Page 132 - issue
P. 132
Had she had more daughters, she’d have
likely distributed those hopes and dreams
amongst them all. Instead, every fiber of her
feminine being was invested in Rusi.
of each syllable. “She never liked me.” Like Alice and her mother? was why I was becoming a masseuse,
Chana was silent. It was difficult to Chana pushed the thought away. but it’s the truth. I can use what I
Far, far away. Alice and her mother learned to help sick people, and
know what to say in the face of the had been an extreme study of oppo- there’s something very special about
older woman’s hurt. sites. Of two people who shared one of that.”
the closest bonds in the world and
“She was your mother,” Heidi said. who’d nevertheless chosen to alienate Chana opened and closed her
“She must have loved you in the best themselves from one another by a mouth, groping for something to say.
way she knew how. She made mis- series of misguided choices. “That’s very noble of you,” she said
takes, every mother makes mistakes, She and Rusi would never be like finally.
but she loved you.” that.
Again the image of Alice rose to “You’re like that,” Rusi said. “Noble.
Alice grew silent. She rocked back mind. The similarities between mother I’m not. But I guess I can learn.”
and forth in her chair, obviously think- and daughter had hardly played a role
ing about Heidi’s words. A spasm of in their alienation. By Alice’s own Chana stared at her in shock. Did
pain passed over her face and she account, she and her mother had Rusi actually want to emulate her?
groaned. been quite similar. Probably a lot more
similar than she and Rusi. They’d both The thought was jarring and pleas-
“Fine,” she said at last. “I’d like to had a penchant for perfection, both ant at the same time.
ask my mother for forgiveness. Can had been artistic, and both had been
you please arrange it?” extremists. Chana thought of Alice begging her
And yet they hadn’t gotten along. mother for forgiveness that morning,
◆◆◆ As for she and Rusi… After 120, and the look of poised serenity on her
would Rusi come to her funeral? face afterwards.
“How’d it go today?” Chana asked. Chana shook her head again. Of
She was exhausted after that morn- course Rusi would be there. She was The image of Rusi as a newborn
ing’s funeral and the emotional toll it getting all morbid after the morning’s baby suddenly rose to mind. The red
had taken, but she could see that Rusi events. face, the innocence, the screaming.
wanted to talk about her day at work, “You know,” Rusi said, “I never And the certainty that there’d be
so she forced herself to listen. thought I’d go into something that’s more.
similar to what you do, but here I am,
“Physically taxing,” Rusi said. “I treating terminally ill people. I guess Over the years, Chana had battled
never thought that massaging so many I’ve picked up a thing or two from you with her disappointment that she had-
people could wear me out like that.” over the years.” n’t been chosen to have a large family.
“From me?” Chana said. “You decid- She remembered how, when Rusi was
Chana looked at her, waiting for ed to become a masseuse because of in fifth grade, the doctors had
her to say more. me?” informed her that there was simply
“Not the masseuse part. The hos- nothing left for them to do. That had
“It’s hard to see so many very ill pice part. Isn’t that one step past an been one of the blackest days of her
people too,” Rusi said slowly. “But in a old age home?” life.
way it’s very satisfying to know that I’m “No,” Chana said. “It’s not. An old
providing them with relief in such a age home is where elderly people live. She and Nosson had eventually
tangible way.” Sometimes for years and years…” She made peace with the fact that they’d
stopped talking. never have a large family. And yet
Chana hadn’t anticipated Rusi Rusi waved her hand. “Whatever. It she’d never realized just how many
making such a remark, but then again doesn’t matter if they’re the same or hopes and dreams she’d poured into
she’d never have dreamed of Rusi not. It’s about using your talents to the two children she’d been blessed
accepting work at a hospice either. help other people. I never thought that with. Looking at Rusi was like looking
Rusi had started out learning to be a into a mirror of all of her expectations
masseuse in order to work with people and ambitions. Had she had more
who were terminally ill. And yet, as daughters, she’d have likely distrib-
Rusi had just said, she was providing uted those hopes and dreams
these people with something very amongst them all. Instead, every fiber
valuable, something that Chana her- of her feminine being was invested in
self would never dream of providing Rusi.
them with.
And Rusi wasn’t like her. Not at all.
