To the Shadchan:

I recently got engaged to a wonderful boy with a great family. His family is super nice, and I love going over there. I get along so well with his parents and siblings. The only issue, which I am beginning to see and which might be bigger than I realize, is my future mother-in-law. While she is really sweet, she seems controlling. She wants to know every detail of my day. My mother says that she’s just trying to be friendly, but it feels different to me. She is also trying to control every detail of my wedding. Yes, it’s my wedding. I am not trying to sound mean or anything, but the truth is, I have been planning my wedding ever since I was little. I really don’t appreciate someone trying to take away my dream. My chassan supports me and says that we should do it my way, but he would never stand up to his mother. It’s not an issue of money; both my parents and his are quite comfortable, b”H. We just have very different tastes. She is telling me how to do my nails! Should I be worried about her in the future? We will be living in the same city (away from my parents), and I am scared that she will try to run our lives. How should I deal with her in general, without being chutzpadik and ruining my relationship with her?

Vestiges of yellow police tape and a metal fence to ward off trespassers still surround the charred remnants of the November 29th Shabbos morning blaze. The heavy fire broke out at 4:30 a.m. on the third floor of 2701 Jenner Drive, in Baltimore’s Pickwick Apartment complex, and spread from the roof to the adjacent 2703 Jenner Drive.

Four of the six apartments in building 2701 that were damaged by fire, smoke, and/or water were occupied by young Orthodox families, including five children under the age of three; the other two were inhabited by elderly people. Baruch Hashem, all the residents evacuated in time, thanks to the gallant heroism of one of the young residents, who was awoken by the fire, and knocked on everyone’s doors. Kudos also go to another young man who, when rushing out of his apartment with his wife and child, noticed that an elderly neighbor was frozen on the landing, in shock, and saved her by carrying her down the stairs to outdoor safety. The fire was under control by 6 a.m. and the three elderly residents were treated for minor injuries.

There’s business networking and then there’s…the networking that you can avail of at the 2015 Parnassah Expo, which will be held on March 17th and 18th at the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center.As you read these lines, registration for exhibitors is in full swing, offering a particularly promising experience.For the first time ever, exhibitors can view a map of the expo floor when they reserve online (www.parnassahexpo.com) and can choose the location of their booth, subject to availability, just as you can select a seat for your next flight. Exhibitors can choose the “real estate” that most suits their preferences. Understandably, the earlier a business reserves, the greater the selection will be.

(The authors are president and chairman, respectively, of the Religious Zionists of America, Philadelphia, and candidates on the Religious Zionist slate (www.VoteTorah.org) in the World Zionist Congress elections.)

Lest anyone think, even for a moment, that there is even the slightest link between Islamic terror against Jews in Paris and Islamic terror against Jews in Jerusalem, the New York Times has rushed in to disabuse us of that notion.

Recently, Chaverim of Baltimore sent out two tweets asking for assistance. These were not the all-volunteer organization’s run-of-the-mill pleas for help to change a flat tire, fill a stranded car’s tank with gas, direct traffic for a large car accident, do a pop-a-lock on a car or home, or jumpstart a dead car battery. Nor was it to ask Chaverim members to join forces with Baltimore’s other chesed organization team players to go on a missing person search.

The September 8, 11:17 a.m., tweet read, “Assistance needed for minyan/burial for meis mitzva, tom 3pm bnai israel cemetery in east balt.” The November 4, 7:45 a.m., tweet read: “Help needed to make shiva minyan in ellicott city at 4:40 pm today.” Both tweets asked responders to call the Chaverim hotline, 410-486-9000, if available.

Have you ever seen the magazine called Mad? It often illustrates a yokel named Alfred E. Neuman. Alfred is depicted as a dude without a die-geh (worry) in the world. The following quote describes his philosophy: All the sleepless nights, burdened days, joyless, restless, peace-destroying, health-destroying, love-destroying hours men and women have ever in all earth’s centuries given. Worry never wrought one good thing! Perhaps this quote regarding the uselessness of worrying is on the mark – doss hayst (that means), maybe it’s right!

If someone has a worried expression, it’s probably best to leave him alone. However, if it worries you to the point of plotzing (bursting), you may ask him (or her), “Fahr voss diegehst do – Why are you worrying?” The response may simply be, “Ich diegeh nit – I’m not worrying. That’s my normal facial expression!” He may then wonder why you are draying ah kopp (confusing him).

Last month, in part one of this article about the fundamentals of personal finance, I covered the importance of gathering a team of financial advisors, teaching children how to handle money, preparing for a parnassa and marriage, student loans, avoiding credit card debt, the importance of insurance, and what to look for in a job. Here I will cover more topics of interest.

I want to reiterate the basic attitude we Orthodox Jews should have towards money. It is that parnassa is truly a gift from Hashem, for which we daven every day. No matter what our financial position – barely holding on or blessed with largesse – we must always recognize that it is Hashem’s money with which we have been entrusted; our job is to manage it properly. Our job is to be same’ach bechelko, happy with our lot, and do our hishtadlus, our best efforts, to support ourselves and our family.

A few months back, I started my article with the following mishna in Pirkei Avos: Rabbi Elazar haKappar said, “Hakin’a vehata’avah vehakavod motzi’im es ha’adam min ha’olam – Envy, inordinate desire, and [the search for] glory remove a man from the world.” (Pirkei Avos 4:28, translation from Bunim’s Ethics from Sinai) This month I would like to focus on another interpretation of “remove a man from the world.” R. Bunim says, “If they [these passions] remove a man from the world, they obviously do not abate as long as the person lives….they will be ‘faithful to the end’ – the bitter end that they hasten.”A strong appetite or desire does not go away. It may be pacified by feeding it one day, but the next day it is back again, a force to deal with and to accompany us throughout our lives. As Rav Yitzchak says (Kiddushin 30b) “A person’s yetzer renews itself daily”.

As a therapist, working with parents and children is one of my favorite duties. I have developed a comfortable parenting style and philosophy from the training and reading I have done, both Jewish and secular (see below for some of my favorite reads), and I have had the privilege of helping many parents improve their own parenting as a result. So it was with more than a little embarrassment that I caught myself doing something that I knew was ineffective and counterproductive, something that I commonly teach others not to do.

Let me start with this question: How do you get your kids to brush their teeth every night?

I don’t know why, but there seems to come a time when you go from embracing technology as a child to running in fear of it as an adult. Let’s face it, technology is becoming smarter and quicker, and we are becoming – well, you know.

As I reflect back, I realize that the technology that molded my childhood came in dribs and drabs. It came so slowly down the pipeline that we had time to break an item and replace it with the same model. Children and parents were able to happily navigate technology together. There were fewer buttons to push, fewer choices to make, and fewer adults being left behind in the dust. I remember my father bringing home a cassette recorder – yes, this was considered technology – and showing us how to use it. We were so excited. We sang and recorded “Happy Birthday” to it as we welcomed it into our home.