don’t
me, but they tell everyone that I am not know when I will meet my bashert, but YThe Shadchan Answers:
dating yet. I told my parents that I want if I don’t go out, I never will. our question brings up a very
important and difficult issue.
Years ago, it was the way of the
world, especially in the shtetlach
of Europe, for parents to not per-
mit the younger children to get
married before the older ones.
However, things were very differ-
ent in those days. We are now living in
the 21st century, and times have
changed, unfortunately, in both the
frum and outside worlds.
Your parents must come to realize
that men in our frum community tend
62 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
BY MASHE KATZ shadchan on my own and not telling
my parents until I meet someone I’m
To the Shadchan: to start dating, that I am ready and do serious about, but that is sneaky and
not want to wait. Their answer was that would be hurtful to them. I love and
Iam 21 and in school for my masters in our family the younger does not get respect my parents, but I think they are
degree. I work hard and also find married before the older. living in the past and holding me back.
time for chesed and for fun. My
friends are almost all married, but I I see that other girls do get married Please don’t tell me to discuss it
have not been out on even one before their older siblings. And consid- with a rabbi, because I am not close
date. The problem is that I have two ering how hard shidduchim are these with one. I would like some advice on
unmarried older sisters and a days, I want to get started. I have hint- how to start with or without my par-
brother ahead of me. I know that ed as much to my older sisters, and it ents’ help.
people have called my parents about doesn’t seem to bother them. I don’t
me, but they tell everyone that I am not know when I will meet my bashert, but YThe Shadchan Answers:
dating yet. I told my parents that I want if I don’t go out, I never will. our question brings up a very
important and difficult issue.
Years ago, it was the way of the
world, especially in the shtetlach
of Europe, for parents to not per-
mit the younger children to get
married before the older ones.
However, things were very differ-
ent in those days. We are now living in
the 21st century, and times have
changed, unfortunately, in both the
frum and outside worlds.
Your parents must come to realize
that men in our frum community tend
62 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
