To the Shadchan:

I am a yeshiva bachur, aged 24. I have been going out for a year and a half. All the shidduchim have resulted in just two or three dates before the girl or I called it off. Now I have gone out with a very nice girl six times. The feedback I got after the last couple of dates is that she likes me but it’s not “going anywhere.” The shadchan told me that it’s time to start bringing the shidduch “to the next level.” By that, she means that I am supposed to have some “deeper discussions” and “open up” more. She didn’t give me much more guidance than that. I’m not a very emotional person, and I’m not quite sure how to go about it. What topics do you suggest that will help us form a better understanding of each other’s personalities, perspectives, and goals? Is it all a matter of abstract discussion, or is there some other way to connect on a deeper level? All this seems kind of artificial to me, but I’ll give it my best shot if it will help.

A well-known pasuk in Tehilim (89:3) says “Olam chesed yibaneh – The world is built on kindness.”in Pirkei Avos, gemilus chasadim, doing kind deeds, is considered one of the three pillars of the world. Indeed, it is man’s humanity to man, caring about others and reaching out to them that makes the world a good place to be.

True kindness doesn’t have to take a lot of time or effort. It does take empathy and caring: putting oneself in another’s place and thinking about how that person feels. True kindness is looking under the surface to understand the need of the other person and filling that need.

To write this article, I asked everyone I met about small kindnesses they had experienced. It was a great conversation topic; it was fascinating to hear what people remembered and what was important to them. Everyone I came in contact with was included in my quest to hear meaningful stories: from Shabbos guests to sons-in-law to walking partners to email correspondents. Their answers may surprise you.

The bracha (blessing) of arichas yamim (long life) is becoming more common in our generation. The average life expectancy has risen with the availability of the many brachos we enjoy, including healthy food and water, access to adequate health care, and a plethora of information about healthy living. How fortunate are those who are zocheh (merit) to live long, productive, and fulfilling lives.

There are many myths associated with “normal aging,” and it is important to know the difference between what is normal as we grow older and indications of possible underlying issues. Knowledge is power when it comes to helping yourself or your loved ones live the most happy and fulfilling life. If experiencing warning signs, seek guidance instead of mistakenly thinking that this is what happens when people get old and there is nothing to do about it.

Awkward, scared, uncomfortable, worried. These are the feelings that come to mind when considering having an “adult” conversation with a child. Yet such conversations are necessary to empower our children’s safe and healthy development throughout the year. The approaching summer months, when many children go to sleep-away camps, present an especially important time to do so. We have greater awareness than ever before of the occasional boundary crossing and even abuse that can take place within our community. It is thus incumbent on us as parents to properly prepare our children before they leave home for an extended period of time.

What do people do once their grown children are on their own and they’ve retired from their jobs? Travel, of course. Seniors have always been well represented in foreign and domestic travel. Now, Jewish seniors can also take advantage of an ever-expanding array of farflung – even exotic – travel experiences.

“In the good old days, seniors packed a peckalah, got in their car, and took off for the day. Now seniors can travel anywhere,” say Dave Broth of Caves Travel. He and his wife Nancy have been booking trips for clients and themselves for over 27 years.

During these years, the Broths occupied the familiar Caves Travel office on Reisterstown Road. At the end of 2017, they sold the property and moved the agency to their home on Shelburne Road. There, they continue to book trips by phone, email, and  fax.

President Donald Trump’s recent acknowledgement of Israeli sovereignty in the Golan Heights thrust this otherwise sleepy part of the country into the international limelight. Next week, a handful of officials and local residents will celebrate the American recognition by laying the cornerstone of a new Golan town, which will be named after POTUS 45. Many have praised Trump’s decision, believing that it will secure Israel’s hold on this strategic 700-square-mile stretch of land, which buffers the country from Syria, provides a third of Israel’s water supply, and offers some of the most pristine nature sites in the region.

To be honest, I haven’t noticed anything different here since the big news.

In last month’s issue of the Where What When, I began the story of Menachem Begin, one of the great leaders of our people. To recap: Begin was born in 1913 and grew up in a shomer Shabbos home in Brisk. At age 13, he joined Betar, the youth movement of the Revisionist Zionists, and became enamored of Vladimir Ze’ev Jabotinsky, its founder. Jabotinsky believed that the Zionist leadership under Chaim Weizmann and David Ben Gurion was too weak and too passive. The Revisionists had the same ultimate goal as the mainstream Zionists, a Jewish state, but they were willing to achieve their goal by force, if necessary, rather than depending on the goodwill of the gentiles.

