In the past four decades, my wife and I, together with the staff of Etz Chaim, have met hundreds of wonderful Jews involved in their Jewish journeys. I would like to share their stories. You might know some of these special Jews who changed the direction of their lives and their families to become closer to the Jewish community, to Torah, and to Hashem. Read and enjoy. Shlomo Porter
en Kaplan’s Story
As told to Talia Raun
I grew up completely secular. I always knew I was Jewish – we went to shul on the High Holidays or for someone’s bar or bat mitzvah – but I had no concept of kosher or Shabbos. I decided to go to Israel by myself after backpacking with my college roommates all over Europe. I was just going to spend a few days – Masada, the Dead Sea – and continue to Jordan and Egypt. Instead, I wound up at Neve Yerushalayim seminary on my second day in Yerushalayim, learned there for six weeks, then stayed through the chagim.
An Aish family, Rabbi Yaakov and Nili Couzens, connected me with the Discovery program, and I had my first Friday night dinner at their home. I lit candles on time, walked to shul, heard Kiddush, and heard Torah at their table. I was very, very moved.
In Israel I was in awe on a regular basis. So this was Judaism! Everything had meaning!
I was getting ready to return to Baltimore. I was coming back on fire but with no idea how to keep this feeling alive. That's when I heard about an organization called Etz Chaim and Rabbi Porter. Etz Chaim paired me with an Orthodox woman who could answer my questions, shmooze with me, and help keep me inspired. Rebecca Spero became an anchor for me. We met weekly, and she listened to my concerns, answered my questions without judgment, welcomed me into her home for Shabbos, and let me be myself and grow at my own pace. We are very close to this day.
I remember having discussions like, “I don’t think I could ever keep Shabbos.” Rebecca talked me through that. She would kind of play devil’s advocate and make me see that there’s another perspective. We talked about marriage and dating, and she said, “At this point in your life you should only date Jewish people.”
I started dating a guy I’d grown up with, Jon Kaplan, and we got engaged. I told my husband-to-be that I wanted three things in our marriage: a kosher home (we were going to do whatever we wanted outside the house); if we had children, we’d send them to Jewish day schools (as insurance to get them to marry Jewish); and we would keep the family purity laws. That last one is when Jon said, “Whaaaaaaaat?” That’s when I introduced my husband to Rabbi Porter. I said, “You need to learn some of this Jewish stuff, and then we can talk about it.” Thank G-d, he agreed. Rabbi Porter guided us about how to make our chupa and helped us kasher our home. He was at our son’s bris.
When our son was 18 months old, we were at a Shabbaton sponsored by Aish HaTorah and Etz Chaim, and I realized that I had to keep Shabbos. I was nervous to tell my husband; maybe our marriage would break up. I was changing the rules on him.
I underestimated him. He said, “That’s what you need to do.” He was very clear that he couldn’t join me then, but maybe later, and that’s what happened, in about a year. It was the same story with keeping kosher. He now runs Mosaic Catering in partnership with Hoffman and Company.
Along the way, Rabbi Porter introduced us to other families who helped guide us in our journey of becoming religious. We were part of a group called Beginners and Beyond, led by Bruce and Orlee Luchansky. Whatever we did take on, we took it on. We never went back. We both keep learning.
Today I’m very much part of the Baltimore Shabbat Project, an international effort to get everybody to experience Shabbat together in their own way. I’m a co-chair of the Challah Bake, and I’m very involved with Etz Chaim as a partner in that.
It’s the very essence of me to be able to connect with all kinds of Jews, which is what Etz Chaim is as well – whether you’re religious, nonreligious, or don’t even know about religion. Etz Chaim does a great job at meeting people where they are, and not forcing it or making people feel that what they’re doing is wrong or not good enough. It’s a great recipe to foster growth with people. Religious or not, we all need to be growing!
