To the Shadchan:

I am fairly young and newly married. I have many unmarried friends whom I would love to help. B”H, my husband knows a lot of eligible guys. I started fixing people up and then got too frustrated. My friends were too picky and turned people down for no real reason. But since I am friends with them I felt that I couldn’t tell them they were being stupid. These are really top boys. I was recently talking with my mother about this, and she said that I really should get past my feelings and help these girls. Do you think I’m obligated to help, and, if so, do you have any advice for me?

Dr. Morris Mayer works a six-day, 80-hour week as the owner of two pharmacies – the Joppa Road Pharmacy in Parkville and the Harford Road Pharmacy in Carney. You would think that he would want to take it easy on Shabbos, but au contraire! Each Shabbos, in rain, sleet and snow, Dr. Mayer and his 18-year-old son Doni make the approximately four-mile round trip trek – including the steep “killer hill” leading to Pimlico Racetrack – to Levindale Hebrew Geriatric Center and Hospital.

The dynamic duo started their weekly pilgrimage about six years ago, following in the footsteps – literally – of their son/older brother, Adam, now a 23-year-old medical school student in Philadelphia, who still volunteers at Levindale when he is in town. He was the first in the family to volunteer, seven years ago, encouraged by his friends, the Gnatt brothers, Itamar and Michael.

Parnassa is truly a gift from Hashem. Each morning, in Ashrei, we recite, “posai’ach es yaodecha – You open Your hand to satisfy all the living.” In Shemoneh Esrei, we ask Hashem to “satisfy us from Your bounty.” On motza’ei Shabbos, we ask Hashem for dew from Heaven to give us the fatness of the earth and plenty of corn and wine. We ask for parnassa in Avinu Malkeinu, as well as in the blessing on Rosh Chodesh, the new month. In the bentshing, too, we thank Hashem for our bread, while asking for sustenance, blessing, and success.

No matter what our financial position – barely holding on or blessed with largesse – we must always recognize that it is Hashem’s money with which we are entrusted, given to us to manage properly. We must be same’ach bechelko, happy with our lot, and do our hishtadlus, make our best efforts, to support ourselves and our family. That includes crafting a sound financial plan.

Today, at around 7:30 a.m., somewhere between diaper changes and trying to convince Yedidya that he could not eat two fistfuls of raisins, we start to hear the sirens. Yedidya runs to the front porch, craning his neck to see the ambulances pass by on the main road. “Nother one! Nother one! Nother one!” As the unexpected light-and-sound show continues relentlessly and he is almost exploding with glee, my hands begin to shake. Oh G-d. Please. No! This was clearly a terror attack, and from the sound of the police and ambulances speeding in the same direction, it is clear something terrible has happened just one neighborhood over, in Har Nof.

These are hard times for us all, and nobody can say what the future holds. Last week we all experienced, together, the horror of an attack on a shul in Har Nof, in which four pious rabbis were killed, and almost 20 others were wounded, mostly people in the middle of prayers. Pictures of that attack evoked memories of scenes we have not experienced in 70 years.

In this most recent tragedy, just one of many, fate decreed that I had a connection to two out of the four Har Nof families in mourning, and many of you in Baltimore have at least one connection as well. Wednesday evening I paid condolence calls to Agassi Street in Har Nof, where the murders occurred, and where those two families live. Rabbi Arye Kupinsky, hy”d, of Har Nof was raised in Kiryat Arba, my town, and my family has several connections to his family, which still lives there. I also paid a call to the Twersky family, down the street, who were mourning Rabbi Mosheh Twersky, hy”d. There, as I had thought I might, I found Rabbi Twersky’s sister Tzippora, and her husband, Rabbi Jonathan Rosenblatt, a close childhood friend from Baltimore. The couple had just flown in from the Bronx, where Jonathan is a rabbi.

There are some new developments in income taxes this year, and some of the changes are significant. First of all, several tax deductions ended with 2013, but experts think they will be voted in retroactively to the beginning of 2014. Here are the changes:

You no longer get the exclusion for cancelled home mortgage debt. This was the provision that if a bank forgave a loan, it is income to you, but you did not have to pay taxes on it. This occurred when the real estate market went down and people renegotiated mortgages. Let’s hope this one comes back.

My children are mostly grown up now, but I can still remember the tension I felt when I had to work on Chol Hamoed and my children had school vacation, or the times when my son cried bitterly when I dropped him off at the daycare center. All day I was torn between doing my job and worrying about the kids. Most working mothers can identify with this stress. Often we think, am I doing the right thing or the wrong thing for my family by going to work? What can I do differently so that we can all benefit?

Since many young women work today, I decided to explore some of the choices they make about their working lives. Why do women work? How do they maintain a balance between their home and work lives? Why do some women chose not to work? How does family support help? What impact does working have on the children?

Last month’s article on tuition highlighted the tremendous struggle some typical day school parents have in shouldering tuition costs. This article will discuss ideas and efforts that are being put forth to help alleviate the problem.

As noted last month, our schools meet most of their budget items with tuition money, yet a good portion of operating expenses must be covered by other sources of income, including direct donor contributions, fundraising events, and other sources. In the past, day schools could count on support from Jews who were not necessarily Orthodox but recognized the importance of Jewish education. This source of funds has become minimized, as non-affiliated or more assimilated Jews, who may have a diminished attachment to Judaism, are giving the majority of their charity donations to non-Jewish causes.

With Yom Tov over and school continuing in earnest, both parents and children hope that this school year will be better than ever – that good students will become great students, mediocre students will significantly improve, and poor students will meet basic requirements. As often happens, though, while students and teachers progress toward their goals, issues emerge that must be dealt with. Parents naturally try very hard to effect changes in their children’s situation. Some will succeed, helping their children reach new heights. Others will not succeed, and may instead cause terrible damage in their children’s relationship with their teachers, as well as in their attitudes.

Once a Pikesville country club, now a yeshiva campus, the Bais HaMedrash and Mesivta  of Baltimore is a jewel of Torah learning – and the pride and joy of its founder and Rosh Yeshiva, Harav Zvi Dov Slanger. I recently visited the yeshiva on a weeknight and witnessed over 135 bachurim packing the beis medrash and learning with tremendous enthusiasm. This room filled with a chorus of Torah learning is the fulfillment of Rav Slanger’s dream and the crescendo of his Torah life.

The journey to this accomplishment starts with a young Hungarian Holocaust survivor who, this year, celebrates the momentous 70-year anniversary since his release from the notorious Bergen-Belsen concentration camp at a commemorative seudas hoda’ah, (festive thanksgiving banquet) on the 21st of Kislev. In preparation for this event, Devorah Klein told Rabbi Slanger’s life story in last month’s issue, from his birth in Budapest to his incarceration in Bergen-Belsen to his arrival in Baltimore. We continue with a detailed account of his years in Baltimore.