Page 120 - issue
P. 120
A FAIRD IS A JEWISH HORSE, OF COURSE!by I. Kinek
oon we will once again hear the
story of Mordechai, who was
taken for a ride on the King’s
horse, led by the infamous
Haman. That was a Persian
Shorse, but did you ever hear
miseh about a talking horse which was American folklore has thousands of
turned into a TV series called Mr. Ed.
(Some of you may remember its theme cowboy and Indian stories and movies
song, “A Horse Is a Horse, of Course, of
Course.”) involving horses. Who doesn’t recall
◆◆◆ the geshrey (yell) of the Lone Ranger:
“Hiyo, Silver, away!”? Remember Roy
After many centuries, our disdain for
Rogers and his faird Trigger, or Gene
Autry singing “Back in the saddle
about a Yiddisher faird?” So horses changed, and horses entered again…” as he mounted his faird
now you are laughing: a Jewish the vernacular. Upon reviewing an old Champion, or Hop-a-long Cassidy talk-
horse? What’s that!? Yiddish dictionary, I saw many faird ing to his faird, Topper? Food for
Many of the Yiddish misehs (tales) of words and expressions. Here are a few: thought or for a good school essay!
the Old Country, by Sholom Aleichem, ah ferdisher gelechter, high laughter, ◆◆◆
were about Tevya der milchiger (Tevya like a horse’s whinny; a fairdisher Once upon a time, we lived near
the dairy man), later written into a play ponim, a horse-like expression; aire est Pimlico Race Course. We looked out
entitled Fiddler on the Roof. Tevya vee ah faird, he eats like a horse; aire the window and noticed people rushing
delivered dairy products to the folks in tracht vee ah faird, he thinks like a to the fairdlach races with an enthusi-
his Russian village. One day the anti- horse; aire loift vee ah faird, he runs astic gait, returning to their cars sever-
Semitic government officials decided to like a horse; and aire is ah groyseh al hours later dragging their feet. In
expel the Yidden from their shtetl faird, he is a big horse (not exactly a recent years, walking around after the
(town) as was the custom in many sec- compliment!). horse races can be unsafe. A few years
tions of Europe. Prior to leaving, Tevya ◆◆◆ ago, as I walked to shul for Mincha, a
goes to the barn and thanks his faird Nu, you may say, we don’t live in a drunk driver tossed a beer can out of
for pulling his dairy wagon for so many vacuum. What about expressions used the car and shouted an anti-Semitic
years. Of course, he speaks to his horse by the English-speaking masses slur. Nu, he probably lost his hoyzehn
in Yiddish. around us? Here’s a little story com- (pants) at the races. So who was to
◆◆◆ posed of horse phrases: blame? Yidden, of course…
Fairdlach (more than one faird) John, a stable manager, had ◆◆◆
were not always looked upon with good horse sense, but he failed in It is written that Moshiach ben
favor by our people as they reminded regard to one of his employees. He Dovid will arrive on a donkey (a rela-
us of being slaves in Egypt. After was desperate for someone to tive of the faird). Nu, our Muslim
being chased out of the country clean the stalls, when Henry “cousins” couldn’t mentally digest
because of the makkos (plagues) on appeared. Henry had a great such a happening, so they rewrote the
the Egyptians, we were once again resume and came with his own script with a character named Mahdi
pursued by our former slavemasters, tools. So, not looking a gift horse riding on a white faird. For them, a
whose chariots were pulled by – yes – in the mouth, he hired Henry, who donkey pahst nisht (was not fitting).
fairdlach! You know the rest of the indeed worked like a horse. Mahdi will then proceed to slaughter
story, right? Oyb nisht (if not), here is Unfortunately, one day, John all of us. Nu, go have peace with our
what happened: The fairdlach and noticed Henry and another stable “cousins”!
their charioteers had ah meesen soff boy, Bill, running around the track. In an old TV program called To
(an ugly ending), taking up permanent Bill ran like a horse and was win- Tell the Truth (anyone remember?),
residence at the bottom of the sea! ning the race. But John put a stop the object was for a panel to guess
Zoll azoy zine fahr unzehr sonim to it, shouting, “Stop horsing which of the three contestants were
(may it occur to our enemies)! around and get back to work!” He authentic and which was lying. The
◆◆◆ was inclined to fire Henry and Bill closing question was, “Will the real
In the Holy Torah, kings are warned but thought to himself, “It’s best person stand up?” One of the contest-
not to own too many fairdlach. not to change horses in the middle ants stood up, and the audience went
Fahrvoss (why)? you may ask. Go ask a of the stream.” His stable business wild. Nu, when the real Moshiach
gelerenter (knowledgeable) Yid. The was declining, but he comforted arrives, he will not have to go through
Torah also mentions Bilam’s talking himself in the knowledge that the any contest! We will know him imme-
donkey, who objected to his owner’s other stables were not doing well diately. What we pray for is for
whippings. Nu, you may say, an aizel either. “I guess every horse thinks Moshiach ben Dovid to arrive
(donkey) is not a horse. True. But many its own pack is the heaviest,” he bimhayraw beyawmaynu (quickly in
centuries later, Walter Brooks wrote a thought as he rode into the twilight. our days)!◆
112 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
oon we will once again hear the
story of Mordechai, who was
taken for a ride on the King’s
horse, led by the infamous
Haman. That was a Persian
Shorse, but did you ever hear
miseh about a talking horse which was American folklore has thousands of
turned into a TV series called Mr. Ed.
