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tious model consisting of a pharmaco- Philosophy of Loyalty, that merely being apologize on some level, and to be
logical regimen of memory-saving fed and housed is often emotionally understood. We need resolution and
drugs like Aricept and computer games meaningless, and that we need a cause what she calls “validation.” Again,
such as Luminosity. Unfortunately, as beyond ourselves. This can be a nation, none of this is conceivable when we
Consumer Reports tells us, the memo- tribe, or most importantly, a family. are abandoned in a lockdown unit of a
ry-saving drugs have little more benefit Families give us context, a legacy, and an nursing home.
than placebos, and once we tire of the enduring purpose. I may know my days
games, we give up. So we really have are numbered, but in the eyes of my chil- So as families and friends run from
only one model of care: institutional. dren and grandchildren, the days of my what they think are the dementia-
This should be grossly unacceptable family are not. For the isolated besotted ghosts of those they once
for Baby Boomers as we project our Alzheimer’s victim, however, living loved, they are in fact depriving their
own future needs. In the next 10 years, behind a “Maginot Line,” this lack of pur- loved ones of meaning and resolution,
2,000,000 more Americans will fall poseful connection must be a horror. basic end-of-life human needs.
prey to Alzheimer’s, all of them
Boomers like me. So, what should be Resolution may be an even more When we Baby Boomers ask what a
done? compelling concern enmeshed in fam- meaningful model of dementia care
ily relationships. Naomi Fell, the great should look like or how we want to be
Any aging person, whether he or she pioneer in dementia care, tells us in cared for, the answer must encompass
has dementia or not, continues to desire The Validation Breakthrough, that as family. Thus it has been for eons. And
purpose and resolution. Existential we prepare to die, we have a need to for those families that do remain
needs do not end because memory resolve unresolved memories and rela- engaged, please know that you are
becomes blurry. And neither of these tionships. Perhaps I was abused as a quite literally doing G-d’s work.
objectives can be achieved in the stulti- child, which was a memory sup-
fying isolation that currently prevails for pressed, or my husband was an alco- Respectfully yours,
those with dementia. Purpose or mean- holic despite my lionization of him, or STEPHEN SARSFIELD BOWMAN
ing is, of course, a perplexing concept, I was a terrible and vindictive mother, President, Peregrine Senior Living,
but there is collective comfort in estab- which was obvious to all but me. (No,
lishing ourselves in a context. Josiah obvious to me too.) As we approach Syracuse, NY
Royce tells us, in his 1908 book, The death, Fell suggests, we want to heal,
TO THE EDITOR,
Kudos to Bracha Shugarman for her
fascinating and enjoyable articles on for-
26 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
logical regimen of memory-saving fed and housed is often emotionally understood. We need resolution and
drugs like Aricept and computer games meaningless, and that we need a cause what she calls “validation.” Again,
such as Luminosity. Unfortunately, as beyond ourselves. This can be a nation, none of this is conceivable when we
Consumer Reports tells us, the memo- tribe, or most importantly, a family. are abandoned in a lockdown unit of a
ry-saving drugs have little more benefit Families give us context, a legacy, and an nursing home.
than placebos, and once we tire of the enduring purpose. I may know my days
games, we give up. So we really have are numbered, but in the eyes of my chil- So as families and friends run from
only one model of care: institutional. dren and grandchildren, the days of my what they think are the dementia-
This should be grossly unacceptable family are not. For the isolated besotted ghosts of those they once
for Baby Boomers as we project our Alzheimer’s victim, however, living loved, they are in fact depriving their
own future needs. In the next 10 years, behind a “Maginot Line,” this lack of pur- loved ones of meaning and resolution,
2,000,000 more Americans will fall poseful connection must be a horror. basic end-of-life human needs.
prey to Alzheimer’s, all of them
Boomers like me. So, what should be Resolution may be an even more When we Baby Boomers ask what a
done? compelling concern enmeshed in fam- meaningful model of dementia care
ily relationships. Naomi Fell, the great should look like or how we want to be
Any aging person, whether he or she pioneer in dementia care, tells us in cared for, the answer must encompass
has dementia or not, continues to desire The Validation Breakthrough, that as family. Thus it has been for eons. And
purpose and resolution. Existential we prepare to die, we have a need to for those families that do remain
needs do not end because memory resolve unresolved memories and rela- engaged, please know that you are
becomes blurry. And neither of these tionships. Perhaps I was abused as a quite literally doing G-d’s work.
objectives can be achieved in the stulti- child, which was a memory sup-
fying isolation that currently prevails for pressed, or my husband was an alco- Respectfully yours,
those with dementia. Purpose or mean- holic despite my lionization of him, or STEPHEN SARSFIELD BOWMAN
ing is, of course, a perplexing concept, I was a terrible and vindictive mother, President, Peregrine Senior Living,
but there is collective comfort in estab- which was obvious to all but me. (No,
lishing ourselves in a context. Josiah obvious to me too.) As we approach Syracuse, NY
Royce tells us, in his 1908 book, The death, Fell suggests, we want to heal,
TO THE EDITOR,
Kudos to Bracha Shugarman for her
fascinating and enjoyable articles on for-
26 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
