Every doctor knows that stress can trigger or worsen physical problems. High blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, skin conditions, and arthritis are just a few conditions that stress can cause or worsen. They are typically treated with medication. The problem is that there is no pill for stress management that is 100% effective. So how do we get rid of stress and its effects?
Stressors
First, where does
stress come from? Over the years, I’ve noticed that many stressors fall into a
few common categories:
Relationship stress: Learning
communication skills and investing time in the people around you can help,
whether with a friend, spouse, child, or coworker.
Historical stress: This is stress rooted
in past experiences. Old stories become self-perpetuating prophecies. Jan
Bergstom, an expert on people with difficult childhoods, said, “If it’s
hysterical, it’s probably historical.” When people rewrite their story, they
are often able to turn their life around and do things that were impossible
before, just as a patient with clogged artery can exercise better once the
blockage is removed.
Self-esteem stress: If there were a
pill for low self-esteem, I think many people would be signing up for it. Rabbi
Dr. Abraham Twersky explained that being bad at something does not affect your
self-esteem – only if you believe you are bad at something but really are not.
Many people find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques helpful. I teach
many of these self-esteem techniques in my workshops.
Life events stress: Weddings, bar mitzvahs,
deaths, holidays, divorces, moving, new babies – all of these can stress you
out.
Financial or vocational
stress:
Job changes, asking for a raise, or managing finances can be overwhelming.
There are good resources for managing these finances so that you do not fall
into debt.
Lack of clear
goals or direction:
Some people feel like they’re drifting with no view of where they are going.
Their stress comes from not having a plan or a purpose. Neuro-linguistic programming
(NLP) techniques help people feel empowered.
Mind Over Matter
Often, when you address
these stressors, the body can heal in amazing ways. I personally experienced relief
from back problems after working through my stress. I was suddenly able to carry
heavy things up the stairs and touch my toes for the first time since high
school. One recent client had been experiencing hip pain for a year, even after
seeking help from chiropractors and others. She came to me and we were, thank
G-d, able to resolve the pain in an hour. The issue was stress from
negative experiences in the past. The client reported, “B”H, I’m doing
well! Went to sleep with no pain, woke up with some, I did some visualization,
breathing, and letting go, and the pain was much easier.”
Everyone’s
experience is different. Some people require more intense inner work. Some techniques I use with my clients are CBT, NLP,
conscious continuous breathing, guided imagery, somatic experiencing, gentle
movement exercises, goal chunking, micro-actions, regular check-ins, mirror
work, affirmations, gratitude, journaling, and time tracking.
Dr. John E. Sarno,
an MD who specialized in chronic pain, said that pain is often the body’s way
of distracting you from emotional stress. He noted that two people can
have a slipped disc – their X-rays look the same – yet only one of them is in
pain. Although physical ailments don’t have to be the cause of your suffering,
they can contribute to it. A person who is able to effectively manage stress
will experience pain differently than someone who does not.
Simple Stress-Management Exercises
These easy five-minute exercises can make a difference in
your life right away:
·
Give
yourself a hug and rub the outside of your arms up and down while saying
affirmations like: I am safe, it is safe for me to accept limitation, I don’t
have to control everything, I can let go and let G-d, or I am marching towards
a secure future where I can express my inner goodness.
·
Take
a few slow breaths, filling your lungs and emptying them completely. Even a few
minutes can reset your stress cycle.
·
Move
your body: take a walk or dance.
·
Norman
Cousins famously laughed himself back to health, as described in Anatomy of
an Illness. Why can’t you? Maybe laughter really is the best medicine.
·
Journaling:
Write about your stressful situation as if you were an observer rather than the
one experiencing it.
·
Connect
with a friend or family member.
·
Give
to others.
I hope that this article will give readers a sense of
optimism that it is really possible to relieve their stress and pain.
Aliza Greenbaum
(powerfulandfree@yahoo.com 410-845-1444) is a certified life coach with
certifications in Professional Life Coaching, Finding your Life Purpose, and
Achieving Goal Success. She helps clients achieve their goals in weight loss
(support groups available), communication, self-regulation, burnout, addiction,
and empowerment. Haskamos
available upon request.
