My relationship with Rav Yosef Ber Soloveichik of Boston was somewhat different from that of his talmidim. He had two main groups of talmidim; those who saw themselves as part of the Modern Orthodox world and who had studied under him at Yeshiva University, and those from the yeshiva world at large who, predominantly but not exclusively, studied under him during the summer months in Boston. Many of the latter had also attended his shiurim at YU somewhat clandestinely.

Many years ago, on a family trip to Boston, we drove around a historic area that was lined with small brick buildings. They were reminiscent of the pictures one sees in history books. As we passed by Boston Harbor, my children started to exclaim how they remembered learning about the Boston Tea Party in elementary school. It brought back fond memories of the Boston Tea Party that their teacher made since, in addition to the tea, they also had cookies and cakes. This explained to me why the event was memorable, however, as the conversation ensued, it became clear that there was a gross misperception on their part.

My in-laws, Rabbi Gershon and Elana Grayman, lost their daughter on the 14^th of Shevat (1/24/24). She was 21. May the neshama of Shifra Gittel bas Gershon Berel have an aliyah.

This article is about shiva – based on my recent experience as a family member of an aveil (mourner); it’s a topic not often spoken about. I must preface my thoughts by stating that I have zero intention of insensitivity toward those faced with the intense emotional, physical, and mental challenges that come with shiva. Please forgive me if I come across as callous in any way. This is just me voicing my thoughts in an effort to process them.

People are living longer. Many men can retire at age 65 and have at least 10 to 20 productive years ahead without the yoke of parnassa. Those who were unable to devote themselves to Torah learning because of the need to support their families can now return to the beis medrash. There is ample time, using this golden stage of life, to attempt to acquire the most esteemed accolade: talmid chacham! There are currently structured programs in Baltimore providing opportunities throughout the day for growth in Torah. No longer must we suffice with grabbing a Daf Yomi shiur in the morning and listening to our Rav explain a halacha between Mincha and Maariv. 

With Purim approaching, we thought it might be helpful to consider the importance of speaking with your children about drinking. It’s an unpleasant topic, one that we parents might want to avoid in the midst of busy preparations for this happy day. Unfortunately, it has become necessary, just as we teach children to buckle their seatbelts in the car and wear their helmets when they ride their bikes.

Dear Shlomo, 

I’m concerned about my husband. His depression and anxiety are having a profoundly negative effect on me and on the rest of the family. I want him to go to therapy, but he is not interested. Can therapy help someone who does not want to change?

Concerned

A Scary World

A lot has happened recently to change people’s perception of guns. Here are a few recent concerns:

Covid: COVID threatened to destabilize much of civilization. People feared major food shortages and violence. As a result, there was an instant rush on guns and ammunition. The rush was so significant that almost no ammunition was commercially available for over a year ?(1). Though civil unrest and shortages were limited, this significant event touched us all.

Active Shooters: Active shooter incidents are traumatic and highly publicized events. But, in fact, they are very rare. There are approximately one hundred deaths per year ?(2). This is only about one fifth the number of people be killed by accidental handgun incidents ?(3). Thus a person is five times more likely to be killed from a gun mishap than from an active shooter.

Dear Readers,

I am on a brief hiatus. The following article was published three years ago in my early days as a WWW regular. I believe that the thoughts expressed are still timely and relevant. I look forward to a fresh article in the next edition. May we hear better news from Eretz Yisrael very soon, iy”H. Please keep all of the hostages in your davening – especially Doniel Shimon Ben Sharon and Mayan Ben Anat.

Ivan Lerner

Now that the temperature has finally dropped, we hurry from our homes to our cars to our homes, and we have enough hot cocoa powder to satisfy everyone’s early morning needs. During these winter months, mothers everywhere shudder at the sight of children playing outside on chilly afternoons without their jackets. The sound of laughter and the crunching of dry leaves are knit together with the distinct call, “Go put on a jacket! I’m cold just looking at you!”

For thousands of years, people have erroneously thought that being cold caused one to catch a cold. The true culprit, however, was finally apprehended in the late 1700s by Benjamin Franklin, who, in addition to being a Founding Father, diplomat, and inventor, was a member of the Royal Medical Society of Paris and a few U.S. medical societies. Through his own observation and analysis, he understood that respiratory diseases came from other people and not from spending time in the crisp air without a coat. Franklin recommended that everyone breathe some fresh air each day, and he personally lived a long, fulfilling life taking his own “medicine.

When there are wars in Israel, they arouse fierce emotions. To the extent that they involve us personally, they make us ask ourselves who we are and what is important to us. Here is a “war story” from my own past.

A friend of mine, a pulpit rabbi in a large city in the United States, was approached by parents from his congregation when the 1990 Gulf War broke out. Israel was being bombed by Saddam Hussein of Iraq. The couple had a son in his “gap year” learning in a Jerusalem yeshiva, and they were concerned. They asked the rabbi if they could bring their son home. He answered, “You can do it, but realize that if you bring the boy home, he will remember for the rest of his life that you pulled him out of Jewish history.” This gave them new focus, and they let their son stay.