Page 114 - issue

once read about a mother still losing
sleep over her middle-aged children?
She’d poo-pooed it at the time (it had
been in some “I love you, Mom” book
Rusi had bought for her thirty-sixth
birthday), but today she realized how
true it was.
Rusi might not be a teenager any-
more, but Chana had certainly lost
plenty of sleep worrying about her
future.
“You mean he actually told you that
he recommends the diet coke for you?
I can imagine why you’re saying no.
These are things you really can’t know
about before.”
Definitely not a teenager anymore.
Conversations with Rusi had become
more and more strained as Rusi
nudged her to arrange her dates.
Chana was pleased that her second
cousin’s suggestion seemed to be a
good one. The boy’s side had already
agreed to a date, but Chana still want-
ed to check things out with one more
reference.
Chana’s own phone rang suddenly,
and Heidi Fine’s number appeared on
the caller id.
“Hi, Chana. About the job I men-
tioned to you the other day.”
“I’m interested in hearing more
details,” Chana said quickly, before she
could rethink her decision.
There was a silence on the other
end of the line as Heidi seemed to
process this piece of information.
“Actually, the job was filled. It seems my up and you actually said yes?”
husband had promised it to one of his
worker’s sisters who recently became
unemployed. I didn’t know that when I
spoke to you, or I obviously wouldn’t
have mentioned anything.”
A part of Chana wanted to wave the
issue away and say, “It’s okay, I’m not
interested in working anyway.” But now,
after that frustrating phone call to
Grosshammer’s, she wasn’t so sure.
After all, there was only so much longer
before their savings dried up, and who
knew when this policy would come
through.
Chana forced a smile onto her face
and into her voice. “It’s okay. Thank you
for thinking of me, and if you do hear of
another job, please keep me in mind.”
106 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
“You’re planning on working?”
Chana ended the call and turned to
see Rusi standing in the doorway.
“I’m thinking of it. Why?”
Rusi shook her head. “Nothing. I
think it’s a good idea. It’s just that,
well… You never worked.”
“I did used to work,” Chana said
pointedly. Then she laughed at herself.
“Before I got married and had you and
Efrayim.”
Rusi laughed too, and it felt so good
to laugh with her daughter, to melt the
barriers created by the whole shidduch
parasha.
“You’re lucky that you never needed
to work,” Rusi said, more seriously.
“Lots of people wish that they could live
like you.”
Chana considered her daughter’s
words, thinking of some of her working
friends and the pressures that they
faced. They had probably envied her
before…before she’d become a widow.
But Chana wouldn’t express that
thought to her daughter. It was enough
that Rusi was mourning the loss of her
father; she didn’t need her mother’s
sadness weighing her down as well.
Seemingly oblivious to her mother’s
raging emotions, Rusi said, “I wouldn’t
mind working eight hours a day if it
meant I could support a husband in
learning.”
Chana wondered what type of job
Rusi would find for eight hours a day in
her chosen field of holistic medicine,
but all she said was, “You just might
find what you’re looking for one of
these days.”
Rusi jumped at the clue. “Like this
week maybe?”
Chana nodded and Rusi jumped to
hug her. “Ooooh. You mean a boy came
Chana decided to forget about call-
ing that last reference. The boy’s side
had said yes. Why hold the date back
from her daughter? She could always
finish her fact checking after the first
date, if both sides agreed to meet again.
Chana looked up at the wall. A pic-
ture of Nosson and herself on their
wedding day stared down at her. Their
wedding had been full of such hope for
the future. If only she could give that to reproachful, “you haven’t been listening
her daughter.
Chana looked back down at her
daughter and saw her shining eyes. She
nodded.
Rusi let out a whoop of excitement.
◆◆◆
“Yes, Faigy. I hear what you’re saying.
Five years of kollel in Israel might make
the couple want to live there perma-
nently, but I don’t understand why you
think that’s such a bad idea.”
Chana adjusted the phone receiver to
her ear and shook a lock of her sheitel
out of her eyes as she looked up at the
wall clock. 9:55. Her friends always
laughed at her habit of wearing a sheit-
el even indoors, but she liked the ele-
gant feeling the wig added to her day.
Aside from when she slept, she very
rarely wore a tichel. You never knew who
might come knocking on your door.
Of course, tonight’s knock on the
door was planned, which was why she
had her eye on the clock in the first
place.
“They might end up hating the
lifestyle too,” Faigy was saying. “I would-
n’t put it past Leah’le to come back
after only a week in a one-room apart-
ment without a dryer. Which is why I’m
so nervous about this plan to begin
with.”
Chana sighed. Her sister was as dif-
ferent from her as black was from
white, but they managed to get along
just fine most of the time. Faigy liked to
talk and Chana liked to listen, and
their respective character traits domi-
nated most of their phone conversa-
tions.
Today, though, Chana just couldn’t
stay focused. She looked up at the
clock again. 10:02. Rusi had been gone
for just over two hours.
“Chana,” Faigy said, her tone
to a word, have you? What’s the matter,
is Rusi out on a date or something?”
Chana felt a small stab at her sister’s
words. Faigy knew her too well to be
fooled. But Chana didn’t believe it was
right to tell her sister anything. Not on
a first date. She liked to keep private
issues private, and her sister knew that
by now.
She laughed.