In 1940, the Soviet authorities arrested Begin for anti-Soviet and anti-Communist propaganda and sentenced him to eight years. Fortunately, as a Polish national, he was soon released as the result of a Soviet-Polish treaty. He joined the Free Polish Army and ended up in Palestine, where he spent two years working for the Polish Army while at the same time building relations with the Betar cells there. After being let go by the Polish army, he became head of the military organization Etzel, Irgun Tzva Leumi, or the Irgun.

Summer is synonymous with vacations. And vacation means going somewhere. Folks, it’s a beautiful world out there, and exploring it expands our horizons and makes us appreciate the wonders we have been given. Being able to hit the road as a family is positive in many ways.

and offers invaluable lessons for children. This includes showing gratitude to our Creator for the glorious world we have been given. Another is the positive lesson that we can be frum anywhere and that mitzva observance does not hinder our aspirations and opportunities. Travel also offers such wonderful memories – and some great family photos – suitable for framing.

In addition to great family vacations, here’s an alternative travel idea: A parent might take one or two children on their own cross-country camping trip. This could serve as a reward for good school performance or any other goal. Imagine the child’s excitement at earning a Sunday-through-Friday trip with Dad to visit some of the national parks out west. It is not expensive (with credit card points) and can totally turn a life around.

Who among us has not longingly passed the colorful seed rack at the dollar store or the tomato plants in front of Giant, or had a hopeful little one come home from school with a lanky bean plant in a Styrofoam cup? Whether your gardening urges have been fleeting thoughts of free vegetables, a half-hearted response to an urgent five-year-old, or grandiose dreams of buoyant flower beds, there is a way to have a satisfying gardening experience without breaking your back or your budget.

I remember a family friend who spoke of listening to all the advice and marketing about double digging, soil amendments, fertilizer spikes, plant supports, and watering systems. After one season of such madness, he gave up in disgust. “At four dollars a tomato, it wasn’t worth it,” he said. He was right: It wasn’t worth it – and it wasn’t necessary.

Here are the keys to a cheap and successful vegetable garden:

1) Start small: A few tomato and cucumber plants in a one-by-six-foot area are more likely to give you satisfaction than an elaborate planting of many vegetables and flowers. You will have time to take care of them, which in turn increases chances for success. Next year, when you are full of confidence, is soon enough to add a few new items.

2) Plant vegetables, and most flowers, in full sun: Really keep track over the course of a whole day after the trees have leafed out. Your chosen spot should be in unobstructed sunlight for at least six middle-of-the-day hours (or eight hours if some of the sunlight time is early or late in the day). If you don’t have such a spot anywhere in your yard, stick with shade plants such as impatiens, ferns, and hostas. No, sorry, none of these are edible.

Who can forget the 1978 peace treaty between Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat of Egypt? Those of us without TVs in the house (no internet then) ran to neighbors to watch the signing ceremony on the White House lawn. We cried when Begin removed his yarmulke from his pocket to recite psalm 126, the Shir Hamaalot before benching – in Hebrew! This is the psalm that presages the return of the Jews to Eretz Yisrael, and Begin explained to the global audience that he had first learned it at his father’s table in Poland. He invited them to look it up in their English Bibles. What drama! What an emotional moment!

To most people under 60, the name Menachem Begin may as well be a part of ancient history. Ben Gurion is the famous one of Israel’s early days. Begin, with his diametrically opposing views, sat in the Knesset for years in seemingly permanent, albeit vocal, opposition. The Mapai Labor Zionists – a socialist, anti-religious, discriminatory (to Sefardim) party – ruled the government and dominated the society. The country was miserably poor and surrounded by implacable enemies.

Then, in 1977, in a surprise upset, Begin won the election and became prime minister. No head of the government before or since has been quite like Begin. He was one of a kind – a man of principle and resolve, steeped in Jewish tradition and feeling. In many ways, he changed the trajectory of Israeli history and laid the foundation for the strong and rich country we know today.

I want to review some incidents in his life which show the unique character of Menachem Begin so that we can have appreciation for one of the great leaders of our people.