When the editor of WWW asked
if I’d like to write an article about shalach manos, also
known as mishlach manos, I smiled, and I haven’t stopped smiling.
In fact, every time I am worrying about something, if I start thinking shalach
manos, I stop worrying (except about getting this article done on time).
Why do I smile thinking about, preparing, delivering, and receiving shalach
manos on Purim, when it’s such a busy day? I guess because shalach
manos is a time of giving.
After the
morning Megillah reading, here in Baltimore and in Atlanta,
where I lived for many years, cars start driving up and down the street, with
Purim songs blasting from the car windows. Queen Esthers, Mordechais, pirates,
and even Uncle Moishe walk down the street to deliver shalach manos.
I hear the knocks at my door and see the shining faces of these children as
they hand over their precious gifts of friendship. It’s a lovely mitzvah to
extend friendship through shalach manos on Purim.
The mitzvahs
related to Purim are found in the last part of the Book of Esther: “Mordechai
recorded these events and sent letters to all the Jews...[charging them] to
observe annually the fourteenth day of the month of Adar and its fifteenth
day...as days of feasting and gladness, and sending delicacies to one, and
gifts to the poor. (ArtScroll translation, Esther 9:20-23).
Instead
of delicacies, other translators use the word portions.
Either way, it’s a mitzvah on Purim day to send a gift of two ready-to-eat foods
to one person. It doesn’t have to be foods that require different brachas.
An apple and an orange will do, just not two apples or two oranges. A person
could send an apple and an orange in a brown paper bag and fulfill the mitzvah,
but most people do more. Some add hamentashen, nuts, candy, grape juice, and
other goodies; many use a theme.
Some are gifted
at putting together shalach manos. The Jewish magazines often have
ideas for making shalach manos look like they were bought in a
specialty shop. Mine look more homemade, often with a touch of spring. In
addition to my hamentashen, fruit, and heart candies, I sometimes slip in a
packet of flower seeds. It’s not easy to grow flowers from seeds, but it’s a
message to others that spring and new growth are coming. Once, my next door
neighbor pointed to a cluster of bright orange marigolds growing at the side of
her house and said, “They came from the seeds you gave me.” Nice
surprise!
A friend said
that she makes simple shalach manos. “I just give out my kreplach,”
she said. I’ve never even made kreplach so I don’t think that’s so simple – I
hope I get to taste hers. And I hope to taste a few other goodies, like ones
I’ve received in the past: a breakfast shalach manos of a
muffin and iced coffee; a lunch of a hotdog on a bun with chips and a drink; or
a mini Shabbos package of a small challah, grape juice, and potato kugel.
Sometimes I give an exotic packet of tea to sip while relaxing at the end of
the day. Of course, it’s in addition to the two ready-to-eat foods that are
required.
It’s
not compulsory to dress up to deliver shalach manos. But
if a family dresses up for Purim, their shalach manos often
match their costumes. A family across the street put together a shalach
manos in an Amazon box with the logo in Hebrew, Am Mazone
(Nation of Food). It contained a homemade challah and other food. One of their
children, wearing the Hebrew Am Mazone insignia, delivered the box. Her
mother, Tzipora L, who baked the challah, always writes a creative poem about what’s
going on in the world, tying in Purim. Looking through their family's Purim
scrapbook, including the poems, her daughter said, “Mom, every year you write
the same thing: that Hashem is running the world!”
Batsheva B,
another friend, dressed up as Mary Poppins (my own favorite costume). For her
matching shalach manos, she included sugar cubes and medicine
droppers with colored punch to depict the character’s drawl “r -r-rum punch.”
Another year, her shalach manos theme was nursery rhymes and
tales. She packed hardboiled eggs for Humpty Dumpty, muffins for Little Miss
Muffet, and a loaf of bread for the Little Red Hen, who couldn’t get anyone to
help her make and bake it. When the Little Red Hen finished, all the animals
wanted to eat the bread, but she didn’t let them because they didn’t help. Remember
that tale, which was so helpful to mothers trying to get their children to
cooperate?
The Little Red Hen is only a folktale, but, in truth, we may wish we
could help others more or take back what we might have said that caused a rift
in a relationship. Purim is
an ideal time to make peace with others through giving shalach manos.
We can even reach out to acquaintances and new members of the community by
dropping off shalach manos or making donations in their honor.
Over the past
years, giving tzedakah in lieu of shalach manos has become
popular. We still need to fulfill the mitzvah of giving a portion of two
ready-to-eat foods to one other person, but beyond that, someone might choose
to donate tzedakah in honor of their friends. Ahavas Yisrael and other charity
organizations as well as several of the Jewish schools sponsor Purim
fundraising projects either with cards or gifts delivered to the recipient.
I remember that
one of the first Purim tzedakah cards I received when I lived in Atlanta was
from my former high school friend Julie M. It was an Ahavas Yisrael scratch-off
card. I had never received such a Purim card. With a penny, I scratched off the
area to see if I won. I didn’t, but the card stated that I was a winner anyway
because the donation in my honor would help recipients of Ahavas Yisrael. These
cards, the brainchild of Eli Schlossberg, are available from Ahavas Yisrael and
can be purchased online and at many Jewish stores.
Talmudical
Academy (TA) and Torah Institute (TI) make it easy to send donations. TA’s
Purim card includes a personal message for every donation made. TI delivers a
gift, such as a traveling Havdalah set in a leather sleeve, along with some
food and a list of donors. Bais Yaakov sends shalach manos to
recipients here and in Israel, as well as to teachers, which are sponsored
by student donations in each class. Ohr Chadash sells Purim cards, and Bnos
Yisrael sells Purim postcards. Other shalach manos tzedakah
projects may pop up closer to Purim.
By the time
we’re ready to sit down to the seudah or leave to join
friends, I read the names of the people who gave tzedakah in our honor and
glance at my kitchen table piled with shalach manos from new
friends here in Baltimore. And I smile, wishing this day could last
longer.
After the seudah,
I remove the identifying cards from each package and tape them to the kitchen
door. It could be just a name on a slip of paper, a note, or a poem, but as I
scrub every surface for Pesach, I look at those names and realize that these
friends are also preparing for Pesach. We’re really all one family reaching out
on Purim through the mitzvah of shalach manos, which comes but once a year but
reconnects us to each other and to the joy of being Jewish.
