by Esther Golman
Every parent wants a healthy child.
Food is a big part of health, but the question is, what do children need to eat
and how do we get them to eat it? Observing what children bring in their
lunchboxes shows a wide variety of opinions on the matter. One child brings
three different kinds of cookies in little baggies, and another one brings
cherry tomatoes and cucumbers. Of course, a lot depends on who is making the
lunch and how much time they have. But it also reflects the parents’ beliefs
about food, health, and parenting.
Healthy eating is not a black-and-white
matter. Not only that, but there are many different opinions about what the
best and healthiest foods are. Parents are the ones who make the food decisions
and shape their children’s eating habits. Some parents do not pay much
attention to healthy eating, and others are very conscientious. If they are
convinced that a certain way of eating is right, they can often bring their
children along. Of course, the parents must be very determined and stick to
their guns.
Different Families, Different
Choices
The Hecht’s* believe that living a
vegan lifestyle is very beneficial to your health. That means they don’t eat
any food from animals, including eggs and milk. Since Pesach was just a little
while ago, I asked the children about their seder. Rivka, the five-year-old,
assured me that they had a bone and an egg on their seder plate. When I asked
Rivka where they got the egg from, she told me they got it from the neighbor,
and then excitedly said that they would save the egg and use it again next
year. Since the family limits their intake of fruit juice for medical reasons,
Rivka enthusiastically told me that, at their seder, they drank four cups of
tea instead!
The Hecht children don’t feel
deprived. No matter how many times I asked Rivka if she felt bad when the other
children got their treats, she would not say that she felt left out. Her mother
gives the teacher a big bag of special treats or prizes for her, and she is
satisfied with them. She seemed to feel more privileged than the other children
because she told me, “If the other girls talk during parsha they
can’t get candies next Friday, but I always get my treat.”
The Hechts don’t bend at all and
avoid going to places where sugary snacks and drinks are being served. Mrs.
Hecht is a preschool teacher. She brings some of her philosophy with her to her
class and has taught the students that it is important to eat fruit and
vegetables. Her rule is that the first snack the child eats every day must be a
fruit or vegetable. The children may bring any fruits or vegetables that they
like. If the child does not like what they brought from home, she encourages
them to bring something different the next day. She explains, “Hashem created
such a large variety, and there is something for everyone.”
Recently, the class learned the
letter vav. Mrs. Hecht thought that was a great opportunity for a
vegetable party. She brought in all kinds of vegetables and had three dips on
the table. “You should have seen how the children gobbled up the vegetables,”
she said, “They especially liked the celery.” Some parents have thanked Mrs.
Hecht for emphasizing healthy habits for their children. Mrs. Hecht mentioned
that she finds that kids are less picky about fruits and vegetables than
processed foods, such as needing a specific kind of noodle shape, a specific brand
of sauce or cheese, and just the right temperature. “Once children get used to
the fact that eating fruits and vegetables are a part of life, they stop
complaining,” she said. She also brings in other treats for the class that don’t
have artificial sugar, such as popcorn, organic ice pops made from fruit, or the
Yonanas frozen fruit dessert maker. The kids are very happy with all the
treats. Mrs. Hecht feels like giving candy is not good for the middos we
are trying to instill in our children. “It teaches them to give in to their
cravings and expect instant gratification. Once the unhealthy food leaves their
tongue, it does not do anything for them but is, in fact, detrimental for their
health. On the other hand, healthy snacks leave them empowered and strengthened,”
she concluded.
*
* *
Another family, the Reichs, are
also very committed to healthy eating, but they see things differently. “I try
to convince my children with logic that eating healthy is a good thing and that
they will feel good if they are careful about what they eat,” says Mrs. Reich. “But
I don’t restrict them too much. I don’t want them to feel annoyed or to be resentful
of me. When we go to a kiddush or on Purim, I encourage them to limit what they
take. I tell them, you can have two candies, you don’t have to have 10. One of
my children likes figuring out things mathematically, so we talk about how much
protein is necessary to eat each day. I also show my children videos and
documentaries about health eating.
“People don’t realize that sugar
and processed food are addictive – the more you eat the more you want. Children
who eat a lot of sugary snacks are always hungry and looking for more.” Mrs. Reich explained that it is easy for her
to cut fruit and vegetables for her children’s school lunches because she is a
stay-at-home mother.