(Some of you may remember its theme cowboy and Indian stories and movies
song, “A Horse Is a Horse, of Course, of
Course.”) involving horses. Who doesn’t recall
◆◆◆ the geshrey (yell) of the Lone Ranger:
“Hiyo, Silver, away!”? Remember Roy
After many centuries, our disdain for
Rogers and his faird Trigger, or Gene
Autry singing “Back in the saddle
about a Yiddisher faird?” So horses changed, and horses entered again…” as he mounted his faird
now you are laughing: a Jewish the vernacular. Upon reviewing an old Champion, or Hop-a-long Cassidy talk-
horse? What’s that!? Yiddish dictionary, I saw many faird ing to his faird, Topper? Food for
Many of the Yiddish misehs (tales) of words and expressions. Here are a few: thought or for a good school essay!
the Old Country, by Sholom Aleichem, ah ferdisher gelechter, high laughter, ◆◆◆
were about Tevya der milchiger (Tevya like a horse’s whinny; a fairdisher Once upon a time, we lived near
the dairy man), later written into a play ponim, a horse-like expression; aire est Pimlico Race Course. We looked out
entitled Fiddler on the Roof. Tevya vee ah faird, he eats like a horse; aire the window and noticed people rushing
delivered dairy products to the folks in tracht vee ah faird, he thinks like a to the fairdlach races with an enthusi-
his Russian village. One day the anti- horse; aire loift vee ah faird, he runs astic gait, returning to their cars sever-
Semitic government officials decided to like a horse; and aire is ah groyseh al hours later dragging their feet. In
expel the Yidden from their shtetl faird, he is a big horse (not exactly a recent years, walking around after the
(town) as was the custom in many sec- compliment!). horse races can be unsafe. A few years
tions of Europe. Prior to leaving, Tevya ◆◆◆ ago, as I walked to shul for Mincha, a
goes to the barn and thanks his faird Nu, you may say, we don’t live in a drunk driver tossed a beer can out of
for pulling his dairy wagon for so many vacuum. What about expressions used the car and shouted an anti-Semitic
years. Of course, he speaks to his horse by the English-speaking masses slur. Nu, he probably lost his hoyzehn
in Yiddish. around us? Here’s a little story com- (pants) at the races. So who was to
◆◆◆ posed of horse phrases: blame? Yidden, of course…
Fairdlach (more than one faird) John, a stable manager, had ◆◆◆
were not always looked upon with good horse sense, but he failed in It is written that Moshiach ben
favor by our people as they reminded regard to one of his employees. He Dovid will arrive on a donkey (a rela-
us of being slaves in Egypt. After was desperate for someone to tive of the faird). Nu, our Muslim
being chased out of the country clean the stalls, when Henry “cousins” couldn’t mentally digest
because of the makkos (plagues) on appeared. Henry had a great such a happening, so they rewrote the
the Egyptians, we were once again resume and came with his own script with a character named Mahdi
pursued by our former slavemasters, tools. So, not looking a gift horse riding on a white faird. For them, a
whose chariots were pulled by – yes – in the mouth, he hired Henry, who donkey pahst nisht (was not fitting).
fairdlach! You know the rest of the indeed worked like a horse. Mahdi will then proceed to slaughter
story, right? Oyb nisht (if not), here is Unfortunately, one day, John all of us. Nu, go have peace with our
what happened: The fairdlach and noticed Henry and another stable “cousins”!
their charioteers had ah meesen soff boy, Bill, running around the track. In an old TV program called To
(an ugly ending), taking up permanent Bill ran like a horse and was win- Tell the Truth (anyone remember?),
residence at the bottom of the sea! ning the race. But John put a stop the object was for a panel to guess
Zoll azoy zine fahr unzehr sonim to it, shouting, “Stop horsing which of the three contestants were
(may it occur to our enemies)! around and get back to work!” He authentic and which was lying. The
◆◆◆ was inclined to fire Henry and Bill closing question was, “Will the real
In the Holy Torah, kings are warned but thought to himself, “It’s best person stand up?” One of the contest-
not to own too many fairdlach. not to change horses in the middle ants stood up, and the audience went
Fahrvoss (why)? you may ask. Go ask a of the stream.” His stable business wild. Nu, when the real Moshiach
gelerenter (knowledgeable) Yid. The was declining, but he comforted arrives, he will not have to go through
Torah also mentions Bilam’s talking himself in the knowledge that the any contest! We will know him imme-
donkey, who objected to his owner’s other stables were not doing well diately. What we pray for is for
whippings. Nu, you may say, an aizel either. “I guess every horse thinks Moshiach ben Dovid to arrive
(donkey) is not a horse. True. But many its own pack is the heaviest,” he bimhayraw beyawmaynu (quickly in
centuries later, Walter Brooks wrote a thought as he rode into the twilight. our days)!◆
112 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
