Where What When

My Uncle Nathan

On August 22, 2006, I attended a beautiful and inspirational funeral. Usually, I do not think of funerals as beautiful, but this one was different. This funeral was for my uncle, Nathan Pristoop. Uncle Nathan was born in 1909, in a shtetl in the Ukraine, immigrated to America when he was 14, did not finish high school, and constantly thanked G-d for his wonderful life.

Uncle Nathan was grateful that he was able to come to America and be Jewish. Uncle Nathan was grateful that he met and married Sylvia Shuvalsky, the love of his life, and had 65 peaceful years with her. He thanked G-d that he had an intelligent, empathic, well-rounded son, who is a prominent doctor, dedicated to his family, and always was there for his parents. Uncle Nathan was grateful for his two nieces and a nephew, whom he raised after their father was brutally murdered at the grocery store he owned.

Uncle Nathan acquired my side of the family when he married Aunt Sylvia. Along with his wife, Uncle Nathan also gained a “little brother,” Moshe Shuvalsky, my father, who adored his sister and did not want her to leave home. My grandparents, Aunt Sylvia’s parents, could not help but love this peaceful, responsible man who was so dedicated to their daughter.

Maybe the fact that Uncle Nathan loved Aunt Sylvia so much and thought she was the smartest and prettiest lady he ever knew is what he had in common with my father, his new little brother. Or maybe it was that, even though my father and Aunt Sylvia were so studious and serious, they had a fun loving, mischievous side that they needed to share with someone else. Those are part of the happy memories my father spoke about often. Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sylvia took him to parks and beaches on Sundays. Aunt Sylvia was an excellent swimmer, and my father loved to go in the ocean with her and her husband.

Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Nathan, later in their lives, loved to travel to many places around the world. They got a kick out of walking throughout G-d’s world. At 85 and 87 years old, Uncle Nathan and Aunt Sylvia climbed a big mountain in Australia and spoke about G-d’s beautiful world and how grateful they were that G-d had given them that experience. Maybe that is another thing my father had in common with Uncle Nathan. My father was an explorer and adventurer, too. He loved to travel to many places and spread Torah to Jewish people who did not know much about Judaism.

Another great memory I have is of my father and Uncle Nathan walking and talking together and listening to all types of people around them. After Aunt Sylvia passed away in 2001, my father called Uncle Nathan daily, as he used to call his sister. When Uncle Nathan took up residence at Weinberg Park in 2004, my father went to see him almost daily. My father and Uncle Nathan did yoga classes there together. My father took Uncle Nathan to the senior center once a week to play bridge. Uncle Nathan told me how much he enjoyed my father’s friendship. I told Uncle Nathan that he gave so much to my father and that my father enjoyed being with him. Most of the time, my father talked and Uncle Nathan listened. Uncle Nathan would tell me, “Your father is wonderful man,” and my father would tell me that Uncle Nathan was “a wonderful man.”

Only recently did I discuss with Uncle Nathan what life was like for him living in the Ukraine before and during World War I. He sadly told me of watching his brother and uncle being shot by the Cossacks when he was quite young, of his father living in America for 10 years before the family could come over, of going to first grade in America at the age of 14 years old, and of living through the Depression years. After each conversation, I felt very good. How could someone feel good after hearing about those terrible things? I felt good because of how Uncle Nathan felt. He was not bitter about anything he went through. Uncle Nathan loved G-d and appreciated the many blessings he received. The only time I ever saw Uncle Nathan become sad was when he told me how much he missed “his beautiful, smart, wife.” Still, he finished the conversation by saying that G-d was good to him, because He gave him 65 beautiful years with Aunt Sylvia.

I am going to very much miss Uncle Nathan’s quiet belief in G-d’s blessings and his optimistic attitude. To clarify, Uncle Nathan was not sickly sweet. He was a realist, who spoke of hard work and did not believe in instant gratification. But he did know how to focus on what G-d gives and not on what one does not have. During every one of my visits at Weinberg Park, Uncle Nathan stated that he was in a good place, where he got good food and good care. I looked forward to my visits to Uncle Nathan, because he gave me something that no one else could give me. He consistently demonstrated that happiness is a state of mind. I can see Uncle Nathan clearly, where he is now, up in Heaven reunited with Aunt Sylvia and the rest of his family. He is approaching G-d and saying, “Finally, I get to meet the One responsible for my great life! Thank you, G-d.”

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Article List - October 2006