The Napkin and the Legacy
One morning, leaving shul after Shacharis, I noticed the familiar tableau: a small plastic container of herring, a few crackers, and a napkin serving as the “signage.” On it, in hurried pen scratches, was a single first name ben another first name. No last name. No context. No relationship. No explanation. Just a lone name, as though the act itself required nothing more.
We all know the scene. It is a minhag, and therefore – by communal reflex – holy, untouchable. And yet, the more one thinks about it, the more absurd it can feel. If a stranger scribbles a name and leaves herring under it in memory of another stranger, what exactly am I participating in? Am I meant to compare this to “today’s learning is l’zechus so-and-so,” where the person is equally unknown to me? As Rabbi Moshe Heineman once asked with admirable clarity: “What’s the zechus?”





