Page 122 - issue
P. 122
ASCTOOVREYR accomplishment, she looked at me
quizzically and asked, “Why would you
Rby Eve Poupko in a household that was also anti-top- get rid of your top-sheets?”
ight before Shavuos I decided to sheet, my decision to hold onto them
give thought as to how the affir- was not a manifestation of guilt due to “Well,” I innocently replied, “We
mation “na’aseh venishma” any perceived inability to properly take don’t use them.” Looking aghast, she
affects both my spiritual and care of my family. Rather, it was due to inquired, “How do you keep your blan-
material well-being. This latter my optimistic but clearly unrealistic kets clean?” Her reaction to my reply of
effort, which turned out to be nature. I figured, as any unrealistic per- “we wash them” triggered the frighten-
the greater challenge of the two, son would, that I would eventually have ing thought that if this got around, the
was specifically directed at my linen some other use for them. Such uses shidduch possibilities for my children
closet. You see, when you buy a set of included but were not limited to the might be in severe jeopardy.
linen, you automatically accept the top- following; covering the ground if we
sheet as part of the package, along with were ever to go on a picnic (We hate The conversation left me so shaky
the assumption that an understanding sitting on the ground, so we always use that I began to have flashbacks. You
of its purpose will certainly follow. It the picnic tables), making a Purim cos- see, a mere 21 years ago, within
isn’t until you are knee deep in them tume for one of my kids (I don’t know nanoseconds of my engagement, I was
that you begin to question their exis- how to use a sewing machine), or rip- showered with well-meaning questions
tence. It seems, at least as far as I’m ping them into strips and tying tomato and concerns about setting up a
concerned, that top-sheets have a mind plants to a stake so they don’t fall over household. As you can imagine, my less
of their own. The few attempts made by (I hate gardening). As you can see the than perfect upbringing regarding linen
family members to use them for their term 20-20 hindsight certainly proves left me completely unprepared for what
intended purpose have ended up in true here. Twenty years and 20 top was coming. Who knew that, lurking in
various levels of mishap. These ranged sheets later, I was finally ready to face the linen-oriented minds of the previ-
from simply finding the sheet wedged reality: We are simply not a top-sheet ous generation, was the need to ensure
tightly between the wall and the bed to kind of family. that I never had to wash a blanket
full-fledged warfare – with “sleepers” again? Suddenly and with absolutely no
fighting to free themselves, as their legs After donating three bags of top- warning, the issue of quilt covers was
were being strangled. Invariably, the sheets to a worthy charity, I felt a keen raised. I, who could barely grasp the
person is left frustrated and annoyed, sense of relief. Apparently, the rest of idea of a top-sheet (and obviously still
while the sheet remains blissfully the world did not share my glee. My can’t), was clearly in a vulnerable posi-
unaware. first indication of this occurred as I was tion. Not wanting to raise anyone’s
telling my friend the good news about blood pressure by confessing that I had
This leads us to ask why I still had the newly available shelf in my linen never even heard of a quilt cover, I kept
so many. Fortunately, since I was raised closet. Clearly not understanding my quiet. My respect for my elders, com-
bined with my ability to keep a smile
pasted on my face, was rewarded. Just a
few months later, I became the proud
owner of six, yes six, state-of-the-art
quilt covers. Without going into the
gory details, let’s just say that my expe-
rience wrestling with quilt covers is
something that I wouldn’t wish on any-
one.
Now I was in a quandary. I had
accepted the quilt covers upon myself
without question. Being a newly-mar-
ried person, I clearly wasn’t in a posi-
tion to return the items, since any indi-
cation that I was less than ecstatic
might cause irreparable damage to my
relationship with my family. I therefore
chose the path of least resistance: I
moved out of the country. Really. Of
course, we told everybody it had to do
with my husband’s job, which certainly
did play a role in the decision. But
between you and me, it was merely a
cover story.◆
118 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
quizzically and asked, “Why would you
Rby Eve Poupko in a household that was also anti-top- get rid of your top-sheets?”
ight before Shavuos I decided to sheet, my decision to hold onto them
give thought as to how the affir- was not a manifestation of guilt due to “Well,” I innocently replied, “We
mation “na’aseh venishma” any perceived inability to properly take don’t use them.” Looking aghast, she
affects both my spiritual and care of my family. Rather, it was due to inquired, “How do you keep your blan-
material well-being. This latter my optimistic but clearly unrealistic kets clean?” Her reaction to my reply of
effort, which turned out to be nature. I figured, as any unrealistic per- “we wash them” triggered the frighten-
the greater challenge of the two, son would, that I would eventually have ing thought that if this got around, the
was specifically directed at my linen some other use for them. Such uses shidduch possibilities for my children
closet. You see, when you buy a set of included but were not limited to the might be in severe jeopardy.
linen, you automatically accept the top- following; covering the ground if we
sheet as part of the package, along with were ever to go on a picnic (We hate The conversation left me so shaky
the assumption that an understanding sitting on the ground, so we always use that I began to have flashbacks. You
of its purpose will certainly follow. It the picnic tables), making a Purim cos- see, a mere 21 years ago, within
isn’t until you are knee deep in them tume for one of my kids (I don’t know nanoseconds of my engagement, I was
that you begin to question their exis- how to use a sewing machine), or rip- showered with well-meaning questions
tence. It seems, at least as far as I’m ping them into strips and tying tomato and concerns about setting up a
concerned, that top-sheets have a mind plants to a stake so they don’t fall over household. As you can imagine, my less
of their own. The few attempts made by (I hate gardening). As you can see the than perfect upbringing regarding linen
family members to use them for their term 20-20 hindsight certainly proves left me completely unprepared for what
intended purpose have ended up in true here. Twenty years and 20 top was coming. Who knew that, lurking in
various levels of mishap. These ranged sheets later, I was finally ready to face the linen-oriented minds of the previ-
from simply finding the sheet wedged reality: We are simply not a top-sheet ous generation, was the need to ensure
tightly between the wall and the bed to kind of family. that I never had to wash a blanket
full-fledged warfare – with “sleepers” again? Suddenly and with absolutely no
fighting to free themselves, as their legs After donating three bags of top- warning, the issue of quilt covers was
were being strangled. Invariably, the sheets to a worthy charity, I felt a keen raised. I, who could barely grasp the
person is left frustrated and annoyed, sense of relief. Apparently, the rest of idea of a top-sheet (and obviously still
while the sheet remains blissfully the world did not share my glee. My can’t), was clearly in a vulnerable posi-
unaware. first indication of this occurred as I was tion. Not wanting to raise anyone’s
telling my friend the good news about blood pressure by confessing that I had
This leads us to ask why I still had the newly available shelf in my linen never even heard of a quilt cover, I kept
so many. Fortunately, since I was raised closet. Clearly not understanding my quiet. My respect for my elders, com-
bined with my ability to keep a smile
pasted on my face, was rewarded. Just a
few months later, I became the proud
owner of six, yes six, state-of-the-art
quilt covers. Without going into the
gory details, let’s just say that my expe-
rience wrestling with quilt covers is
something that I wouldn’t wish on any-
one.
Now I was in a quandary. I had
accepted the quilt covers upon myself
without question. Being a newly-mar-
ried person, I clearly wasn’t in a posi-
tion to return the items, since any indi-
cation that I was less than ecstatic
might cause irreparable damage to my
relationship with my family. I therefore
chose the path of least resistance: I
moved out of the country. Really. Of
course, we told everybody it had to do
with my husband’s job, which certainly
did play a role in the decision. But
between you and me, it was merely a
cover story.◆
118 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
