Page 130 - issue

wees (also in order of preference).
Then a computer algorithm compiled
all the data from both the applicants
and the residency programs and
matched each applicant to a program
in which they had ranked. (While it is
possible not to receive a match at all,
since there are more applicants than
spots, some people who don’t match
the first time can find an open spot in
a program they did not initially apply
to through the “secondary match”
process.) Finally, on “match day,” each
applicant finds out which program
they were assigned to by the match’s
algorithm, which brings us back to
that fateful day in the Hippodrome
theater.
Soon after matching, we began to
explore options for housing, shuls,
schools, and employment in the
Richmond area. Because Richmond
has a wonderful frum community,
finding a shul and school were easy.
Finding a job for myself was easy as
well, thanks to the help of the rav and
another community member. Finding
somewhere to live, however, was a lot
more challenging! We ideally wanted
to move two weeks before residency
started so that we would have time to
unpack and settle in before it began.
Unfortunately, many of the rental
properties we looked at were either
not available until later in the sum-
mer or were out of our price range.
We came down three times to look
at rental properties. Baruch Hashem,
a number of individuals in the
Richmond Jewish community offered
their time and expertise to help us
with this process. In the end, a friend
of mine from seminary, who had relo-
cated to Richmond with her family, let
me know about our current house the
day it went on the market, and we
were able to get the owners to hold it
for us until we could come down to
sign the lease a few days later.
July 1 is the first day for new resi- they were able to walk home together.
dents, and Dani’s orientation started
two weeks prior to that. We moved on
Monday, June 8, 2015, and were
blessed to have family follow us down
to help us settle in. With their help,
we were able to unpack almost the
122 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
entire house within two days! We were
also incredibly blessed to have a full
week of meals provided for us by
members of the community.
◆◆◆
It is now almost two years since
our move, and my husband will start
his last year of residency this July. And definitely did not want to stay in the
while being the wife of a resident def-
initely has its challenges, it has also
been very rewarding. We feel especial-
ly blessed to have had the privilege of
joining the Richmond Jewish commu-
nity. Being part of such a warm and
family-focused community makes the
challenges a lot more manageable.
One of the greatest challenges of
residency, as many know, is the
unpredictable and grueling schedule.
This impacts us in different ways. I
have learned not to make any plans
dependent on my husband’s schedule
as things can change at any moment.
I usually plan activities that we can do
with or without my husband, so that I
know there will be some structure to
our day no matter what happens.
While Dani does get Sundays off
occasionally, he is usually “on call,”
which means that he can be called
into the hospital whenever extra help
is needed or on “phone calls,” which
means that he answers people who
call the doctors’ “after hours” phone
number with medical questions.
An unpredictable schedule is espe-
cially hard on erev Shabbos or Yom
Tov as I never know what time my
husband will walk in the door. And,
because what he is doing is often
piku’ach nefesh (saving a life), there is to be a “mother’s helper.” It has been
always the possibility that he will need
to finish something in the hospital
and be delayed in coming home for
Shabbos. One Friday night, Dani had
to park his car downtown and walk
home. Baruch Hashem, he was giving
another frum man a ride home and
Unfortunately, I had already turned
off my phone, so Dani was unable to
get through to let me know what was
going on. I was pretty rattled when he
did not arrive until over two hours
after Shabbos had started. Baruch
Hashem, everyone was all right.
Legal holidays as well as winter
and summer vacations are challeng-
ing, too. Dani is almost always work-
ing, and many of the places I would
normally take my kids are closed. Our
first Thanksgiving in Richmond was
hard for me. All our friends were
spending the day with immediate or
extended family; we had no plans but
house all day. In the end, we decided
to visit Dani in the hospital and bring
him and the other residents (kosher)
Krispie Kreme donuts. In the after-
noon, we helped organize the Jewish
library. In addition to keeping us busy,
we were able to give back to others,
which was very meaningful to us. This
year, our family came down from
Baltimore for the Thanksgiving week-
end, which was really nice. (We were
also very touched by a friend’s invita-
tion to join her family’s annual
Thanksgiving dinner.)
At this point, probably the greatest
challenge that residency presents is
having limited support with child care
since we do not have family in town
and Dani’s schedule does not allow
him to help out a lot. I am lucky to
have a job that is part-time and flexi-
ble, so I am often able to adjust my
schedule if our children have vaca-
tion, are sick, or have no school.
There are times, though, when I am
unable to find coverage for my chil-
dren, and it can be very stressful. I am
still working on finding appropriate
support to help me balance all of my
responsibilities inside and outside of
the home, and recently asked an ele-
mentary-school-age girl to come to
my house after school one day a week
great.
Being a resident’s wife comes with
its own set of unique challenges, but
overall, I feel very blessed to be where
I am now and to be able to support
my husband in his goal of becoming a
pediatrician. I am also blessed to have
a flexible job where I feel I make a dif-
ference and to live an incredibly warm
and chesed-oriented community
where we have made many wonderful
friends.◆