They were so different, this mother-
and-daughter team.
124 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
likely distributed those hopes and dreams
amongst them all. Instead, every fiber of her
feminine being was invested in Rusi.
of each syllable. “She never liked me.” Like Alice and her mother? was why I was becoming a masseuse,
Chana was silent. It was difficult to Chana pushed the thought away. but it’s the truth. I can use what I
Far, far away. Alice and her mother learned to help sick people, and
know what to say in the face of the had been an extreme study of oppo- there’s something very special about
older woman’s hurt. sites. Of two people who shared one of that.”
the closest bonds in the world and
“She was your mother,” Heidi said. who’d nevertheless chosen to alienate Chana opened and closed her
“She must have loved you in the best themselves from one another by a mouth, groping for something to say.
way she knew how. She made mis- series of misguided choices. “That’s very noble of you,” she said
takes, every mother makes mistakes, She and Rusi would never be like finally.
but she loved you.” that.
Again the image of Alice rose to “You’re like that,” Rusi said. “Noble.
Alice grew silent. She rocked back mind. The similarities between mother I’m not. But I guess I can learn.”
and forth in her chair, obviously think- and daughter had hardly played a role
ing about Heidi’s words. A spasm of in their alienation. By Alice’s own Chana stared at her in shock. Did
pain passed over her face and she account, she and her mother had Rusi actually want to emulate her?
groaned. been quite similar. Probably a lot more
similar than she and Rusi. They’d both The thought was jarring and pleas-
“Fine,” she said at last. “I’d like to had a penchant for perfection, both ant at the same time.
ask my mother for forgiveness. Can had been artistic, and both had been
you please arrange it?” extremists. Chana thought of Alice begging her
And yet they hadn’t gotten along. mother for forgiveness that morning,
◆◆◆ As for she and Rusi… After 120, and the look of poised serenity on her
would Rusi come to her funeral? face afterwards.
“How’d it go today?” Chana asked. Chana shook her head again. Of
She was exhausted after that morn- course Rusi would be there. She was The image of Rusi as a newborn
ing’s funeral and the emotional toll it getting all morbid after the morning’s baby suddenly rose to mind. The red
had taken, but she could see that Rusi events. face, the innocence, the screaming.
wanted to talk about her day at work, “You know,” Rusi said, “I never And the certainty that there’d be
so she forced herself to listen. thought I’d go into something that’s more.
similar to what you do, but here I am,
“Physically taxing,” Rusi said. “I treating terminally ill people. I guess Over the years, Chana had battled
never thought that massaging so many I’ve picked up a thing or two from you with her disappointment that she had-
people could wear me out like that.” over the years.” n’t been chosen to have a large family.
“From me?” Chana said. “You decid- She remembered how, when Rusi was
Chana looked at her, waiting for ed to become a masseuse because of in fifth grade, the doctors had
her to say more. me?” informed her that there was simply
“Not the masseuse part. The hos- nothing left for them to do. That had
“It’s hard to see so many very ill pice part. Isn’t that one step past an been one of the blackest days of her
people too,” Rusi said slowly. “But in a old age home?” life.
way it’s very satisfying to know that I’m “No,” Chana said. “It’s not. An old
providing them with relief in such a age home is where elderly people live. She and Nosson had eventually
tangible way.” Sometimes for years and years…” She made peace with the fact that they’d
stopped talking. never have a large family. And yet
Chana hadn’t anticipated Rusi Rusi waved her hand. “Whatever. It she’d never realized just how many
making such a remark, but then again doesn’t matter if they’re the same or hopes and dreams she’d poured into
she’d never have dreamed of Rusi not. It’s about using your talents to the two children she’d been blessed
accepting work at a hospice either. help other people. I never thought that with. Looking at Rusi was like looking
Rusi had started out learning to be a into a mirror of all of her expectations
masseuse in order to work with people and ambitions. Had she had more
who were terminally ill. And yet, as daughters, she’d have likely distrib-
Rusi had just said, she was providing uted those hopes and dreams
these people with something very amongst them all. Instead, every fiber
valuable, something that Chana her- of her feminine being was invested in
self would never dream of providing Rusi.
them with.
And Rusi wasn’t like her. Not at all.
They were so different, this mother-
and-daughter team.
124 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