*
* *
Mrs. Grant, a mother of five, has a
completely different philosophy. The first thing she said is that her husband
packs the school lunches, so she is not involved with their contents. Mrs.
Grant feels that the dangers of limiting snacks and treats override the
benefits of a healthier diet. “I want my children to have a good relationship
with food as they grow up. I think that limiting and controlling different
foods creates problems. In my opinion, there are no good and bad foods. All
foods have their place in a balanced diet.”
*
* *
Mrs. Back is very aware of health
and makes a big effort to encourage her children to eat healthy foods, but she
is realistic and puts a lot of effort into following her children’s cues. One
of her sons does not like to take healthy snacks to school, so she makes sure
to prepare a healthy snack for him when he comes home. There are certain
ingredients that she knows are very unhealthy, so when she buys snacks, she
makes sure that they don’t have those ingredients in them. Sometimes she will
bargain with her children. Once, her daughter wanted a particular snack that was
not very healthy, so they made an agreement that her daughter would not have
another unhealthy snack that she usually had. In general, Mrs. Back tries to
balance healthy eating in a way that does not make her children resentful. “I
want my children to choose healthy foods for the rest of their lives.”
Eating at School
Because children spend so much of
their day in school, schools have a big influence on their eating habits. One teacher
had a student whose parents didn’t want their children to eat the treats she
gives out in class. Although the child is okay with his parents’ preferences
and the parents provide alternative snacks, it is still an extra detail for the
teacher to remember.
At one
school, I spoke to an administrator, who told me they teach healthy eating
through modeling and education. The emphasis is on educating the parents. On back-to-school
night, they talk about food groups and healthy snacks. They even encourage the
parents to send grapes or clementines instead of candy for Shabbos parties. They
find parents receptive to the idea.
Other schools require the first
snack of the day to be healthy, though they leave it up to the parents to
decide what is healthy. Sometimes children have allergies or sensitivity to
certain foods, and teachers take that into consideration. If a child brings in unhealthy
food to eat for the first snack, they are encouraged to save it for after
lunch.
Many Paths to the Goal
I did not use real names in this
article because every aspect of raising children, including how to feed them,
is personal, and I wanted to respect each family’s privacy. What is clear is
that each family has its own priorities. While some families avoid all sugar and
animal protein, others emphasize moderation and the long-term emotional ramifications
of eating. The approach may differ, but the goals remain the same: Every parent
tries their hardest to raise children who are healthy in body and mind.
* All names are changed.
sidebar
Tips from a Nutritionist
Here are some ideas for feeding
children from Tzipora Hastings RDN, LDN
Exposure: From a young age, expose your
child to various foods, flavors, and textures. Assuming your child doesn’t like
a certain food after a few times does not always mean they will never eat it.
Keep your language neutral; telling your child that they don’t like a food
will reinforce the distaste, and they may avoid trying that food again in the
future.
Family dinners: Try to eat as a family. Dinners are
a great time to model healthy eating habits, catch up on your days, and enjoy
family time.
Balanced meals: Include a protein, carbohydrate,
and fruit or vegetable. Even if your child won’t touch the vegetable, keep it
on a serving plate on the table, or place a small amount on his/her plate. If
your child pushes back, you can let them know that they don’t have to eat it,
but they can taste it if they’d like. They can also remove it from their plate
and put it on a napkin nearby. It’s helpful to make sure there is at least one
food your child will eat.
If you have extra time, you can “play”
with food. Some examples are mashed potato volcanoes with peas and carrots or
gravy, bell pepper boats filled with tuna and a pretzel stick as part of the “sail,”
or fruit kabobs. Serving “make your own” dinners enable children to see a wide
variety of options and choose what they want. This often ends up with leftovers
that you can take for lunch the next day. Win-win!
Dessert: How often do you tell your child
they can have dessert once they’re finished their food, and they immediately
tell you they’re done? You give them dessert and before bedtime they’re hungry
again – and say they didn’t eat enough at dinner! Try putting a small dessert
on the same plate as the meal. Initially, your child may not eat the
dinner, but eventually, he/she may choose what to eat from the plate, choosing
eating foods you didn’t think they would eat. Don’t say anything! Just observe
and repeat.
