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Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski

The Spiritual Approach to Addiction

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski and the Spiritual Approach to Addiction

“We, the Jewish community, often comfort ourselves with the myth that problems like drug addiction, alcoholism, and spousal abuse affect the general community much more than they affect us, and therefore we don’t have to worry about these issues.”

With these words Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski introduced his lecture about addiction at the JCC’s Gordon Center on December 18. Rabbi Dr. Twerski spoke passionately to convince us that the first step to overcoming addiction and helping our family members and children is getting rid of denial and going for help if there is a problem.

Denial is a very strong defense mechanism, said Dr. Twerski, and very difficult to overcome. He told of a woman who was treated at his clinic for cancer. For many months, she was grateful to the staff. She often spoke about her disease and how happy she was to live in a time when there is treatment for cancer. Unfortunately, after about six months, the treatment was no longer effective. When told that her pain was caused by the cancer, she got very angry. She felt betrayed that nobody had told her that she had cancer. Her denial had been so deeply ingrained that, although she had previously said the appropriate words, inside, she was denying the fact that she had a potentially fatal illness. We have to accept the fact that we are also vulnerable to problems of addiction and be watchful for the first signs of a problem.

Our prisons are overflowing with people serving sentences for possessing and selling drugs, yet the problem shows no signs of abating. Why does our society have such difficulty with all kinds of addictions? The source of addiction, said Rabbi Twerski, is the pursuit of pleasure. We have taken the Constitution’s guarantee of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to mean the pursuit of pleasure. There is nothing wrong with enjoying life, but if that is the ultimate goal, it can lead to problems.

Spirituality is a good antidote to addiction problems. The 12-step addiction recovery programs are based on spirituality. People learn to do a self-awareness inventory. They learn to correct shortcomings and make amends to the people they have harmed. Spirituality does not mean religion. Dr. Twerski defined spirituality as what makes us different from an animal. An animal is a prisoner of its physical needs. It cannot delay gratification. It cannot be considerate of another animal’s feelings. It cannot deny its own needs in order to give to another animal. An animal does not think about how it can be a better animal. A person can learn to lift himself above immediate physical pleasure to the higher level of spirituality. And that growth can help cure addiction.

If the 12-step program is so successful as a treatment method, why don’t we also use it as a preventative program? The answer is that it involves change. It is very difficult to make even a small change in personality. People are not usually willing to do the work of changing without having hit rock bottom and seeing clearly that they have no other choice.

Parents, however, can work to prevent problems with addiction in their children. Since children tend to emulate what they see and experience, a harmonious home, where the parents show unconditional love to each other, will teach children how to live spiritual lives. Parents can teach their children by example to “do good” rather than “feel good.” They can teach them to reach higher, to do for others, and to find meaning in their own life greater than the pursuit of pleasure. As Dr. Twerski said, “Self-esteem is contagious.”

Strong family bonding has also been shown to inoculate children against many problems of adolescence. A study on family life indicated that one of the main things successful families had in common was eating dinner together. Dr. Twerski, talked about the happy marriage of his parents. Although his father saw his mother for the first time after the chupa, their love was based on giving to each other. Many modern marriages are based on what gratification can I get from my spouse. If each spouse is pursuing his or her own pleasure, often, they are running in opposite directions, which may lead to our 50 percent divorce rate.

Dr. Twerski mentioned the wonderful work Jewish Addiction Services is doing in Baltimore. Although alcoholism and drug addiction are universal problems, each group of people has its own way of life, and can best be helped by professionals who understand Jewish culture. The problems cannot be hidden; getting help when necessary is very important and not something to be ashamed about.

Rabbi Twerski ended on a hopeful note: Even the best parenting is not a guarantee of perfect children. Avraham had eight children, and only one turned out well, even though Avraham certainly tried to convey his teachings to all his children. G-d nevertheless trusted Avraham to be the father of the whole Jewish people. “We have to do our best,” said Dr. Twerski, “but the job is not ours to complete.”

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Article List - January 2007