Page 46 - issue
P. 46
A More Meaningful Purim
al nature.
For example, the goal of giving mishloach manos, according
to Rav Shlomo Alkabetz (in Sefer Manos Halevi), is to increase
friendship. If we give mishloach manos in a way that connects
us to the other person, we fulfill the purpose of the mitzva.
Unfortunately, the opposite is true as well. When we are in a
rush to exchange gifts, we may inadvertently overlook the per-
son on the other side of the door.
This was Michal’s* experience. She shares that one year she
spent a lot of time coming up with a meaningful poem and
beautifully-themed mishloach manos, but only one person
complimented her on her creative presentation. She felt that
people were so rushed that they didn’t have time to really con-
nect or even notice what she had given them.
According to Rabbi Menachem Goldberger, this is the exact
opposite of what we are trying to achieve. “When you love
someone, you give them gifts as an expression of that love,” he
says. “Gifts help a person express the emotions that lie beneath
the surface and build up his or her connection with the other
person. That is exactly what mishloach manos are supposed to
do – to join us together and increase our love for each other.”
The chesed personality can use her natural drive to connect
to others in a way that accomplishes this goal of increasing friend-
ship. Practically, it may mean cutting down your list so that you
have more time to focus on the individuals you choose to give to.
The Rambam writes in Mishneh Torah, “There is no greater
and more beautiful simcha (joy) than gladdening the hearts of
the poor, orphans, widows, and strangers” and that this should
be our focus when doing the mitzvos of the day. He goes so far
to say that that is what the simcha of Purim comes from –
helping others. He continues, “For one who gladdens the hearts
of these unfortunate people is likened to the Shechina (Divine
Presence)…” In the Rambam’s view, true simchas Purim only
comes through ensuring that those who may feel the most
alone and vulnerable are included in our celebrations.
Dina Hoffman,* a young mother of two, shares that by mak-
ing simpler packages that did not require refrigeration and
could be prepared in advance she was able to give to many
people that she would not have otherwise – particularly elder-
ly neighbors and nonobservant friends.
Someone with a chesed personality can seek out those who
are more likely to feel disconnected from others and would
appreciate being thought of. Abi Brandriss, who moved back to
the U.S. from Germany, where she lived for two years with her
family, shares: “I find the bein adam l’chaveiro (interpersonal)
aspects of Purim to be uplifting. It’s gratifying to see, through
mishloach manot, that we and our children have become part
of the community, and to realize the full scope of the commu-
nity, including its reliance on us, through matanot la’evyonim.
Inviting someone to share the seuda with us similarly leads to
a feeling of connection.”
* a pseudonym
38 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
al nature.
For example, the goal of giving mishloach manos, according
to Rav Shlomo Alkabetz (in Sefer Manos Halevi), is to increase
friendship. If we give mishloach manos in a way that connects
us to the other person, we fulfill the purpose of the mitzva.
Unfortunately, the opposite is true as well. When we are in a
rush to exchange gifts, we may inadvertently overlook the per-
son on the other side of the door.
This was Michal’s* experience. She shares that one year she
spent a lot of time coming up with a meaningful poem and
beautifully-themed mishloach manos, but only one person
complimented her on her creative presentation. She felt that
people were so rushed that they didn’t have time to really con-
nect or even notice what she had given them.
According to Rabbi Menachem Goldberger, this is the exact
opposite of what we are trying to achieve. “When you love
someone, you give them gifts as an expression of that love,” he
says. “Gifts help a person express the emotions that lie beneath
the surface and build up his or her connection with the other
person. That is exactly what mishloach manos are supposed to
do – to join us together and increase our love for each other.”
The chesed personality can use her natural drive to connect
to others in a way that accomplishes this goal of increasing friend-
ship. Practically, it may mean cutting down your list so that you
have more time to focus on the individuals you choose to give to.
The Rambam writes in Mishneh Torah, “There is no greater
and more beautiful simcha (joy) than gladdening the hearts of
the poor, orphans, widows, and strangers” and that this should
be our focus when doing the mitzvos of the day. He goes so far
to say that that is what the simcha of Purim comes from –
helping others. He continues, “For one who gladdens the hearts
of these unfortunate people is likened to the Shechina (Divine
Presence)…” In the Rambam’s view, true simchas Purim only
comes through ensuring that those who may feel the most
alone and vulnerable are included in our celebrations.
Dina Hoffman,* a young mother of two, shares that by mak-
ing simpler packages that did not require refrigeration and
could be prepared in advance she was able to give to many
people that she would not have otherwise – particularly elder-
ly neighbors and nonobservant friends.
Someone with a chesed personality can seek out those who
are more likely to feel disconnected from others and would
appreciate being thought of. Abi Brandriss, who moved back to
the U.S. from Germany, where she lived for two years with her
family, shares: “I find the bein adam l’chaveiro (interpersonal)
aspects of Purim to be uplifting. It’s gratifying to see, through
mishloach manot, that we and our children have become part
of the community, and to realize the full scope of the commu-
nity, including its reliance on us, through matanot la’evyonim.
Inviting someone to share the seuda with us similarly leads to
a feeling of connection.”
* a pseudonym
38 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
