Back in the 1980s, the tongue-in-cheek book, Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche: A Guidebook to All that is Truly Masculine, sold 1.6 million copies and was on the New York Times bestseller list for 55 weeks! Written after a decade of feminist critique of traditional male roles and behaviors, it satirized stereotypical masculinity in an age when men were confused about how they ought to behave.

Has anything changed? While men may eat more quiche these days, it is clear that the confusion continues, as portrayals of masculinity in the media veer wildly between the extremes of brutal machismo and wimpy emoting. What is a man, and how should he behave? What does our Jewish tradition teach us about this subject?

I couldn’t help but think, after taking a peek into the large white VIP tent close to the Men’s 5K finish line in Druid Hill Park, that it typified the way the Jewish Caring Network (JCN) does things. No detail was spared – everything from pancakes to pizza was elegantly set up, waiting for the men-only run/walk participants that Sunday, May 29. It more closely resembled a beautifully catered simcha rather than a 5K repast.

In the tent, before the race, I had the pleasure of meeting Marlene Daniel, who came to cheer on her husband Jack, one of the 210 participants. In her role as a JCN volunteer, Marlene would drive a young, ill mother wherever she wanted to go, whether it was to a shiur, shopping, or exercising.

How many of you think twice before taking a walk because you are afraid of being confronted by a stranger? Especially if you are a female? How many of you feel vulnerable, especially when you are alone, because of your advanced age and/or because of a physical limitation?

Last month, I attended an introductory self-defense class for women in my neighborhood taught by black belt instructor and president of Comprehensive Survival Arts Martial Arts and Wellness School, Jen Lake. Beyond being a terrific neighborhood bonding experience, the class was downright fun, and Jen empowered us to make smart choices.

Jen, who is an instructor at the JCC and in our community for over 25 years, is passionate about teaching self-defense and making it doable for everyone. I would like to share just some of the many invaluable safety tips and self-defense techniques I learned from her.

Daniel Heifetz, the father of Baltimore’s internationally renowned singer and voice teacher, Elena Tal, is not your average violinist. Famous in five continents for his extraordinary virtuosity, he has won national and international violin competitions; performed on stages around the world, including the Lincoln Center; and served as a professor of violin at the Peabody Conservatory of Music in Baltimore, among other fine institutions. Yet he is as humble and unassuming as they come.

I was honored to be invited by Mrs. Tal to attend the after-school duet performance by her and her father, to which she recently treated her Bais Yaakov seniors.

Miriam,* a 29-year-old stay-at-home-mom who lives in upstate New York, not only has bipolar disorder, she is in recovery from an eating disorder. Elana,* a 37-year-old mother of two who lives and teaches in the Midwest, suffers from both bipolar disorder and epileptic seizures. Rachel,* a 34-year-old who lives in the Northeast, has bipolar disorder that is triggered postpartum. What these women have in common – besides being challenged daily by their bipolar disorder – is Chazkeinu.

Chazkeinu (which, in Hebrew, means “our strength”) is a new organization that gives chizuk (strength) to all Jewish women, throughout the U.S., who suffer from a mental illness of any sort or have a family member who does. The empathetic support and positive connections the organization provides is a vital component in helping them feel safe, understood, and uplifted in their struggles. It offers these things through a variety of programs, projects, and networks that cater to the mental health needs of each individual. In Chazkeinu’s partner program, for example, two women reach out to each other on a weekly basis just to “check in.” The organization hopes to eventually grow to have a monthly email/newsletter and retreat for members to meet one another in person. 

When Mrs. Yael Zelinger came to speak to Bais Yaakov’s eighth-grade girls, last January, she surprised them with her “bag of tricks.” Although the girls’ teacher, Mrs. Rochelle Goldberg, has been teaching an annual unit on disabilities for 15 years, this is the first time she enlisted Mrs. Zelinger, an associate for Disability and Inclusion Services at the Macks Center for Jewish Education to give one of her tailor-made “B’More Inclusive” disability awareness “experiences” to the girls.

To kick off the month-long unit, the 70 students in the three parallel English classes read “Flowers for Algernon,” a short story about a mentally-challenged man, and The Miracle Worker, the story of Helen Keller. At the same time, they were paired up to research a disability or disease of their choice from an approved list. The girls spent about two-and-a-half weeks on research, including the biology of the disability and possible future cures. They then put it all together in a PowerPoint presentation, which they shared with their classmates.