by Friends of Shidduch in a Box
A new initiative to help singles find their bashert has come to Baltimore from Eretz Yisrael. We hope this new program helps to serve klal Yisrael in helping to make shidduchim along with our extremely dedicated shadchanim, rabbanim, and everyone of us who tries to help with a shidduch.
This tool is unique in that it encourages likeminded singles who have a common thread not only of hashkafos and goals; they are also brought together by a new, fresh source of enthusiasm – their dear friends, the chassan and kalla! – who know or are connected in some way to all the singles at the wedding.
Shidduch in a Box (SIB) is helpful and appropriate for all social circles, because it is done in a tzniusdik manner. Anyone can participate, either for him or herself or for someone else. The redting is also encouraged to be done in an appropriate and tzniusdik manner, as we will explain.
How Does Shidduch in a Box Work?
About a month before the wedding, the kalla or chassan should be in touch with SIB. We will go over all of the details. We have arranged with caterers in town to store, set up, and in some cases disassemble the SIB Kit. The kit is comprised of profile sheets to fill in, pens, clipboards, an explanation of SIB, and a secure locked box. At the chasana, a SIB station will be set up in a very aesthetically pleasing way at both the men’s and women’s place card tables. A station will be set up in the bathrooms as well for those who would appreciate more privacy. In addition, we will be suggesting that the new couple print envelopes with their new address and place them on the singles’ tables, so that people can send in profiles later if they choose.
The couple designates a trusted family member or friend to take responsibility to unlock the box with the profiles toward the end of the chasana. The profiles are put discretely into a binder, which will be handed over to the chassan and kalla after the chasana (at sheva brachos or shortly thereafter). The new couple now has a stack of profiles to start trying to match up their friends.
FAQ
Wouldn’t the chassan and kalla know all the information that is being collected anyway?
No. The chassan does not know the kalla’s friends (hopefully!), and the kalla does not know the chasan’s friends. Most likely, the new couple has not been sitting around trying to find out everything about all of their single friends to try to match them up. Even if they did, they may not necessarily know what all of the singles at their wedding are looking for, until they get the information. Another great advantage of this system is that circles of singles from different cities come together that night. Also, other guests at this particular chasana may have a son or daughter/nephew or niece for whom this crowd of friends might be fill out a profile for the single they have in mind. The more networking from everyone, the better.
Why would a boy whose mother is inundated with profiles want to participate?
Because there is an added advantage of the chassan, who know his friends, is now able to mull over ideas with his new kalla, who knows her friends. “Chances” are they have a good shot at pairing likeminded people, given the opportunity.
Does it cost the families making the simcha money to participate?
Absolutely not! Volunteering to do SIB is very much appreciated, and we want to make it as easy as possible for families to participate.
Is SIB endorsed by rabbanim?
Yes, Rabbi Heinemann, Rabbi Zev Leff, Rabbi Menachem Nissel, and Rabbi Boruch Smith, of Baltimore and Yerushalayim approve.
Does the chassan or kalla have to redt the shidduchim?
Absolutely not. In fact, one of the rabbanim strongly suggests that when a shidduch is thought of, it should be handed over to an experienced shadchan, rav, mentor, or parent to do the rest.
Can SIB use any help?
Absolutely! Sponsors and volunteers are welcome and needed. May it be a zechus!
For more information, please call or text Shoshanah at 443-392-2934. You may also look up the original Israeli branch of SIB (for information only) at www.shidduchinabox.com.
